Listen to Me Posted Sat Aug 11 00:11:28 BST 2001 by 'Noel Edmonds'

Being a regular visitor to this brilliant site, I cannot for the life of me understand why nothing has been mentioned about me and my legendary television programme of the 90's, 'Noel's House Party'. Not only was it the most original, groundbreaking and not to mention intellectually stimulating programme of the last forty years but it also starred me: the funniest man of his generation (Even if I do say so myself).

Not being one to boast, as I sit here writing this in my £50 million mansion, I will not go into any detail as to why 'House Party' was such a fantastic hit with the viewers (Regularly topping the Saturday TV charts during its five-year run). I would, however, like to point out the sheer breathtaking genius that lay behind the show's conception. The show's writers, producers, directors and behind the scenes crew are irrelevant. What was in fact the single most important element of the show was the man who fronted it. The man who would never be so shallow as to boast of his own genius. The man who took all the most juvenile elements of children's TV and somehow managed to mould them into a show for adults (Hence the Saturday evening, rather than morning, timeslot). If that isn't genius then I have no idea what the word means.

Ladies and gentlemen, the man who achieved all this was yours truly.

It was me, not anybody else, who was the creator of the legendary Mr Blobby and took him to the top of the music charts. It was I who dreamed up the endlessly hilarious Gotcha Oscars, which employed the brilliantly original idea of using hidden cameras to make celebrities look daft. It was myself who created the superb NTV, which employed the brilliantly original idea of using hidden cameras to make members of the public look daft.

So, please, ladies and gentlemen can we all now have a bit more respect and give credit where credit is due? Please mention me on this message board a bit more frequently, because when I'm gone you'll be sorry that you didn't.

Well, I think that's about it. I'm off now to enjoy a horseback ride around my 850-acre garden. Tally-Ho!

Noel

PS, don't forget to purchase my brand new autobiography, 'Noel – the genius within', available from Amazon.com and all good bookshops, all proceeds from which will go directly into my bank account.



Subject: What a lot of effort.... [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Paul Kelly' on Sat Aug 11 00:19:02 BST 2001:

...put into something not even lukefunny.

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Anonymous' on Sat Aug 11 00:23:09 BST 2001:

Yes well done Noel, you've managed to continue your fine tradition as a subject for other people's comedy.

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Dr. Hackenbush on Sat Aug 11 00:31:13 BST 2001:

Ironically, it has been mentioned - rushes of NHP have been alluded to by The Corpses. I can't be arsed to find the exact URL since no-one else ever can.

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Cybersex King' on Sat Aug 11 01:11:19 BST 2001:

>...put into something not even lukefunny.

Not funny but you actually read it all the way through AND added a comment, Paul you motherfucking P-R-I-C-K.

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'R P Mac8Aceey' on Sat Aug 11 01:38:31 BST 2001:

But he tried, didn't he? At least he did that.

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By '6ft wasp' on Sat Aug 11 02:10:44 BST 2001:

i enjoyed Noel's House Party at its peak...well alright, not enjoyed....tolerated willfully...which gives me an idea...

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'ollie' on Sat Aug 11 03:43:23 BST 2001:

>But he tried, didn't he? At least he did that.

he tried and he failed, the lesson is, don't try.

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'CAnDY teAbg assuMptioN' on Sat Aug 11 04:43:50 BST 2001:

>>But he tried, didn't he? At least he did that.
>
>he tried and he failed, the lesson is, don't try.
>

i havent got time to try. im always on the net

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'The pathetic shark' on Sat Aug 11 11:46:34 BST 2001:

Yep, that is exactly the lesson Ollie, which is a shame. Unless you're doing a Homer Simpson bit in which case I'm being needlessly po-faced.

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Porn Master' on Sat Aug 11 19:26:02 BST 2001:

>>But he tried, didn't he? At least he did that.
>
>he tried and he failed, the lesson is, don't try.

No, the lesson is: Olli you know fuck all about anything so shut up.

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'ollie' on Sun Aug 12 01:00:48 BST 2001:

>Yep, that is exactly the lesson Ollie, which is a shame. Unless you're doing a Homer Simpson bit in which case I'm being needlessly po-faced.

i'm always doing a homer simpson bit.

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Teenwolf' on Sun Aug 12 01:20:41 BST 2001:

My fave Edmonds show was Lucky Numbers.

Not so lucky was the elephant that Edmonds murdered with his bare hands. And he shot Clive Anderson.

Wrrrgh

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By '8Ace' on Sun Aug 12 10:27:20 BST 2001:

Deliberately?

Subject: Re: Listen to Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Enhanced Boycie' on Mon Aug 13 08:31:35 BST 2001:


>Not so lucky was the elephant that Edmonds murdered with his bare hands. And he shot Clive Anderson.

No!

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