I confess I shouted "Cheerio!" at the screen when he came on. I am not ashamed.

It was a secret camera. I didn't know I was being filmed. Honest!

Actually, this might sound a bit disingenuous, but I didn't see the show and would be interested to hear what exactly it was I was "used" for.

T'ra

> I didn't see the show and would be interested to hear what exactly it was I was "used" for.

Were you really justifying kiddie porn, or was that just a bit of "judicious" editing?

It was during the Sweeney I think. They should have gotten Jake Thingy in.

I didn't tape it, but - from memory - I think you were saying something along the lines of "Nyahh-na-naa, na-naa-naaa-nah, Diddly doo, diddly doo, blahdi-blahdi-nothing, nothing, nothing, dead air, dead air...blah blah blah bollocks"

I imagine the edit tightened up a lot of what you originally said, mind.

How did they work out the positions? Was any ordinary person allowed to vote?

Amazed to see "Bergerac" at number 4. Although I always secretly liked it, it was looked on by persons who know as incredibly naff. Apparently at the BBC meeting, chaired by Yentob, that finally killed it off, mass cheering broke out when the decision was taken. These revolutionary Young Turks have since gone on to give us such gems of popular, accessible BBC drama as, er...

Couldn't quite work out how Beregerac got in above Hill Street Blues, or NYPD Blue, or even Morse, for god's sake...

The definitions and selections for these programmes are getting more and more erratic. Where does a "detective" end and a "policeman" begin for the purposes of last night's show? Columbo counts, but Morse doesn't, apparently. Er...

Congrats getting on the telly.

>It was during the Sweeney I think. They should have gotten Jake Thingy in.
>
THANK YOU! You're so right. I deliberately didn't watch that bit, as I was sure I'd find it painful. Their bit on Columbo, my other great favourite certainly was, they finished that by showing Billy Connolly in the last one - I've been telling people he was guest murderer in that for two years now. And they had to show William Shatner in it, for kitsch purposes, they wouldn't have included clips of the ones with Patrick McGoohan, Donald Pleasence, Faye Dunaway, Nicol Williamson, John Cassavetes, Honor Blackman, Oskar Werner or anyone like that, or mentioned Spielberg and Jonathan Demme directing episodes, would they? Sneering cretins.

begerac was great, i quite enjoy the music (from the earlier series) it was kind of an accordian reggae thing.

obviously Diagnosis Murder should have been number one.....

Bergerac over Shoestring - a show that knew when to stop? Bloody hell.

>
>obviously Diagnosis Murder should have been number one.....


DvD is playing his own double today, a gangland mafioso bossman! Diagnosis Murder should've been in 'Top Ten Comedy' or 'I Love Nepotism'. The fact that it has been running for 8 years is nothing short of miraculous.

>Bergerac over Shoestring - a show that knew when to stop? Bloody hell.

Eddie Shoestring wasn't a cop, though, was he?

Private detective.

Bergerac was designed as a replacement for Shoestring from some of the same, and was vastly inferior. Sorry, I always dredge this one up whenever Bergerac is mentioned.

Missing word: "some of the same [team]".

>It was during the Sweeney I think. They should have gotten Jake Thingy in.

Actually, it was Juliet Bravo. I asked a question about the Alexei Sayle show pisstake on this very forum not long ago and TJ was kind enough to fill in the gaps in my memory. Of course, they didn't USE that bit!

If anyone particularly wants to hear my "being a talking head" anecdote, you can subscribe to the TV Cream Update via the site itself. It's not very interesting, though, and a bit like a story about fixing someone's plumbing for them.

Cheerio

Steve

never mind eddie shoestring, where was chief wiggum?

tchoh.

Never mind all of this. Did you spot when David Soul said "I loved the 70s . . ." in a link. The first metatextual, nostalgia-telly cross-channel cross-pollination, if I'm not mistaken.

Although he may have just meant the decade, not the programme about the decade. Especially seeing as the programmes were called "I love 1971, 1972..." etc. There was no actual programme called "I Loved The 70s."

>Although he may have just meant the decade, not the programme about the decade. Especially seeing as the programmes were called "I love 1971, 1972..." etc. There was no actual programme called "I Loved The 70s."

Ah but he was only speaking lines written for him, so he didn't actually mean anything. What did the person who wrote the line mean, Mr Collins?

>Ah but he was only speaking lines written for him, so he didn't actually mean anything.

And the person who wrote the lines was only writing them because they're part of a machine that churns out cheap television, so they didn't mean any of it either. So what does any of it mean?

>And the person who wrote the lines was only writing them because they're part of a machine that churns out cheap television, so they didn't mean any of it either. So what does any of it mean?

Perhaps the person that wrote that line was subverting the format by making Mr Soul say a phrase that is almost the name of a series on BBC 2. A human cog in the inhuman machine of cheap television, if you will.

Of course it is ultimately meaningless and futile, but it's only a laugh, no 'arm done!

>Perhaps the person that wrote that line was subverting the format by making Mr Soul say a phrase that is almost the name of a series on BBC 2. A human cog in the inhuman machine of cheap television, if you will.

Yes, well, more of a tragic post-modern cyborg, if you don't mind, reduced to referencing one cheap television show from within another (and getting the name wrong) in order to wrestle a slither of semi-amusement from a mindless mechanical mess.

Nurse!

David Soul and Antonio Fargas both live in London. (Soul in St John's Wood, Fargas probably just on the streets, hustlin')

Thus they're cheap and cheery kitsch presenters, for whom you don't have to pay airfare.

"Thus they're cheap and cheery kitsch presenters, for whom you don't have to pay airfare."

Do they only get work in this country?

Paul Michael Glaser covers for any out-of-blighty retro TV festivals on their behalf. If he's unavailable, Mike D dresses up as Nathan Wind and does the gig in aviators and a gaffer tape beard.

both are my rent boys.

You can't pimp Huggy Bear. That's metapimping.

If a pimp can have a pimp, can a pimp be his own pimp?

>If a pimp can have a pimp, can a pimp be his own pimp?

Ah, but who pimps the...?

Yes? Go on...?

... watchmen?

No, hang on...

I pimp everyone.

My Name is Bill, oh yes.

It's important to pamper a pimp with a bit of pomp.