And again.

http://www.tonywestents.co.uk/gallery.htm

Let's try that.

For god's sake, this is getting tedious. What am I doing wrong?

http://tonywestents.co.uk/gallery.htm

Ah, f*ck it. It was dead good n'all.

http://www.tonywestents.co.uk/gallery.htm

Rob, you can probably wipe some of these off. Rrrrrrrrrr.

>I'd forgotten The Brothers Lee. They used to do a routine as three Max Walls, didn't they? Priceless.

Were they on the Generation Game all the time? I rememeber the name.

I feel sorry for Bob Carolgees. Oh, how the 'mighty' have fallen :D

> What am I doing wrong?

You're not. Further to his stated concerns about linking to copyright material, Rob appears to have removed the forum's ability to link altogether. We can still cut & paste though. And then if anyone catches us daring to look at a copyright picture we can pin the blame on NotBBC...

(Surely simply linking to a URL which contains a copyright image is the equivalent of saying to someone "Have a look at the picture in this magazine"? If the magazine turns out to have used the picture illegally it doesn't implicate the bloke standing in Smiths showing it to someone, does it?)

From the latest NTK:

http://www.spia.com/THESPANISHWORLD/ (go on, cut and paste it)

appears to forbid any links "to or from" any page. I don't think they have any moral, legal, practical or even religious right to make such a demand, but I think it would be fun if we try and get as many web sites as possible to link to it. It could be a new craze.

I particularly like "Young Entertainer Featuring Vocals & Ukulele", "This Girl Lives to Entertain" & ^The World's Longest Established Two Trumpet Jazz Band" although I think Mr West ran out of adjectives owing to the number of "Classy Magical Illusions" on his books.

By the way, I reckon that Crisco should moonlight as an Einstein looakalike with Susan Scott...

The Brothers Lee... eech. The turned up at a VW camper-van event I was at a couple of years ago... light relief after the UB40 tribute act. Perfect Gen Game/Jim Davidson material, it has to be said. I ran screaming after 7 minutes.

I think Tom Pepper's being pasting URLs on the Tony West site himself - half the links on the page seem to go to his info.

How desperate are you when this is part of your cv? This from the Intimate Duo -

"He produces their own backing tracks and is a competent reader."

He tries, bless his competent magic cotton socks.

You have to read it in the voice of Ken from the Shuttleworths for the full effect.

"Kim Christy - This Girl Lives to Entertain"

Is "Vocaliste" a real word?

>How desperate are you when this is part of your cv? This from the Intimate Duo -
>
>"He produces their own backing tracks and is a competent reader."

Reads music, you big fool.

>Reads music, you big fool.
>
Yes, I worked it out you fool.

Beyond parody:

Clare has been singing and playing the violin since an early age. Although classically trained, she has developed her own style and demonstrates this in her performance.

Mike has been singing and playing the guitar since his early teens. He is a self-taught musician and continues to explore the many different styles and techniques, ranging from Folk, Rock 'n' Roll, Country and Classical.

The pair met whilst acting in the local Amateur Dramatics production of Jack & the Beanstalk, where Clare played a Princess and Mike played the back end of a cow. It was here they discovered a mutual love of music and agreed to form a vocal/instrumental duo.

Commencing by appearing at Social Clubs in the Manchester area, they were very soon receiving enquiries for appearances throughout the Northwest.

Theatre appearances with Hinge & Bracket, Little and Large etc., for Duggie Chapman Productions were incorporated with a most successful season in Cabaret in Spain.

Livewire is possibly the most exciting and talented musical vocal duo to emerge onto the U.K. Entertainment scene for many years.

I know it's cruel, but look at the picture of Bertie Pearce, and notice the way dummy and ventriloquist keep swapping places in your mind. Which is which? We shall never know...

http://www.tonywestents.co.uk/gallery.htm

"Livewire is possibly the most exciting and talented musical vocal duo to emerge onto the U.K. Entertainment scene for many years."

Yeah, that's probably true...

>I know it's cruel, but look at the picture of Bertie Pearce, and notice the way dummy and ventriloquist keep swapping places in your mind. Which is which? We shall never know...

Yes we will - the female is clearly the vent and the pathetic excuse for a dummy is the guy on the right. Christ, one of my kids could have made a better dummy than that. The hair!

"Liam Bray is Phil Collins" Er, no he isn't. Not by a long chalk.

What I also love is the way they use innappropriate capital letters, in the way of a Berni Inn, as if to make what little is being described seem like a lot:
International Recording Artiste, with Outstanding Natural Ability.
One of the most Natural Talents to emerge onto the Northern Club Scene in Many Years.
Succulent Breast of Cheshire Turkey, served with Roast Potatoes and a selection of Seasonal Vegetables

And 'hilarious' is spelt wrong. Hillarious.

I don't think I'll ever get tired of this page. I've just bookmarked it in my favourites. I hope it never changes.

It's just sad that Hinge & Brackett are in this league. I was always a big fan.

"John Evans, Liverpool born and bred, learned his trade in show business as a Butlin's Redcoat. During his three years with Butlin's he emerged as an embryonic stand up comedian"
That can't be nice.

>I know it's cruel, but look at the picture of Bertie Pearce, and notice the way dummy and ventriloquist keep swapping places in your mind. Which is which? We shall never know...

Note they haven't put up his CV yet, as he's still dictating it whilst drinking a glass of milk:

“Gertie Pearce, gorn & gred in Girkenhead, is available for weddings, children's parties & gah mitzvahs. I don't want to go back in the box…”