46. The Series 3, Show 13 shooting script...
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Series 3, Show 13
Show Recorded: 18/01/73
TX: 21/12/72 |
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a) The Nude Organist and It's Man sections are noted as having been filmed in Jersey.
b) Throughout the script various subsidiary characters are noted as being played by 'DANCER'. There were four male dancers hired for 'Choreographed Party Political Broadcast' (originally recorded for inclusion in this show) and these were also used as extras. They can be seen in 'Showbiz Awards' (as the two dinner jacketed officials, the pantomime goose and the dummy Princess Margaret), in 'Oscar Wilde' (as four 'fashionable people'); among the crowd of disgruntled cricketers in the studio in 'Pasolini's Third Match' and as the queue of patients in 'Blood Donor'. The script doesn't name them but it's nice to pay tribute to their ubiquity here, especially since the sketch they were hired for in the first place has gone awol.
The script also credits Frank Lester as 'Brown Coat 1' (i.e. one of the two men who bring on the urn, etc). 'Brown Coat 2' isn't referred to but in the tx he's played by Terry Gilliam.
c) During the first 'Showbiz Awards' section a script note reads 'HE HAS SOME CUE CARDS IN HIS HANDS. YOU KNOW ROGER'. A note for Roger Last the Assistant Floor Manager. There are a couple of lines Tipp-Exed out before "He started in the film industry in 1924...". Another note suggests that the Urn (containing the remains of the late Alan Waddle) clears its throat before speaking, and also has a 'SILLY VOICE - SEE ERIC' (although the voiceover is performed by Palin)
d) A script note about the intro of the 'Oscar Wilde' sketch - 'SOME STOCK FILM (COLOUR) OF HANSON CABS IN LONDON ARE GALLOPING PAST. (PERHAPS FROM THE TRIALS OF OSCAR WILDE, BUT ANYWAY THAT PERIOD)'. The film used in the tx is black and white so this was probably ignored. A later script note describes the guests at Oscar Wilde's residence as 'LAUGHING EFFETELY AND DRINKING CHAMPAGNE (REAL CHAMPAGNE)'. Well, it was nearly the end of the series...
The script calls for 'FIFTEEN SECONDS OF RESTRAINED AND SYCOPHANTIC LAUGHTER'. And this is exactly what we get. Almost on the dot. Terry Jones' eyes seem to wander a bit during the laughter, suggesting perhaps that he was checking off-stage where someone was counting down, allowing him to time it correctly.
A cut section here (which has never resurfaced anywhere since):
The above was definitely recorded - the edit and laughter-wash are quite apparent - and it's interesting to note how the excised lines change the nature of the sketch slightly, with Wilde's apparent panic (of having the Prince of Wales leaving the party with a smile placed upon his face by someone other than himself - to paraphrase Chapman's descriptions in A Liar's Autobiography) all but gone. Later, better written, versions of the sketch (eg on the LP Matching Tie And Handkerchief) also transferred the blaming of the "dose of clap" line to Wilde rather than Shaw.
Whistler also murmurs "Short arse" to Whistler during the laughter which follows "You shine out like a shaft of gold...". In the tx the line is "Smartarse." Just The Words quotes neither.
e) 'Thripshaw's Disease' was originally intended to follow the animated sequence featuring a woman having a really noisy shit at a party and 'Charwoman' (the superheroine whose breasts burst). As mentioned before this was cut from the show and dropped into Show 10. In the proposed version we were to cut back to 'Showbiz Awards' where Dickie (Idle) is seen 'WEEPING AND APPLAUDING THE FILM CLIP WHICH WE HAVE JUST SEEN AND WHICH IS JUST ENDING ON THE OVERLAY SCREEN. I.E. WE CONTINUE THE DOCTOR SCENE ON FILM FOR JUST A GNATS OR TWO'. In the tx there's no evidence of any of this on the overlay screen. It's just blue.
A script note re: David Niven's fridge - '(THE SAME SILLY VOICE, STILL SEE ERIC)'. In the tx the 'same silly voice' is still Palin. As we cut to the Passolini film, a stage direction for Dickie - '(HE LEADS RATHER SPASMODIC APPLAUSE, ONLY FROM HIM, AS WE ZOOM INTO OVERLAY OR CUT TO THE PASOLINI FILM)'. In the tx he doesn't applaud at all.
f) An extra bit of the Pasolini film:
In the tx we cut straight through to the studio without the religious symbolism mentioned above. Also lost is Terry Jones' cricketer's first line: "What was the lunchtime score?" (as we join the scene we see the rest of the cricketers growling in agreement).
g) In 'Mrs Zambezi's New Brain' the onscreen captions referring to decimalization aren't actually written down but camera directions in the margin say things like 'S'POSE SLIDE 10' so they must have been cued in on the night of recording.
