What will all those kilt shop owners do now?
Probably sell hard drugs that's what.
Face it aspirin's hard, you try and break one with your fingers, its hard. HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAY"

What will all those kilt shop owners do now?
Probably sell hard drugs that's what.
Face it aspirin's hard, you try and break one with your fingers, its hard. HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAY"

>What will all those kilt shop owners do now?
>Probably sell hard drugs that's what.
>Face it aspirin's hard, you try and break one with your fingers, its hard.
>
Come on everyone knows we're meant to say "Well done Scotland, you try your best" in that smug english way only the...er english can do.
>

>>What will all those kilt shop owners do now?
>>Probably sell hard drugs that's what.
>>Face it aspirin's hard, you try and break one with your fingers, its hard.
>>
>Come on everyone knows we're meant to say "Well done Scotland, you try your best" in that smug english way only the...er english can do.

Shouldn't you all be crowding around Owen's hard cock?

Love to but your mum's hogging it.

Well at least we're responsible for our successes/failures and don't rely on those expensive foreign imports that are running your game.

;)

>Love to but your mum's hogging it.

Yep. Score an international hat-trick and lose your virginity. Written into his Liverpool contract.

>Well at least we're responsible for our successes/failures and don't rely on those expensive foreign imports that are running your game.

So Sven's grandmother is from Clapham?

>;)

Yes.
>

All together now........

What do you call a Scotsman in the second round of the world cup?


A referee

Why are you laughing at the beeb?

>HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAYHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaBBCMONDAY"

I think it's a great shame Scotland aren't going to the World Cup if only for the fact that they're so entertaining when they get there...Peru, Costa Rica, Morocco...

Oh well. Fingers crossed for Ecuador tonight.

The most amusing 'Scotland fail' moment was during Euro '96 when England took a 4-0 lead against Holland - a margin which would have taken the Scots through to the Second Round on Goal Difference. Realising this, England promptly conceded a goal and passed the ball to each other in their own half for the last 20 minutes, while Scotland inevitably failed to score any more goals themselves and were cruelly knocked out at the first hurdle once more. So near and yet so comically far.

The most amusing 'England fail' moment was:

Norway v England (Maggie thatcher! Your Lord Nelson, Your Winston Churchill, etc).

The Graham Taylor documentary. His instructions to Nigel Clough – brilliant stuff.

Graham Taylor running after the linesman after Holland's Ronald Koeman escaped being sent off and promptly whacked in a free kick. “Linesman, you've cost me my job!”

The quickest goal in international football taking the wind out of the sails pretty quickly, scored by San Marino!

1986 – the Hand of God moment. And then to rub it in a wee fat coke fiend runs the length of the pitch like in Roy of the Rovers, gets fouled in the box, stays on his feet and slots the ball away.

1990 - one of your players gets booked, and in the best Bulldog team spirit - cries like a baby.

Every penalty shoot out involving Gareth Southgate, Chris Waddle, Stuart Pearce.

Euro 1996 - despite playing every game at Wembley, (a la 1966) still managing to lose to the Germans.

1973 - that "clown" Polish goalie putting you out.

John Barnes' fashion sense

Chris Waddle/Glenn Hoddle on Top of the Pops.

David Seaman's hair.

The tolerance shown to Glenn Hoddle when he expressed a mildly controversial statement about nothing to do with football and promptly lost his job because the Prime Minister said he should.

The hype that starts up everytime an England manager does reasonably well, (Venables, Hoddle, Keegan, Erikkson) and which is followed by vicious recriminations when they don't win the World Cup.

The looks on the faces of Baddiel and Skinner at Wembley after Germany put England out of Euro 96, when the Germans were singing “It's coming home”

Oh, and who can forget the reaction to David Beckham's petulance on the ground against Argentina in 1998!

Geoff Thomas' "chip" that went out for a throw in. that was pretty good.

no, i just can't make up my mind which one to plump for.

So many golden memories...

People often forget something about Euro 96, everyone blames Southgate for missing the penlty, when in fact it was Gazza being a fat knacker and falling over instead of putting the ball into the open goal which lost us the game, if he'd scored we'd have one.

But of course the fat drunken wife beater is a hero so you can't have a go at him

>The most amusing 'England fail' moment was:
>
>Norway v England (Maggie thatcher! Your Lord Nelson, Your Winston Churchill, etc).
>
Yeah, and we still qualified for Spain 82, got further than Scotland, and were knocked out despite being unbeaten.
>The Graham Taylor documentary. His instructions to Nigel Clough – brilliant stuff.
> England's greatest gift to the world of comedy!
>Graham Taylor running after the linesman after Holland's Ronald Koeman escaped being sent off and promptly whacked in a free kick. “Linesman, you've cost me my job!”
>
The ref was German.
>The quickest goal in international football taking the wind out of the sails pretty quickly, scored by San Marino!
>
A game we won 7-1.

>1986 – the Hand of God moment. And then to rub it in a wee fat coke fiend runs the length of the pitch like in Roy of the Rovers, gets fouled in the box, stays on his feet and slots the ball away.
>
Argentina could only beat us by cheating. Scots knocked out in 1st round.

>1990 - one of your players gets booked, and in the best Bulldog team spirit - cries like a baby.
>
Ah yes, the semi-final of the World Cup 1990. Scots knocked out in 1st Round. Lost to Costa Rica.

>Every penalty shoot out involving Gareth Southgate, Chris Waddle, Stuart Pearce.
>
How many have Scotland been involved in?

>Euro 1996 - despite playing every game at Wembley, (a la 1966) still managing to lose to the Germans.
>
Scotland knocked out first round. Lost 2-0 to England and missed a penalty.

>1973 - that "clown" Polish goalie putting you out.
>
>John Barnes' fashion sense
>
>Chris Waddle/Glenn Hoddle on Top of the Pops.
>
>David Seaman's hair.
>
>The tolerance shown to Glenn Hoddle when he expressed a mildly controversial statement about nothing to do with football and promptly lost his job because the Prime Minister said he should.
>
It'a a fair cop!

>The hype that starts up everytime an England manager does reasonably well, (Venables, Hoddle, Keegan, Erikkson) and which is followed by vicious recriminations when they don't win the World Cup.
>
The bitter recriminations after Scotland fail to qualify for a World Cup, and calling for manager to be sacked, despite doing a great job with limited resources.

>The looks on the faces of Baddiel and Skinner at Wembley after Germany put England out of Euro 96, when the Germans were singing “It's coming home”
>
Ah yes, the semi-final again.

>Oh, and who can forget the reaction to David Beckham's petulance on the ground against Argentina in 1998!
>
Scotland knocked out in first round. Lost to Morocco.

>Geoff Thomas' "chip" that went out for a throw in. that was pretty good.
>
True, that was hysterical!

>no, i just can't make up my mind which one to plump for.

How about England 9 Scotland 3 from 1963?