>Oh, and apparently one of the royals is dead; either Margaret or the Queen Mum. It'll be announced this afternoon apparently.

At the risk of appearing sick, would the death of Margaret be as earth-shatteringly stop evreyone having fun for a couple of weeks dramatic as if it were the QM?

>Oh, and apparently one of the royals is dead; either Margaret or the Queen Mum. It'll be announced this afternoon apparently.

At the risk of appearing sick, would the death of Margaret be as earth-shatteringly stop evreyone having fun for a couple of weeks dramatic as if it were the QM?

>At the risk of appearing sick, would the death of Margaret be as earth-shatteringly stop evreyone having fun for a couple of weeks dramatic as if it were the QM?

No, because she hasn't reached a numerically satisfying age. To the best of my knowledge, you need to either have 3 digits in your age or an eating disorder to be loved to that extent.

As someone in the office has just pointed out, if it's the QM then it's be too early to have the funeral on Saturday, yet by next weekend she'd be getting a bit whiffy, so they can't con us out of an extra holiday ^W^W^W a national day of mourning.

As someone in the office has just pointed out, if it's the QM then it's be too early to have the funeral on Saturday, yet by next weekend she'd be getting a bit whiffy, so they can't con us out of an extra holiday ^W^W^W a national day of mourning.

How do you know this Mike?
Are you a relative? Of Kent?
I think it's pretty likely that the QM is about to kick the bucket as Prince Charles has cancelled a foreign engagement, but surely the news channels wouldn't sit on this if it had already happened?
I prepare to be proven wrong

>How do you know this Mike?
>Are you a relative? Of Kent?
>I think it's pretty likely that the QM is about to kick the bucket as Prince Charles has cancelled a foreign engagement, but surely the news channels wouldn't sit on this if it had already happened?
>I prepare to be proven wrong


Stop avoiding the issue, Herring. You stand accused of vanquishing Christianity in the UK.! How do you plead?

>but surely the news channels wouldn't sit on this if it had already happened?
>I prepare to be proven wrong

Maybe it hasn't been deemed 'of public interest'

well, *I* couldn't give a fuck.

>surely the news channels wouldn't sit on this if it had already happened?
>I prepare to be proven wrong

Well:
- BP tell the major news organisations that QM or whoever is dead
- They put an embargo on the news until BP announce it officially

This is what should have happened for PDs death, only one of the news organisations broke the embargo (forget who!!!)

>How do you know this Mike?
>Are you a relative? Of Kent?
>I think it's pretty likely that the QM is about to kick the bucket as Prince Charles has cancelled a foreign engagement, but surely the news channels wouldn't sit on this if it had already happened?
>I prepare to be proven wrong

Well Rich, several news organisations were 'tipped off' according to my sources (very mundane, don't ask). It could be absolute bollocks, but the pieces do seem to fit.

The last I heard, the BBC was deciding "how to let the public know"; I don't know what decision there is to make anyway. When she shuffles off, TV closes down and is replaced by sombre music and script reading.
Incidentally, I believe the BBC, and presumably other news organisations, can only announce it once the Palace gives the go ahead and release an official statement.

I heard a theory that newly born babies are being drained of their blood in order to keep Ma'am alive; when they run out, it's curtains. I think that's probably untrue though.

If there is even an iota of accuracy in that, then maybe they're making sure she is dead. Don't want no-one jumping the gun. They are probably testing any lifelike responses by setting the corgi's on her, or just poking her with sticks.

>
>well, *I* couldn't give a fuck.
>
Off topic but I've always wondered about the above phrase. I think that "a fuck" is quite a valuable commodity, especially if you don't get many of them (not that I'd know about that, of course, being a veritable jackhammer of love). I can see the point of saying I don't give a shit, but fuck no (do you see what I've done there?).

Back on topic sort of, three people in my workplace, quoting different sources, have said that one of the Royals died today

>>
>>well, *I* couldn't give a fuck.
>>
>Off topic but I've always wondered about the above phrase. I think that "a fuck" is quite a valuable commodity, especially if you don't get many of them (not that I'd know about that, of course, being a veritable jackhammer of love). I can see the point of saying I don't give a shit, but fuck no (do you see what I've done there?).
>
>Back on topic sort of, three people in my workplace, quoting different sources, have said that one of the Royals died today

I work for a big news organisation and have been hearing it all morning.

Which one?
I'm kinda hoping both.
Is that wrong of me?

