Tom Wolfe, in The New Journalism, written ages ago* said that, because of decreasing attention spans and the increasing celebrity and import of journalists, novels would soon die out to be replaced by magazine articles disguised as novels.
Full marks, Mr W.
*(bad research, Butler, go and have a look, you bone idle wastrel.)
They should stop producing new novels, we should all be made to reread Swallows and Amazons!
Long live Ransome's Books!
See, even at 16 I can be nostalgic.
Football Boots: By A Real Football Fan:
I've always loved the game. Played a bit in my time too. Semi-professional I was. I was more into the rucking than the game – that's what got me banned. That and the coke and the birds and the constant missing training. Who wants to be running around a cold field when you got a nice warm bed with a nice warm bird in it? At the moment I've got two on the go. One's a hairdresser (Tracy) and the other's a topless model (Erica). I go out with Erica to impress people (I wear her like an expensive watch) and I go out with Tracy for sex (she really does know how to do the business. She sucks so hard sometimes I swear my eyeball recede). Trouble is both of them want me to make a commitment to them. I don't 'do' commitment. I won't do it for the manger and I won't do it for the team and I certainly won't do it for either Erica or Julie. My mum says I'm hard. Hard! She doesn't know how hard I am. I'm hard enough to carry a knife - and I'd use it. Make no mistake about that. If it's a choice between me and the other guy, the other guy gets it all the time. Stroppy what's the teachers called me. The doctors called me retard. I don't know maybe I'm just fucked up. Maybe it's not me that's fucked up. Maybe it's the whole system - I don't really dwell on this much cos I'm mainly interested in football.
I'm meeting Terry in the pub. He's late as usual. I don't know how many times I've said to him: “Christ Terry why don't you just kick some cunt in and take his watch. That's how I got mine.” That's Terry for you. Thick as shit but the man's got a heart of gold. Do anything for you – well expect let you take his sister out. That reminds me. I'll have to phone her about tonight. See if she wants to go clubbing.
Helen Fielding really writes like *that*?
I've never read a 'chick-lit' book. The covers put me off. Why do they think all women want to read books with garish pink covers, iceing-like electric blue writing and pretty boy and girl cut-outs set at a strange angle ?
Also from what I've been told me my life bears no resemblance to anything written by Helen Fielding, Jenny Colgan etc. Personally if you want to read good books written by women for women you can't go wrong with Margaret Atwood.
William Donaldson.
If only more people knew about him and his stuff, then no doubt Amazon wouldn't be setting me back nineteen quid every time he publishes something new, which I have to buy from them as you can't find it anywhere else.
Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit is a damn good book.
Don't read books. The printing press is the nasal-hair remover of Diabolos.
Blasphemer
I love books. I'm reading this weird book about Kabbalists in 14th century Portugal. I wish I had a deeper reason for buying the book than I liked the cover but I don't.
I'm reading "The Unnamable" by Sam Beckett, and it's not very jolly at all.
>I've never read a 'chick-lit' book. The covers put me off. Why do they think all women want to read books with garish pink covers, iceing-like electric blue writing and pretty boy and girl cut-outs set at a strange angle ?
>
>Also from what I've been told me my life bears no resemblance to anything written by Helen Fielding, Jenny Colgan etc. Personally if you want to read good books written by women for women you can't go wrong with Margaret Atwood.
I bow down at yor feet laydee, Margaret Atwwod is superb, my copy of Cats Eye is battered to bits, and sadly, I have misplaced my 'Handmaids Tale'. Helen Fielding et al., have set back women by 20 odd years, thick bitches!
And Gee, yes, O.A.N.T.O.F is top, does your book fall open automatically at certain pages too? Tsk!
You can't fully call yourself a literate lady unless you've read some Hilary Mantel. Got to be done.