http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/entertainment/showbiz/newsid_1455000/1455033.stm

Isn't Robert Newman organising some kind of boycott / protest?

"You see that tin of Nestle baby milk? That's your mum, that is."

There is a web-site currently being organised for all acts that wish to boycott the Perrier this year. So far only the Bongo Club has publicly come out and to be honest none of their acts who are eligable stand a hope in hell.

Privately I've spoken to quite a few people who have said that if they receive a nomination they will boycott, but I can't see their agents allowing that.

If anyone wants more info on the Perrier Boycott website mail me at jayne@traverse.co.uk and I'll pass your details on to the organisers

>There is a web-site currently being organised for all acts that wish to boycott the Perrier this year.

Anything for the punters that want to register their distaste too? It's a little hard to *retrospectively* boycott the Perrier winner, and I'm not limiting myself to only seeing acts that stand no earthly chance...

On the other hand, Kit-kats...

... changed their packaging just to piss off heroin users. And that's NOT ON. Nestle are evil.

(And since when were they Nestl-ay? It was always Nestles when I was small. Overnight we all changed our pronunciation. Now, that's corporate mind control...)

>(And since when were they Nestl-ay? It was always Nestles when I was small. Overnight we all changed our pronunciation. Now, that's corporate mind control...)

Exactly. The old Milky Bar jingle definitely said "Nessels Milk-ee Bah" (phonetically.)

cf:

Nikeeeeee

Adeeeedas

Since when?

NIYK and ADiDAS was good enough for me and my kind in the olden days...

Well, I tend to take classic hip hop as my guide here.

Run DMC always talked about their "fresh fly A-DEE-dus." So that's fair enough. But in Ice Cube's "Really Doe," (If you gat tuh believe sumthin... whah nut believe in me?) he clearly says "With concrete Nikes, you
gets no stripes," and Nikes is pronounced to pseudo-rhyme with stripes.

187 I'm da enemy
And dey treat me like I just shat a Kennedy.

>"You see that tin of Nestle baby milk? That's your mum, that is."

Exactly. The Awards will be besieged by hordes of middle-class NCT members, baring their breasts and forcing the judges to practise Lamaze breathing techniques for birthing the head.

>Well, I tend to take classic hip hop as my guide here.

About 87 was when I first noticed it happen - when Run DMC started going on about their footwear.

Pre Run DMC, I'd never heard the long eeee in Adidas.

When Adidas meant football kit in a shoulder bag rather than big trainers, it always had a little 'i'

>>Well, I tend to take classic hip hop as my guide here.

Never a great idea.

>About 87 was when I first noticed it happen - when Run DMC started going on about their footwear.
>
>Pre Run DMC, I'd never heard the long eeee in Adidas.
>
>When Adidas meant football kit in a shoulder bag rather than big trainers, it always had a little 'i'

It *should* be Addy-das anyway, no long e, because the founder's name was Adolf (Adi pron. Addy) Dassler. Damn fool American rappers don't know how to speak....

Edwyn Collins had a song called 'Adidas World' in which he pronouncd it 'adeeedas'. He's normally right, so I go with him.

>cf:
>
>Nikeeeeee

>Since when?

The Nyk-e pronounciation is academic. By that I mean, that's how we were taught to pronounce it in classics (at school). And I recall some confusion because of the said brand of footwear (some students saying Ny-k - others, such as myself, outraged that some American corporation should so abuse the religious beliefs of ancient Athens). I doubt the company altered the pronounciation to appease classicists, so maybe they were just trying to emphasise the Greek goddess link. That, of course, is assuming classicists have always pronounced it Nyk-e - cf Bo(a)(u)d(e)(i)(c)(i)a.

An interesting Anti Anti-Perrier campaign has sprung up.

I didn't believe it until I heard Emo Philips get big laughs with the subject last night. I then spoke to one of the big promotors who told me that the whole anti-Perrier thing was 'so 1990s' (that is a real quote) and that there were better things to protest about.

Yeah let's forget the poverty, damage and degradation we cause in countries that are underdeveloped so that some half-arsed comedian can win a few grand and a gig in a West End theatre.

Luckily, we're not eligible for the Perrier, so we'll be boycotting it without getting out of bed. I love that "it's so 1990s" defence - translatation: "I so want to win the Perrier - I would malnourish a developing-world baby to do so".

