Write down everything you're interested in. Everything. Then start narrowing it down based on jobs in those areas you really don't want to end up doing. Then right to related companies and see what they're looking for.

Or become a freelance writer.

You may not be able to get what you see as "decent jobs" straight after graduation. In my experience, employers value some work experience as well, so taking a reasonably responsible, customer-focused job with a well-known company may pay off later on.

Also, getting some professional help with your CV (perhaps through an employment agency) is a good idea. Getting a job is mainly a matter of presentation.

Good luck, it's tough out there!

>Also, getting some professional help with your CV (perhaps through an employment agency) is a good idea. Getting a job is mainly a matter of presentation.
>
>Good luck, it's tough out there!
>

Become a postman for a bit then sell your soul to IBM or some such thing. It worked for my mate.

Whatever you do, do *not* listen to careers officers! (Unless you want to become a careers officer).

>Whatever you do, do *not* listen to careers officers! (Unless you want to become a careers officer).

You could become a teacher, come on that programme with Egg from This Life said teaching was cool.

I fondly remember the advice my careers officer gave me.

CO "What are your interests?"
Me "Art and English."
CO "Have you considered hotel catering?"

Twats, all of them

Excuse me, but since RHC doesn't get her GCSE results until next week, why is she offering career advice?

Try stand-up comedy. I didn't. Couldn't think of anything funny to say, you see. I realised too late that you didn't need to.

>Excuse me, but since RHC doesn't get her GCSE results until next week, why is she offering career advice?

I get them tomorrow. And I've filled in career form after form after form. (All revealing I should be a deep sea diver apparently).

ta. and good luck!

>ta. and good luck!

Feel free to pray for me. :)

>Also, getting some professional help with your CV (perhaps through an employment agency) is a good idea. Getting a job is mainly a matter of presentation.
>
>Good luck, it's tough out there!
>

Forgive me if I'm missing something here, but if you've got a degree and need help constructing a CV you shouldn't have a degree in the first place, or maybe I'm wrong.

CV's hey – I once bungee jumped for charity (I fired elastic bands at my foot for £1 every twang). I program vending machines (meaning I inserted 40p then pressed 1-2 and crisps came out).

And so on.

>Forgive me if I'm missing something here, but if you've got a degree and need help constructing a CV you shouldn't have a degree in the first place, or maybe I'm wrong.

terrible isn't it.

Depends what the degree's in.

As an English Graduate, I scraped out a meagre existence on the dole for a year, getting increasingly depressed and unable to find any sort of gainful employment, or enthusiasm for life. I then carried on getting more and more miserable and ill for a while, losing myself in a series of messy bad-sex incidents. Eventually, I couldn't even afford to drink and fell into a spiral of despair ending up lying in a layby on The Isle Of Dogs waiting for a bus to pull in over me.

That seemed to work for a good couple of years. Give it a go.

Couldn't agree more. If you waltz straight from college into a plush little job with holidays and pensions and people being nice to you and stuff, you'll turn into a smug self-satisfied wanker.

You need to spend a couple of years experiencing the misery of graft, preferably of a physical nature, to truly appreciate life. I can recommend becoming a hospital porter - a heady mixture of death, bodily fluids, ungrateful patients, and the realisation that nurses are merely bitter gruesome cockscrubbers who'll do anything to sleep with a consultant.

>Couldn't agree more. If you waltz straight from college into a plush little job with holidays and pensions and people being nice to you and stuff, you'll turn into a smug self-satisfied wanker.
>
>You need to spend a couple of years experiencing the misery of graft, preferably of a physical nature, to truly appreciate life. I can recommend becoming a hospital porter - a heady mixture of death, bodily fluids, ungrateful patients, and the realisation that nurses are merely bitter gruesome cockscrubbers who'll do anything to sleep with a consultant.

*All* nurses? You're the self-satisfied one after writing that narrow-minded paragraph.

Suck up to everyone in the media by never disagreeing with their opinions. Find one or two cool people to latch onto and hang around with, then follow them to their favourite bars and laugh at their jokes. Be prepared to ditch them before they cease to be cool. Shit on everyone who's coming up behind you and make sure your name is well-known in "the circuit" so that more people will talk about you than have actually met you. Lig at celebrity parties and surround yourself with beautiful teen wannabe TV presenters. Remember to stay "on message" at all times, especially when the message changes. Claim responsibility for successes and subtly suggest that others are responsible for failure. Steal, plagiarise, appropriate and adapt. Don't present any challenging thoughts or concepts. Be popular and populist. Reduce everything to soundbites. Have one solid idea and keep it to yourself until you can milk it for everything it's worth.

Cheerio

>Couldn't agree more. If you waltz straight from college into a plush little job with holidays and pensions and people being nice to you and stuff, you'll turn into a smug self-satisfied wanker.

I wouldn't say I'm smug or self-satisfied. I certainly am a wanker though.
My Mum's a nurse (now retired), but I won't go getting offended by a bit of harmless internet post.

Harmless internet post, eh? I seem to remember the 11ocs calling nurses "fucking pigs" on one of their hilarious shows. And now hemidemisemiderm is calling them all "gruesome" and "cockscrubbers". Oh my cunting sides.

Stick to slagging off smug media wankers, for Christ's sake. Oh hello Steve.

Let me put it another way.
I won't go admitting to being offended by it.
If there was real malice in it then he's probably had a bad experience or two and inherent simplicity has given rise to rage.

