We use Amiplan at my place of bondage, (http://www.youcanworkthisoutforyourself.com) which is unfortunately useless, unless you have an unhealthy interest in "celebrity" PR announcements.

Alternatively, whatsonwhen.co.uk is quite useful...

Very useful, thanks for the info.

Bloody Hell, that was a dull thread.

Renee, darling, light of my life - I'm not gonna hurtcha. I'm just gonna bash your brains in. Bash 'em right the fuck in Renee. Renee? Renee. Stop swingin' the bat, Renee...

Surely dull no longer now that I've just treated you to an impromptu Jack Nicholson impression, huh? Duller, you say?

Piss off.

Bloody Hell. What a sensitive forum poster.

(And what a piss-poor Jack Nicholson impressionation. Didnt get the voice right at all.
Tell you what. Ill do you my Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver impression.....

"Heres a Kris Kristofferson album, missus. Fancy coming watching a porno fillum with me?"
Hows that?)

Hey, I'm a sensitive fella. Dissing the Jack Nicholson impression, that's just not on. I do a better Travis Bickle than you too.

"Are you talking..to me? You must be talking to me! I'm the only one here!"

Guess you feel pre-tty stupid now Ren.

Right then, matey. Ill do my Harvey Keitel in Taxi Driver impression, then ....

(Turns round and ruffles hair, just like what Mike Yarwood used to do, then turns back again)

(mimes throwing a cigarette at Bobby DeNs chest)

"Go on, bugger off. Get out of it. Scarper.(turns round to imaginary director)You sure you dont want me to get the old boy out, Marty?"

....How does that grab you?

It's a fair cop guv. I know when I'm beat. Who could compete with that kind of range?

Unless...

"Ooh Betty! The cat's done a whoopsie in me beret!"

Get outta here, you kooky kid you.

Or hows about Jack Nicholson again in "One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest"?

(Goes to conveniently placed box of props. Has a birrova rummage around, finds appropriate props, and comes back with comedy stick on raised eyebrows, and black woolen hat)

"That blokes a nutter!"

Or, how about Meryl Streep as the Swedish Chef?

(Moves towards prop box. Stops halfway)

Er....this is a bit inane,isnt it?

It is a bit inane, but I think we can rescue it for anyone who's glanced disinterestedly at this thread, their jaded cynicism giving way to genuine irritation as they find themselves soaking up desperately unfunny prattle from a couple of maladjusted freaks; if we can only come up with one killer line, one significant reference that will reignite their enthusisam for this thread, then perhaps in some small way, in some final irony, we can provide those people with a kind of meaning in an increasingly meaningless world.

"Squeal like a pig, boy!"

Best I could come up with.

any different faces...