Andrew and others

If we can get this site up and running, though a problem at the moment is that NEstle own most domain names with the words boycott and Perrier in them - coincidence !!!

Anyway if we do get it up and running and get some badges made up we will distribute them liberally for all those brave enough to wear them.

>Andrew and others
>
>If we can get this site up and running, though a problem at the moment is that NEstle own most domain names with the words boycott and Perrier in them - coincidence !!!
>
>Anyway if we do get it up and running and get some badges made up we will distribute them liberally for all those brave enough to wear them.

Well I'd wear one.

Is this condescending or patronising?

from Ananova.com

Awards chief speaks out against boycott campaigners

The head of the Perrier Comedy Awards has spoken out against those calling for a boycott of the competition in protest at the marketing practices of the prize's sponsor.
Rob Newman and Emma Thompson, who won with Cambridge Footlights in 1981, are among those backing Baby Milk Action's calls for a boycott over the marketing of powdered baby milk products in developing countries by Perrier's owners Nestle.

Nica Burns, director and producer of the Perrier Awards, says they have "made their point", but most comics involved in the Festival do not want the Fringe to be 'hijacked'.

She claims that campaigners behind the comedians' boycott calls do not care about the Festival and its aims. "They are all very nice people, but I just think they are out of touch with how Edinburgh is today."

Ms Burns says: "The people highlighting the issue don't care about the comedians and the fact they have worked all year round to get here.
"They have got 52 weeks of the year to agitate and we've got three weeks for the best arts festival in this country and we want to get on and do that and I think that's a very strong feeling around the city."

She adds: "They've had their attention and it isn't wanted by the mass of people here quite clearly. It's not appropriate. There are lots of forums for them to go to.
"Many awards have come and gone and what is extraordinary about the Perrier Awards is the fact Perrier set them up themselves and it has been so committed to them all this time."

Baby Milk Action opposes Nestle's marketing of infant formula milk in the developing world. It says the practice endangers the lives of many infants in areas where water is contaminated and where mothers are discouraged from breastfeeding.

Nestle rejects the claims against it, saying many of them are out of date, and insists it abides by the 1981 World Health Organisation International Code on the sale and marketing of breast milk substitutes.

Story filed: 21:17 Sunday 5th August 2001

Fucking hell.

>Edwyn Collins had a song called 'Adidas World' in which he pronouncd it 'adeeedas'. He's normally right, so I go with him.

That'd be Ed-wine Collins then.

I hope this doesn't amount to the blasting of whichever poor sap wins this year's prize.
It might be wise for people to do their own research into what Nestle are actually up to now, rather than rely on what they have heard has happened in the past. For example, have any of the protesting comics checked to see if Nestles (and I reckon it's Ness-els too) are complying with those guidlines?

I'm not defending Nestles here, I'm just suspicious that this may be a kneejerk protest based on old information, by middle class people who probably eat Kit Kats anyway.
Protest for protest's sake is an empty cause. It undermines the credibility of real protest.

If it's proved they are still up to their old tricks, then yes, protest.
(Hey, where were the protests against Perrier when Aussies and New Zealanders boycotted French products re nuclear tests in the Pacific and the blowing up of the Rainbow Warrior by French government agents?)

>It might be wise for people to do their own research into what Nestle are actually up to now, rather than rely on what they have heard has happened in the past. For example, have any of the protesting comics checked to see if Nestles (and I reckon it's Ness-els too) are complying with those guidlines?

The last NUS Nestles (yes, Nessels) report was published about three months ago and it basically said yes, they are still up to the same tricks with the baby milk promotion, despite promising to change; so NUS are still boycotting the company and asking SUs to do the same. Ok, so the NUS are not infallible guardians of moral rectitude and correct behaviour, but in this case I agree with their findings.

And I don't eat Kit Kats, especially since they now come in stupid wrappers.

>(Hey, where were the protests against Perrier when Aussies and New Zealanders boycotted French products re nuclear tests in the Pacific and the blowing up of the Rainbow Warrior by French government agents?)

We waited until the French tested nuclear weapons in Muroroa Atol in the mid-90s so we could go one step better - boycotting French Fries, French Restaurants, French Teachers and French Sticks (they were re-named Aussie Logs), not to mention blowing up old Renauts. Don't you love it when the tabloids whip up mindless boycotting and sanctioned racism?