The back reference to Show 5's 'Our Eammon' (Chapman on the phone checking his shoe size) isn't present in the shooting script. The 'new brain itself is described as a 'TWO FOOT SQUARE SILVER CUBE (EFFECTS N.B.) WITH VARIOUS GADGETS ON IT AND WIRES... TO BE DISCUSSED'. By the time they discussed it they'd evidently decided to whittle it down to six inches.
"Bertrand Russell Super Silver" was originally "Erasmus Super Silver" and cost a hundred quid less. The Second Mrs Zambezi (Jones) was originally going to say "Good morning, Mr President" as part of the rambling monologue while having her brain fitted. In the tx it's "Mr Presley" (according to Just The Words anyway - it could just be a mishearing of Jones' slurred speech.)
The First Mrs Zambezi's mimed payment (a joke which also resurfaced in Series 4, Show 2) isn't noted in the script. Palin's salesman was also intended to give her a receipt but this doesn't occur in the tx. As they go off to give blood they pass a penguin and some unexploded Scotsmen (both back references to earlier shows). In the script (and in Just The Words) the penguin is described as 'READING A PAPER', although in the tx it's merely carrying one. There's no reference in the script to Jones' line as they reach the hospital: "Well being President of the United States is something that I shall have to think about.". Also, the script describes this scene as 'Z1 AND Z2 WALK THROUGH WITH THEIR BRAINS ON' which, y'know, is wrong, unless there was an alternate earlier version of the sketch which had both Zambezis receiving new brains.
h) 'Blood Donor' originally had a longer ending. Considering the nature of the material it's likely that it was filmed and then removed as part of the Cotton/Wood purge detailed earlier. As we join the sketch, 'Grimshaw' (Idle) has already offered urine, spit, sweat and earwax and 'Mr Samson' (Cleese) is starting to get a tad annoyed...
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MR SAMSON (CLEESE)
This is a Blood Bank - all we want is blood.
GRIMSHAW (IDLE)
All right. I'll give you some. (HE HANDS HIM A JAR FULL OF BLOOD).
MR SAMSON
Where did you get that?
GRIMSHAW
Today. It's today's.
MR SAMSON
What group is it?
GRIMSHAW
What groups are there?
MR SAMSON
Well there's A...
GRIMSHAW
It's A...
MR SAMSON
(SNIFFING THE BLOOD) Just a minute. It's mine. This blood is mine. What are you doing with it?
GRIMSHAW
I found it.
MR SAMSON
You found it. You bloody nicked it out of my body, didn't you?
GRIMSHAW
No.
MR SAMSON
No wonder I'm feeling off colour. (STARTS TO SWIG THE BLOOD. GRIMSHAW GRABS IT BACK) Give me my blood back.
GRIMSHAW
It's mine.
MR SAMSON
It's mine. You bloody stole it.
GRIMSHAW
Didn't.
MR SAMSON
Give it me.
GRIMSHAW
All right. But only if I can give urine.
MR SAMSON
All right. Get in the queue.
GRIMSHAW GOES OFF IN DIRECTION OF QUEUE. SOMEONE COMES IN, SEES SAMSON DRINKING THE BLOOD AND RUNS OUT IN HORROR
MR SAMSON
Uhm, very nice. Another half please.
HE SLAPS THE CONTAINER OF BLOOD DOWN ON WHAT WE NOW SEE IS A COUNTER.
CUT TO REVERSE ANGLE, AND THERE, HIDDEN FROM THE VIEW OF THE AUDIENCE, IS A LITTLE BAR, WITH A BARMAN. THERE ARE THREE BEER PULLS, THAT SAY ON THEM, BLOOD, URINE, WATNEYS RESPECTIVELY.
BEHIND HIM THE UPSIDE DOWN SPIRIT BOTTLES, IN THEIR CONTAINERS WITH THEIR SPIRIT DISPENSERS, ARE FULL OF BLOOD: THEY ARE LABELLED:
"O" "OA" "A-" ETC
BARMAN, GRABS AN EMPTY HALF-BEER MUG AND PULLS HIM A PINT OF BLOOD, HANDS IT TO SAMSON.)
Oh, nearly out...
BARMAN
Put another one on Betty.
(WE CUT TO THE TUBES OF THE BEER PULL, ALL RED, AND MIX THROUGH TO ANIMATION, WHERE WE FIND THE PUB'S CELLAR, WHERE SEVERAL PATIENTS ARE LYING GIVING BLOOD. BETTY CONNECTS A NEW ONE.