In my hand count at the end of COAB I found that I had persuaded very few Christians to give up their faith, although around 100 people did claim to believe that I was the new Messiah so maybe I had something to do with it

Someone might be feeling a bit silly later then.

http://www.itn.co.uk/news/20010906/britain/06queenmother.shtml

Ah well. Maybe Princess Marge has expired? Or am I clutching.

To me what makes the story suspicious is the fact that it does not reveal who has died.

Well if no-one's died I'll be highly upset. Maybe they could strangle some Duchess or other to keep me happy.

Apparently I don't get a day's holiday if the QM dies so I really don't care anymore.

No bloody fair!
I knew there was no point in living in bloomin' Scotchland.

I heard the Queen Mum died yesterday. So I think this is all one big lie.

I too am prepared to be very wrong.

>To me what makes the story suspicious is the fact that it does not reveal who has died.

78% certain it's Queen Mum. 20% that it's Margaret.
I've always got 2% saved up for Phillip.

Various journalists at the BBC have been asked to bring in black suits too. One person was wearing one on the One O'Clock News ; and a black(ish) tie.

I know she's dead. One of my mates is in the stock market, and he says the reason why the FUTSE's plumged 100 points is that they're worried they'll close tomorrow, anda mourning nation isn't going to be bothered buying and selling and will send the economy into a tailspin.

Blast! Could they be bluffing?

http://www.reuters.co.uk/news_article.jhtml;jsessionid=IWCOZAFIHV5ZQCRBAEZSFEYKEEATGIWD?type=topnews&StoryID=201998

I've been driving round today and all the
traffic lights seem to be going slower than usual which I heard would happen
when the nation went into mourning, and I have a friend who imports fruit
and they've all been told to cancel their orders of bananas because they're
generally considered too comedy a fruit to have around if we're all supposed
to be sad that the QM has snuffed it - might make us giggle. Plus they look
a bit like penises.

>Blast! Could they be bluffing?
>
>http://www.reuters.co.uk/news_article.jhtml;jsessionid=IWCOZAFIHV5ZQCRBAEZSFEYKEEATGIWD?type=topnews&StoryID=201998

You know, this wouldn't be nearly so creepy if it weren't the second story Reuters have released TODAY about how "well" she is.

Perhaps from now on, to counter the rumours, we're going to have an hourly "Gawd Bless 'Er" bulletin to reassure us that she's alive and well. Then the country can relax and continue to function normally.

My Uncle Dave says she's been dead since about 1962.

He also once got in the papers for seeing a ghost on the way back from the pub.

Oh well, looks as though it was bollocks after all.
Maybe not today; but maybe the day after that.

>Oh well, looks as though it was bollocks after all.
>Maybe not today; but maybe the day after that.

When George VI died, didn't they delay the announcement so that it'd hit the morning papers first? When do the last editions of the evening papers appear, about 5-6ish? Pehaps they'll wait till then.

It'd better be true, I told everyone in the office.

It was the Diana funeral 4 years ago today. I know this because my work was supposed to be going to Alton Towers that day. They ended up opening from midday, and apparently it was great because there was hardly anyone there. I was working though. I've still got the ticket.

You don't know the half of it. If it's the Queen Mum thousands of wartime Lancaster bombers hidden underground will swarm into the air to the strains of the Dambusters March. Every BBC employee will be pressed into ancient bow ties and tails and be forced to read the news in strangulated and hysterical tones. The Composer Royal has been locked in a crypt beneath Westminster Abbey and will not be let out til he's come up with at least twelve miles of funeral dirge. And senescent courtiers and amazingly obscure court officials are being given crash courses on how to walk backwards.

This will go on and on and on.

Fuck the Queen Mum. Christianity's dead.

It must be. I read it on Ceefax.

(Can we expect a celebratory Julian Cope gig?)

Apparently, everyone's been told to wait for an announcement at 5pm.

Can any media scum present here confirm / deny?

>Apparently, everyone's been told to wait for an announcement at 5pm.
>
>Can any media scum present here confirm / deny?

What kind of source is yours, if not media scum?

I've been hearing this since early yesterday morning on various forums and suchlike. Maybe that twat Captain Cyborg from Warwick University is making a bionic endoskeleton to make it appear that she's still alive? If he fails then they'll have to announce it. The thing is that his local Tandy is closed for staff training.....

....DUN DUN DERRRRRRRRR!

Well, it's gone 5 now. I can't hang around the office waiting for elderly royals (gawd bless 'em) to croak. I'm off home. Perhaps they'll announce it while I'm in the car.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/010906/80/c36qr.html

So this is what the rumours are *really* all about...

In the absence of a real royal demise, they're promoting Kate Moss to Centre Forward position, and will be declaring a national bedside vigil forthwith...