Someone just pointed out to me that Nestlé bought Perrier in 1992. So are we going to see a flurry of previous winners handing back their awards in disgust? Are we shite.

>Someone just pointed out to me that Nestlé bought Perrier in 1992. So are we going to see a flurry of previous winners handing back their awards in disgust? Are we shite.

Why not? They've probably already (baby) milked the prestige thing enought already, established themselves, etc. It would be a quick and easy bit of publicity. They could all ponce off to Leicester Square and make a little self-righteous bonfire of Perrier awards.

Every year since Nestle bought Perrier people have tried to start a boycott Perrier campaign and it has come to nothing.

The stooshie this year only started because Rob and Emma T came out publicly - they've now been joined by Victoria Wood and Julie Christie.

I know that nothing we do will stop the Perrier award and I appreciate that for the winner it is a massive career boost and that in no way should the winner be villified.

However, I would like the organisers to just acknowledge that Perrier's parent company is still doing untold damage to the developing world. This 'I'm Alright jack' attitude that is prevalent in the UK at the moment really pisses me off.

Some of you know that professionally I run the development department of a major UK theatre and that means I am responsible for bringing in sponsors as well as seeking out other sources fo income for the theatre. My department is very successful even though I have in place an ethical fundraising policy.
As an organisation we do not accept money from from certain companies - this includes Nestle.

An award of the Perrier's standing could be taken over by another sponsor - it would just be called something different like the Granola bar (!!). Honestly the award would retain its prestige and you could easily find a more suitable sponsor.

For once I do REALLY know what I am talking about.

It would make more sense if it was sponsored by a funny product, such as the Whoopie Cushion.

I agree with Jayne; JUST boycotting the Perrier award obviously isn't going to make Nestle rethink its developing-nation policy, but it does highlight the serious issues that, prior to this campaign lots of people weren't aware of.
Hate to sound like an embittered anti-capitalist, but the only way any undemocratic multinational corporation like Nestle is going to be made to change its unethical ways is through consumer power. A boycott of a relatively high profile award such as the Perrier could play a small part in changing spending patterns and showing Nestle that some consumers do care about ethical issues.

Sorry about sounding so self-righteous.

Or fake dog poo, maybe.

Damn you for undermining my serious point with trite humour.

Or those hand buzzers.

Emma Thompson would soon be crawling back, begging to share the limelight with our range of funny toys.

Imagine how much more successful Steve Coogan would have been if he'd won the "Black Soap" award.

>Imagine how much more successful Steve Coogan would have been if he'd won the "Black Soap" award.

Or if he'd blacked up?

He could've signed all the contracts he received with invisible ink.

Excellent comments well made Mike and Jayne (oh, and the fake dog poo one was also of merit). I agree that the consumer must take personal responsibility when it comes to boycotting unethical companies. I consider McDonalds to be cultural vandals, amongst other things, thus have not touched a single item of their food or drink in 14 years, not a fry, not a sip, nothing.
I hope that the eventual Perrier winner(s) won't be villified or put in the position where they feel they 'have to do the right thing' and give the award back. It would be far more effective if everybody currently objecting (Emma, Rob, etc) actually stick to their guns and personally boycott Nestles products as well as write them a letter explaining that they will only buy those products again when Nestles 'do the right thing' re: the powdered milk advertising in third world nations.

Sorry if I'm annoying people here, but what is it we want Nestle to do? I know they actively promoted their products as preferable to breast milk in the seventies, but these days, people are watching them , and their activity in the Third World is restricted. I'm anti-corporate myself, but what, specifically, do we want Nestle to do, or say?

Actually their work in developing countries may be reported as restricted but this is far from the case. Since the West picked up on the dangers of formula baby feed in other countries Nestle has done a great pr job to try and prove that they have cleaned up their act.

At the end of the day, it depends who and what you believe. I believe very strongly that companies can and should be good citizens and not just to those of us who read Private Eye and live in the Western World. It is our responsibility to try and alert others when we see exploitation and deprivation of those who have no voice of their own.

It is only by hitting corporations in their profits where it hurts that any action will be taken to end exploitative practices. By increasing pressures on their western markets you can try and make them amend their practices in the underdeveloped world.