CONTINUE ON ANIMATION)
Monty Python's Flying Circus - Series 3, Show 13 (18/01/73)
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The animation in question was originally intended to link to 'International Wife Swapping'. In the tx the line "Get in the queue" cuts us straight there. We don't get to see Cleese drink the blood.
i) Great script note here, alluding to the location shooting of 'International Wife Swapping':
Another note refers to the commentary on the wife-swapping film itself - 'THE EXACT LENGTH OF VOICE OVER TO BE ARRANGED AT THE DUB. BUT IT WILL BE SOMETHING LIKE THIS'. In fact the text of the script is pretty much identical to that which accompanies the film. For the Eddie Waring commentary on the rugby match (by Idle), after the initial few lines of Waring, a note says '(SLIGHTLY AD LIB ON THE DUB TO MATCH THE FILM) reverse scissors on Blenkinsop ETC'. That line probably doesn't feature - although who knows, since most of the Waring impression is unintelligible under all the audience laughter anyway.
The credit sequence, described by Python themselves:
And the hotel room scenes were pretty good too. No idea who 'Beulah' is - in the cast list she's simply referred to as 'GIRL'.
j) In the tx of 'Credits Of The Year' the winner of the award, Arthur Briggs (Palin) gets surprised in bed with a man (Cleese) by the Showbiz Awards cameras. The original script has a surprisingly different premise:
Interesting mention of the sequence needing to be shot on film. In the end it was done in the studio - but, as will be mentioned later, as an insert (which still survives in the BBC archives). The cast list in the script suggests that, for this scene, the dummy Princess Margaret wasn't to be present on the Showbiz Awards set (being as she was in bed with Arthur Briggs) yet she's there in the tx so it's doubtful that the idea ever got beyond script stage.
c) In 'Dirty Vicar Sketch' the Reverend Ronald Samms (Jones) originally says "Allo. Allo. Cor what a lovely bit of stuff. I'd like to get my plates of meat around those milkers" (in reference to Caron Gardner's breasts). In the tx "plates of meat" was changed to "fingers". Hardly surprising since 'plates of meat' is cockney rhyming-slang for 'feet' rather than 'hands', and, while this conjures up quite a beautiful mental image, it would probably have added nothing to the basic comic scenario of the... (thud, clang). Also, slightly longer dialogue from Samms as he relapses into his trademark dirtiness:
In the tx this is abbreviated to "particularly the little serving maid with the great big knockers, and..."
k) The tx ends with Dickie's final awkward bit of speech. The script continues with the 'E. Henry Thripshaw' T-shirt announcement over the BBC Globe (which was cut out and dropped into Show 10). After a 'RECORDING BREAK' a note reads 'GO BACK TO PAGE 20'. Unfortunately the copy we're working from doesn't have a page 20 but it was smack in the centre of the disgruntled cricketers talking to Pasolini. A note reads 'PRE-AMP TO CRICKET'.
l) The final sketch in the script is 'Choreographed Party Political Broadcast' (which, as mentioned before, was cut from the end of this show, dropped into the start of Show 12, then cut out again for a repeat, then apparently lost).'
A final note says 'THIS ANIMATION ENDS THE SHOW'. Lovely.
[Many many thanks to Jason Hazeley for
the loan of his copies of the scripts,
which we really should return at
some point, I mean, what's it
been now, three years...?]
47. Insert sequences from Series 3 exist as standalone rushes tapes at the BBC archives.
As anyone who knows SOTCAA well will realise, we bemoan the wiping of original studio rushes of comedy programmes. The rushes of a show, aside from being of great historical interest to future generations can yield great entertainment in their own right and provide plenty of 'unreleased material' for collectors. It's shameful that even now, with DVD releases recognising the selling point of such exclusive footage, producers and performers still seem dismissive of keeping hold of the raw footage.
We set ourselves a poser - in a sea of sniffy bearded dismissiveness and chants of "Oh, it was a long time ago - it'll all be wiped by now...", was it possible that any studio VT rushes of Monty Python's Flying Circus still existed after all these years?
In 1997 we made a few enquiries. Immediately we encountered two contrasting stories. Python office manager Roger Saunders insisted they were all wiped, while the BBC Archives claimed that "some rushes survive" but did not go into any details. Christine Slattery, archivist at the BBC's Windmill Road library, revealed that some Flying Circus out-takes existed in a big pile of unlabelled studio rushes, but that she hadn't "the time or the effort" to process them, and there were no plans for any cataloguing to take place in the future (with rushes being 'editorially sensitive', such cataloguing could only be undertaken by a resident archivist).
