O ODD MAN SELECTION (n.) Curious social anomaly which allows people to needlessly isolate one member of a unit or group and denounce them as "The Crap One" instead of considering how that group works as a whole. eg "Ringo is the crap one out of the Beatles; "Eric Idle is the crap one out of Python", "Harry Secombe is the crap one out of the Goons", etc. See also BLANDING (v.) Curious media anomaly in which a modern-day unit or group avoid the possibility of ODD MAN SELECTION by ensuring that every member of the line-up is equally crap. ONE GOALPOST IN WEMBLEY STADIUM, THE OTHER ONE IN FUCKING CHAD (pr. n.) To insist that, if you don't expect too much of a comedy show and watch it with an open-mind, not expecting to laugh too much, then... oh, and you have to stand on your head as well... it's quite good, honest. First recorded on the Nuremberg Rallies message board: 'I zink zome of us have been vatching Herr Hitler with ze arms folded, nein? Vell, ich decided not to be cynical zis time as zere ist far too much negativity on zis board, IMHO' (Lenny Riefenstahl's first and only post, 1933) OPINION, 2% Original (n.) The amount of adjectives inserted into any newspaper or listings review which sets it apart from the press release it was copied from. OPINION, The People's 2% Original (n.) The amount of adjectives inserted into any pub conversation or internet newsboard-posting which sets it apart from the newspaper or listings review it was copied from. ORWELLIAN NIGHTMARE (adj.) Paul Merton doing a prop gag on Room 101.    (LC)

	P PADDLING IN THE TIDE OF OPINION (adj.) Descriptive of those annoying little twits who habitually pop up on internet messageboards to defend an overhyped, pleb-friendly comedy show against "negative criticism" while claiming some kind of moral highground because they're "prepared to go against the grain of the sheep-like negative consensus prevalent on this forum", all the time conveniently ignoring the sheep-like industry consensus (which involves about eight-million Comedy Awards and the usual unholy Ross / Lawson / Dessau / Armstrong alliance suckling the show so furiously that its collective teats crumble into fine dust and the thing is now too fat to fucking walk, let alone tell a joke. PAVLOV'S AUDIENCE (n.) A group of people who laugh obediently at the sixth take of a comedy scene in exactly the same way as they laughed at the first take, secure and comfortable in the knowledge that they now fully understand the joke. See also NET, Back Of The PARTY POLITICAL BROADCAST ON BEHALF OF PAUL PISSED, A (n.) A blokey, vaguely Thatcherite rant about television on a talking heads show which includes the phrases 'They've made a lot of money, and good luck to them!' and 'You have to admit, they're very good at what they do'. Usually used to justify giving Ant and Dec yet another Comedy Award. PAUL PISSED (n.) Affectionate term for any man in his late twenties attempting to emulate faux-bohemian media icons in their late fifties by behaving like a boy in his early teens. PEEP SHIT (n.) The bits on the CV of someone who works on 'Peep Show', that aren't 'Peep Show'.    (LC) PHILCLARKE, To (v.) To wilfully or incompetently destroy something of elegance and/or excellence. PLAY MONKEY TENNIS, To (adj.) To isolate the worst part of a comedy show and declare it to be its crowning moment. PLEASED MR. PORTERS (n.) People who crowbar utterly pointless mentions of their alcohol-drinking prowess into an 'opinion', in an attempt to suggest that anyone who even slightly disagrees with them should 'lighten up and have another beer'. PLEB-ME-NOT PREAMBLE, The (n.) Literary device used by TV reviewers when beginning positive reviews of popular prole-feed television, designed to give the impression that they're not just toeing the party line. Usually variations on the phrase "Now, I thought I was gonna hate this... but I didn't... and I'm not going to apologise for that..." PLEB MODERATOR (n.) The person on any media-run internet messageboard employed to affect pretend 'ordinary member of the public' personae and, with a grand mixture of BAZAL THE RAT (qv) and SARAH'S LORE (qv), set out to belittle anyone who attempts to raise the level of discussion above "this is shit" / "this is classic stuff". POPIDOLING (v.) Of stand-up comedians - to assume that they're contractually bound to do a parody/reference to the media fad of the moment. See also: RAYPOPIDLING (v.) - to applaud the above in a studio audience. POST-OFFICE, Get Less From Your (n.) The way people feel they have to talk about comedy since all those press release from The Office made their mark. eg "I just love those Three Stooges shorts - I cringe between my fingers but I'm still laughing!". See also TIMES, Radio PRETTY VACANCY (n.) Of music journalists, etc. An affected air of 'individuality' created by isolating the third most obvious track on a 'classic album' and declaring it its major selling point. PRYORITISING (v.) The pretence of being a lifelong fan of some cool, aloof comedy guru when in fact you grew up watching The Staggering Stories Of Ferdinand de Bargos like everyone else. PSYCHIC OSCARISM (v.) To get opinionated about what films should win The Oscar, despite none of them having been released in this country yet.    (LC) PUB HITLIST (n.) Sweeping negative opinion about a subject engineered more towards gaining a winning reaction from a sycophantic peer group than making a statement about something you actually care about either way. e.g. "I hate all comedy songs apart from Bill Bailey", "David Baddiel has never been funny ever"; That Jim Davidson, eh - what a complete cunt...", etc. See also PUB CHEERS (n.) Sweeping positive opinion about a subject engineered more towards gaining a winning reaction from a sycophantic peer group than making a statement about something you actually care about either way. e.g. "Honestly, I sat cringing through the whole show. Gervais is a genius."; "Back Of The Net, Spiceworld", etc. Easily discernible from a PUB HITLIST in that the participant's packet of Mini Cheddars is now half empty. PULLING A LAZAROU (v.) To cynically re-use a popular character or catchphrase to receive a cheap laugh or round of applause from an audience. See also 'PLAN, Don't You Worry My Lord, I Have A Cunning'

A-B   C-D   E-F   G-H   I-J   K-L   M-N   O-P   Q-R   S-T   U-W   X-Z

© 2000 - 2005 some of the corpses are amusing