I'm not stupid - I know that we will never live in a utopian society where we all love each other and treat each other right all the time, but I'll be damned if I let the cynicism of today's society crush my ideals.

And if that makes me an old soft liberal lefty then that's what I am.

But you're a practical old softy liberal lefty, Jayne - a very good thing to be. You go beyond idealising and actually DO things to back up your beliefs, such as ensuring that your sponsorship doesn't come from the wrong sources, etc, rather than just pointing fingers at others. (Although, that can be a nice way to spend a sunny afternoon in the Pleasance courtyard. Oh, how I wish I were there...)

Aww thanks Janet, before this site disappears (if only temporarily) maybe we can learn to all lurve each other a little bit in a platonic and not at all messy way.

I did flex my managerial muscles re: NEstle this morning. Perrier have taken to delivering boxes of the stuff to venues around Edinburgh to promote the comedy award and like King Canute I turned back their tide and told them that we didn't want their noxious substance.

I am now the most hated person at work.

On a good note some people who read this site and who talk to me in real life, not just via e-mail, have offered to distribute any Perrier Boycott badges we may get made up during the Festival. At the moment I don't think we can be more succinct than having them read 'Fuck The Perrier'

Any suggestions ?

>Aww thanks Janet, before this site disappears (if only temporarily) maybe we can learn to all lurve each other a little bit in a platonic and not at all messy way.
>
>I did flex my managerial muscles re: NEstle this morning. Perrier have taken to delivering boxes of the stuff to venues around Edinburgh to promote the comedy award and like King Canute I turned back their tide and told them that we didn't want their noxious substance.
>
>I am now the most hated person at work.
>
>On a good note some people who read this site and who talk to me in real life, not just via e-mail, have offered to distribute any Perrier Boycott badges we may get made up during the Festival. At the moment I don't think we can be more succinct than having them read 'Fuck The Perrier'
>
>Any suggestions ?

Sounds good to me. I'll wear one. I admire you for taking a stand on this issue jayne. I'm with you 100%.

I'm a lefty too, but that doesn't really answer Bob's question. What should Nestle be doing (or what should they stop doing) to avoid being singled out like this?

> At the moment I don't think we can be more succinct than having them read 'Fuck The Perrier'
>
>Any suggestions ?

'Just Say Neau'.

http://www.babymilkaction.org/

seem to think that Nestl&233; are still in the wrong. It does seem to be an article of faith that Nestle are evile amongst a certain strain of the liberal elite. However, who else do you believe on this issue? Nestle PR??

>http://www.babymilkaction.org/
>

That answers my question. What a bunch of slimy bastards. I won't be buying any more Kit Kats.

To lighten the mood, a quote from "Sleeper."

"Miles, have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything?"

"Sure, for twenty four hours once I refused to eat grapes."

Jayne,
I'd like to offer my assistance (if it is needed) in any way I can over the next week or so. I live quite close to your place of work and can distribute (have bike) or do web stuff (have pc etc).
I did like andrew collins' suggestion "I so want to win the Perrier - I would malnourish a developing-world baby to do so". but don't think that will fit on a badge. anyhow email me at grant@kooshti.co.uk if you want/need help.

I want to add how brave Boothby was over the Perrier, and he should have been given some sort of award for his stance on things. And this is a genuine point, people, some people make a stand and stick to it.

Turning away chocolate is a brave move! Good work.
Badgeswise, I think "Fuck Perrier" would be much better, as it is directed at the company rather than at the award. Making it "Fuck The Perrier" turns blame toward the performers (who may be nominated/win) rather than where it belongs - the company. Including "the" lets the award and thus performers become a buffer between the protest and Perrier/Nestles company. "Fuck Perrier" is a beautiful, blatant statement which conveys the protest and sentiment behind it, as well as indicating displeasure that the award is backed by them.

Also, printing costs are less.

PS. Nice to see a Boothby mention RHC.

Incidentally, I have no idea who is protesting or what they are saying over there. Fill me in on the vibe folks.
I'm just fearful of the eventual award recipient being unfairly villified.
Who knows? Maybe somebody will be a hero for rejecting it, but will it be genuine or will they be doing it to be fashionable?

>http://www.babymilkaction.org/

Yep, I'm convinced. It's pretty outrageous that a PR machine can achieve more to assuage public outcry, and is seen as a cheaper alternative, to actually taking action on the concerns of the people.