It was, however, confirmed by the Python office that a substantial amount of film stock from the series still survives - presumably the original edited pre-filmed footage shown to the audience in a state prior to VT-editing (i.e., without audience laughter, perhaps in a looser edit, and surely boasting unbroadcast or lost material). The film cans (which were due to be junked until someone at the BBC uncharacteristically gave the Pythons the option of owning them) remained unopened in the Python office until 1998. If those original filmy bits were complete then they would surely yield loads of unseen bits and pieces which would thrill fans and collectors.
The Python office later claimed that all this material had been viewed and logged, revealing 'nothing of interest' and 'no unseen sketches'. After a tip off from us, Saunders also contacted the BBC archives and thereafter announced that the rushes material amounts to "little more than some inserts and rehearsal versions of parts of sketches, as such nothing to get excited about".
We sought the support of Dick Fiddy (TV archivist at the National Film Theatre) and Mark Lewisohn (author of The Radio Times Book Of TV Comedy), neither of whom seemed particularly interested or willing to use their influence to research the situation.
We did, however, manage to interest Terry Jones in the idea of showing out-takes as part of BBC2's then up-coming 'Python Night' anniversary evening. He seemed very keen on trawling the archives, and said he was about to meet with producer Elaine Shepherd to discuss the prospect. Jones asked us to 'keep in touch'. Well, we had a go, but to no avail.
As a final plea for hard facts we contacted Elaine Shepherd who did at least confirm that four
Flying Circus studio sequences exist as 'inserts' - i.e., pre-recorded sections taped
prior to the main recording. The sketches - all from Series 3 - are as follows:
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"A few takes of Michael Palin as an ageing Frank Bough"
Presumably the cobweb-strewn Bough at the end of 'Olympic Hide & Seek'(Show 9, 14/12/72). | |
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"John Cleese and Michael Palin in bed together"
Must be Arthur Briggs (and friend), designer of 'The Credits Of The Year', who is woken up at home and told he has won the award.(Show 13, 18/1/73) | |
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"Cleese as a gay major"
Almost certainly Brigadier Farquar Smith, chairman of the "British Well Basically Club"(Show 9, 14/12/72) | |
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"Eric Idle as a Scotsman reading the credits..."
Mr Badger, of course.(Show 9, 14/12/72) | |
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This is the first time anyone has confirmed the existence of specific Flying Circus VT out-takes. So bear that in mind next time some producer fobs you off with the usual 'Oh, it was a long time ago..."' type drivel. They exist!
The fact that these sequences were pre-recorded on VT, rather than film, is unusual for the period (although Series 3 may have seen the inception of the practice). It is also not known when the material was recorded - the main studio recordings for Shows 9 and 13 were recorded a week apart (on 11/05/72 and 18/05/72 respectively), which may explain why the inserts appear together, but it is difficult, without consulting the relevant paperwork, to date the sessions. A likely theory is that they were taped before or after an earlier studio recording (in this case, Show 8 - recorded 04/05/72). Although we have not seen the sequences - we will, if it's the last thing we do...which, knowing the BBC, it probably will be - but we are assuming that they do not feature audience laughter.
The other question, of course, is why these particular instances were pre-recorded. Cleese and Palin in bed and the cobwebbed Bough are obvious, since the studio audience needed to react with surprise to a completed shot (as opposed to watching it laboriously being set up and muttering 'Ho, so they're doing that kind of amusement are they?' under their early-70s breath), but the other two seem somewhat unnecessary. Cleese's brigadier gets repeatedly hit on the head with a large hammer to curtail his campness, but this joke wouldn't necessarily have been spoilt for the audience had they spotted the hammer beforehand (as they did during Show 7's 'The Show So Far' monologue). And with Mr Badger, the fact that we see the huge weight before it drops on him is actually part of the joke. One theory is that moustachioed union rules forbade the use of a huge comedy stage prop while an audience was present. Another, slightly better, theory is that the team were simply making good use of a one-off experiment in pre-recording policy...which explains again why they exist in the same place, and also perhaps why no other such footage has (so far) been found.
[NOTE (1): In the case of Brigadier Arthur Farquar the reason may simply have been for convenience - the item which leads into the sequence is the 'Probe' sketch (with the Idle monologue about bullfighting). And the latter item leads straight on from 'An Evening With The Cheap Laughs' via a glorious scene change which sees Cleese & Cleveland's bedroom set physically tilt upwards to be replaced by Idle's newsdesk. The pre-recorded sequence would have allowed Cleese to have avoided having to rush into a change of costume (and of course for the audience to avoid drumming their fingers). ]
To quote Elaine Shepherd, 'All of these sketches made the final programmes, as far as I know, and the recordings we found were just [sic] the extra takes that were not used.' Precisely how many takes, she didn't say...