But isn't it interesting that when someone slags off the work of a comedian, they get a huge amount of flak in return, and a "You're just bitter and angry"-type ripostes. Whereas personal comments about a profession where people work damn fucking hard during years training and shifts verging on the mad for very little dosh are supposed to be ignored or accepted. I see where the world is heading now....

And as I've said before, I find rage amusing at times (see Gervaise is a cunt thread).
Abort contradiction overload.

>But isn't it interesting that when someone slags off the work of a comedian, they get a huge amount of flak in return, and a "You're just bitter and angry"-type ripostes. Whereas personal comments about a profession where people work damn fucking hard during years training and shifts verging on the mad for very little dosh are supposed to be ignored or accepted. I see where the world is heading now....

This is a strange one for me, because my Mum was a nurse. I don't want to try and come off as someone who never makes cuntish comments to try and be funny. I can be a right dick.
In all honesty though, I have respect for anyone who does real work for a living.

Jesus Christ! If we follow this line of thinking through to its logical conclusion we'd never make jokes about any profession, or person, or thing. A flippant comment focusing on the worst elements of something the guy's experienced, and you're getting arsey about it? For fucks sake grow up.

Well, I was trying to avoid that line of thinking. I agree that most things are fair game and I'd be surprised if the person who made the comment about nurses actually thinks that. Fuck it, I've worked in a mental home and made jokes about the patients so I really am a cunt. And I like it.

Most comedians are careerist bastards with no ideas or originality, are in it for shags, and have nothing amusing to say. They are all stupid cunts, mostly from Oxbridge, and will literally do anything to get their own TV show.

Obviously, that was a flippant comment, which lets me off the hook, right?

Well, I actually believe your flippant comment to be fact, so there's no hook involved. Nicely put as well.

Nurses are also in it for the shags.

and, speaking from experience, the free drugs

"As an English Graduate, I scraped out a meagre existence on the dole for a year, getting increasingly depressed and unable to find any sort of gainful employment, or enthusiasm for life. I then carried on getting more and more miserable and ill for a while, losing myself in a series of messy bad-sex incidents. Eventually, I couldn't even afford to drink and fell into a spiral of despair ending up lying in a layby on The Isle Of Dogs waiting for a bus to pull in over me."

28 years old, he was by then!

My mother was also a nurse. And she was avery nice lady, who, to the best of my knowledge, never slept with a consultant. So yes, it was a sweeping generalisation, but I was aware of that already, thanks.

However, I speak from experience. The majority of nurses in the hospital I worked in specialised in venting their (usually quite petty) frustrations on the nearest lackey they could get their hands on, be it porter or kitchen staff, and when they couldn't do that they tended to take it out on patients. Yeah, it was a private hospital, and most of the patients were there for ingrowing toenails or to get away from their wives, and so my experience probably isn't representative of nurses on the NHS. However, the point of my original post wasn't so much to diss nurses, but to highlight my disappointment that very few of them are Florence Nightingales. Should have made that clearer before, I guess.

Directionless? Aimless? Drinking too much?
Find yourself still wanting to milk the stude lifestyle for all youre worth, despite the fact that youre not actually a student anymore? Got a degree in absolutely anything, and youve not got a woodenwanking clue what to do with it?


Then become an EFL teacher.

This is the best advice in the world.

My mum is a nurse and my dad is a consultant. But I've just aksed, and dad says mum isn't really gagging for it all the time. Just on Tuesday.


If you want a job, then do a vocational postgrad. You'll learn nothing, but the employment rate is usually very high. You should try to be a citizen of Ulster when you do this, as you can still get grants for postgraduate study there.

Anyway, I hope RHC got the grades she wants for whatever she wants to do...

What is an EFL teacher?

>What is an EFL teacher?

I feel almost forced to make some comment about Pixies with learning difficulties.

Go on next years Big Brother or another popular reality show

>Anyway, I hope RHC got the grades she wants for whatever she wants to do...

Yes! I did want to be a cab driver!

Well you need to see to be a cab driver :) and drive obviously so don't get your hopes up

Apparently some women make lots of money lying on their backs all day. I'm off to the career centre to find out more. :)

>i finished my degree about two months ago but i haven't any idea what i want to do or how to start looking. suggestions?
>
oh you can't kneel anymore!? :( well there goes one of my choices in January

"Yes! I did want to be a cab driver!"

Like Fred Housego, the intellectual, "Mastermind"-winning cab-driver...?

>Stick to slagging off smug media wankers, for Christ's sake. Oh hello Steve.

Hi, Justin. How's it going?

>i finished my degree about two months ago but i haven't any idea what i want to do or how to start looking. suggestions?
>

Top yourself.

>>Also, getting some professional help with your CV (perhaps through an employment agency) is a good idea. Getting a job is mainly a matter of presentation.
>>
>>Good luck, it's tough out there!
>>
>

Shit! I laughed out loud!

There goes my feeling of detatched superiority.

P.S. Don't ever get a job doing something you find interesting. You'll stop finding it interesting. Then where'll you be? Fucked, that's where.
>Forgive me if I'm missing something here, but if you've got a degree and need help constructing a CV you shouldn't have a degree in the first place, or maybe I'm wrong.
>
>CV's hey – I once bungee jumped for charity (I fired elastic bands at my foot for £1 every twang). I program vending machines (meaning I inserted 40p then pressed 1-2 and crisps came out).
>
>And so on.
>
>
>

When I was in the fifth form (year 11, modernists), the careers service were sorting us all out with a fortnnight's work experience in an appropriate environment. They asked what I wanted to do and I said I'd like to work in television.

That fortnight in Curry's didn't half help.

(True, by the way).