I was just wondering that. It's always intriguing when a couple "team up" to do something sexually diabolical, don't you think?

I'd advise the police to dig up the Hamilton's front lawn. It's probably full of local waifs and strays with semen in their mouths.

Comedy relevance... Stanley Baxter would make a great Christine Hamilton when they get round to the musical. Or David Warner, judging by that photo.

I like the concept of being arrested "by appointment".

"Hello, I'd like to make an appointment to be arrested please. Serious sexual assault, yes, that's fine."

Update:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/uk/newsid_1485000/1485136.stm

Hoo boy. Louis Theroux.


Bet he thinks all his birthdays just came at once...

They'd have no qualms about doing a Louis Theroux programme. They're such sickening publicity junkies, did you see the smug martyred looks on their faces when they were slowly strolling along surrounded by photographers? They were loving it. I wouldn't be surprised if they planted the story themselves, and deliberately downloaded lots of child porn so the police would find it on their computer and they would be as famous as Gary Glitter and the one from the Bay City Rollers.

It gets even more bizarre when you read the statement from their lawyer which is pretty graphic to say the least. See below:

Their full statement

THE solicitor representing Neil and Christine Hamilton said that the couple denied all allegations against them. Michael Coleman stated:

"This afternoon Mr and Mrs Hamilton, by arrangement with the police, were arrested. This arrangement was made two weeks ago.

"An accusation has been made against them that they took part in the rape and indecent assault of a woman in Ilford on Saturday, 5 May.

"The details of that allegation are quite horrific and I think it's appropriate you know of the allegation.

"It is said that Mr and Mrs Hamilton were in a flat in Ilford when a young woman was raped.

"While she was raped it is also said that Mr Hamilton was masturbating on to her whilst another man, as yet unidentified by the police, was also masturbating on to her and Mrs Hamilton was squatting on her face.

"This allegation has been denied absolutely by Mr and Mrs Hamilton.

"They have co-operated entirely with the police investigation and have supplied details of their whereabouts throughout that day and throughout the evening.

"They have also given the police total access to all of their private affairs, their telephone records, their credit card records and such like in order that the police can thoroughly investigate the allegation that has been made against them.

"One point which came out in the course of their interview, which is probably appropriate for you to know, is that the police raised the name Max Clifford.

"The purpose of the police raising that name we don't know but it's a matter which the police may wish to enlarge upon at a later stage.

"Mr and Mrs Hamilton have been released by the police and will be liaising with them over the next few weeks as to whether the police wish to carry out any further interviews with them.

"No charges have been made against any person and certainly no charges have been made against Mr or Mrs Hamilton."

Just how desperate are they for publicity?

>"While she was raped it is also said that Mr Hamilton was masturbating on to her whilst another man, as yet unidentified by the police, was also masturbating on to her and Mrs Hamilton was squatting on her face.

Ahh, the old classic, page 53 of the Joy of Sex: "The Hamilton's Excuse-me."

It is further alleged that Mrs Hamilton held a photograph of David Gray between her legs and rubbed vigorously, whilst Mr Hamilton pushed a tube of Smarties up his arse and said "I'm off down the youth club."

Also, that Mrs Hamilton pour cooking oil over the banisters and then stripped off her clothes and slid down them, shrieking with pleasure, while Mr Hamilton forced the woman to "interview" him as if on a chat show, and pulled that stupid face he always pulls.

It goes without saying that these allegations are monstrous fabrications.

Also that the woman was made to wear a Martin Bell mask and to ask Mrs Hamilton for a dance and be turned down contemptuously, and then watch as she danced with Mr Hamilton in an alluring way.

The Hamiltons - i wish they would fuck off. And what is Louis Theroux doing giving them even more publicity? Daft sod.

Chances of them appearing in the next Heineken advert?

I'll give you 4-1 on that - I wouldn't put anything past them after seeing a trailer for an old C4 Saturday night clipathon - Top 10 Sleaze, or some such. Lots of shots of the 'miltons whipping each other (playfully) in leather, with the words "sleaze" flashing on top in case you didn't get the point. Truly scary, and clearly the work of publicity mad deviants.

Disappointingly, it now seems that the woman involved has only pointed the finger at the Hamiltons because she got a rude picture in an email from someone calling themselves "Lady Hamilton," so it's probably a joke about Nelson's mistress:

http://btr0xw.rz.uni-bayreuth.de/cjackson/r/romney2.jpg

But unfortunately, no one involved in the case seems to have realised this.

The allegations are "nonsense on stilts", claims Christine Hamilton. "If they charge us, I'm a banana."

Without wishing to trivialise what could be a serious criminal offence, it would be something to see on Crimewatch. Shadowy figures with Hamilton-like hair pieces whacking off. Lady Hamilton urging Neil when to shoot his load. "Not now, Neil, when I give the order"

Is this story a result of Louis Theroux watching too much Brass Eye? It is utterly bizarre.