The main question, however, is why these clips were not shown as part of Python Night. It continues a regrettable attitude among producers that, as far as comedy is concerned, untransmitted footage of this kind holds no importance per se, and that there is value only in complete sketches (or at least material which can be understood and appreciated as comedy in its own right, independently of the 'hitherto unseen' tag). Why are a few extra takes of Palin as Frank Bough considered "not of interest" to Python fans while a grainy shot of Tom Baker adjusting his scarf while drinking from a BBC cup would be cleaned up, digitally reprocessed and shoved onto a Doctor Who DVD before you could say "Lalla Ward's great big eyes".
It's desperately sad, and it employs a foolish logic too: namely, that - even if one is unmoved by clapperboards, cueings-in, and Cleese coming out of character - the mere fact that these fragments survive raises the possibility that further, more substantial footage may well exist elsewhere. That aside, the 'Oh, they were used in the show anyway' mentality means that we have all been denied the chance to judge for ourselves whether the above inserts are exciting. Which, let's be honest, they bloody are.
Cleese and Palin lying in a comedy BBC bed awaiting their cue to look horrified and pull the sheet over their faces. Just think of it. It exists, people. It's out there...
[NOTE (1): Shepherd also unearthed a schools programme from 1971 featuring 'the Python team on location' and a 1969 news report from BBC Leeds. Neither of these were used. The Holy Grail production footage came from a 1975 edition of Film Night. 'No one expects to find some major Python work buried in the library,' she explained, unaware that she'd already found some.]
[NOTE (2): Elaine Shepherd's Captain Beefheart documentary was great though.]
[NOTE (3): Speaking on a Radio 4 show we have no other info on in 2001 Terry Jones explained just how close the masters of Flying Circus came to being destroyed: ""I'm very surprised that Python has lasted as long as this, partly because of the nature of the programmes, and more so because they were nearly wiped in the early seventies. We were tipped off by a friend in the archive department that they were about to wipe the first series of Python, and we, sort of, clandestinely smuggled the tapes out of the BBC and put them onto Phillips VCR cassettes, which was the only domestic video available at the time, and I had them in my cellar, and for a period of about six months we thought that was going to be the only record of our TV series left. And then what happened was, the BBC suddenly sold the shows in America and so they didn't wipe them, and we were saved by the bell, but it was a very close run thing.".]
48. The second German show,
Monty Python's Fliegende Zirkus, performed in English and broadcast on BBC2 on 06/10/73) featured a performance of the
'Princess With The Wooden Teeth' sketch hitherto issued on
Previous Record. The line
"Because she's a fucking princess, that's why" was bleeped; this was still the case when the show was repeated on BBC2 on 02/04/94, but this was possibly because it was transmitted in a pre-watershed slot. The excellently no-nonsense video release by Guerrilla Films in 1998 (featuring both German shows) leaves the line intact.
[NOTE (1): Some German copies of the above utilise the original English dialogue with German subtitles. In these versions, "fucking princess" is unbleeped. Also, some editions of the first Fliegender Zirkus show omit the entire 'Bavarian Restaurant' sketch. Paramount Comedy have broadcast the first show with subtitles. However, these don't necessarily always correspond with the dialogue: in the Lumberjack Song, for example, the line subtitled as "Just like my dear Papa" is actually (translated into English) "Just like my Uncle Walter". BBC 2's Python Night confirmed this by showing a properly subtitled version of the clip in which the German Lumberjack also reveals that he wants to be a little girl at the end of the song, possibly a reference to the masculine/feminine/little girl gender nouns of the German language.]
[NOTE (2): The second Fliegender Zirkus show is often erroneously sub-titled 'Schnapps With Everything'. However this was never an official title but the heading of an article about the show published in Radio Times in the week it was broadcast in the UK.]
[NOTE (3): Idle's cheesy punchline at the end of the 'Hearing Aid' sketch ("You should see them after a couple of drinks...") ends with him sporting a cigar, Groucho Marx-style, and saying "That's all, folks - only a fairy tale" (which links into 'The Princess With The Wooden Teeth'). When the Paramount Comedy Channel showed the episode as part of its 'Python Weekend' in June 1998, an ad break was scheduled between the two sketches, resulting in the entire Groucho tag being cut and the irony of the "couple of drinks" line completely lost.
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