I'll admit that, while not convinced, Nestle placed questions in my head about whether a boycott was justified. (Mind you, in a SOTCAA-style, questions are a good thing).

How about distributing Fuck Perrier badges in places other than Edinburgh? And a letter-writing campaign?

Totally off topic and just for RHC
Boothby was looking rather fine last night when I saw him.

Back on topic - I don't think that we will get anyone who is actually in line for the Perrier to take a stand. Why should they it's there careers on the line - different for people like me and certain politically motivated performers who are free to speak their mind.

Anyway I'll keep those of you who are interested updated.

For the person enquiring what it is we actually want Nestle to do, I thought that I had answered this but basically the dream is that we can persuade enough people in the West to boycott Nestle products to hurt Nestle economically and thus pressure them into amending their practices in the developing world. It did work with Barclays in the 80s.

Again I'm not stupid enough to think that people are suddenly going to undergo a road to damascus type aversion to Nestle products but I would rather take a futile stand than no stand at all. I've come over all Gallipoli-like (sorry Janet)

I voted Scottish Socialist Party in the general election so I'm used to being on the losing side.

Can we boycott Nescafé, that disgusting milkshake they tried to make into a cereal and all the other nasty tasting Nestlé products aswell a award 99% of us AREN'T going to win?(Who here actually drinks perrier bottled water!?)

An angle:

All those due to be shortlisted for the Perrier Award this year - all the rabid self-publicists and their managers who intend to slap the 'Perrier Award Winner' tag on future PR sheets to prove how great they are to producers, all those who dream of waving that cheap little Nica Burns pisspot in the air and being plastered all over Time Out for the next few months...

...wouldn't they get just as much publicity (if not a hell of a lot more) if they were to publically denounce and reject the award - right at the moment they take the stage to receive it?

All the papers would cover it, 'Edinburgh Or Bust' would find it impossible to edit it out, and - even if the act in question couldn't care less about the Nestle thing, they'd still be seen as the hero of the hour. They'd be known as 'The Ones Who Told Nestle/Perrier to Get Fucked'. The campaign would also get a lot more publicity as a result.

Yes?

>Yes?

Yep, you're absolutely right. A high profile denunciation of said carbonated water product's parent company would definitely make a pretty big impact, while simultaneously allowing the performer to save face.
But would the winner give the £5,000 to a Good Cause?
The answer is perhaps.

>. They'd be known as 'The Ones Who Told Nestle/Perrier to Get Fucked'. The campaign would also get a lot more publicity as a result.
>
>Yes?

I was thinking of this. Obviously, the acts that don't win would have to go, "Aah, yes, I was going to do that as well if I won" unconvincingly. But it would be great if that happened.
On the other hand, I'm sure if they did that they'd get stick for not boycotting the prize outright in the first place - it might look like winning the prize and then turning it down is having your cake and eating it too.
But on the whole, I hope that happens.

Joe - I like the way you think.

Funnily enough Cyderdelic have just started a similar pr campaign. They are on the front of today's paper boycotting Starbucks by holding a sit-down protest at the entrance - whilst managing to promote their show at the same time.

Personally I believe that the way to change the system is to use the system for your own means so playing on a performer's need for publicity might just work but I couldn't see any of the big promotors going for it.

We've reached the stage at the festival where tiredness, bad tempers and apathy to anything and everything has set in.

Sorry if this is a bit rambling - I only grabbed 3 hours sleep last night.

That would be rather poor though. Putting "Turned down the Perrier, right on!" on your next lot of tour posters is vomit-enducing. Twisting the whole thing into another way to get some undeserved promotion. (Exactly what Nestle do with the guidelines for how they should describe their products.) However, if they drew attention to it with some humour, that would be okay. e.g. a poster of the winner with very blue eyes (like what Jesus had) breast-feeding a black baby next to a bonfire of Kit Kats.

> I would rather take a futile stand than no stand at all. I've come over all Gallipoli-like (sorry Janet)

"Mel Gibson almost died for you people!" DAAS (severe paraphrase)

Nice reference Jayne. LOL.
Ah yes, like Gallipoli I can see this being a sacrifice of the innocent for the presumed sake of a greater/futile cause. I hope that Nestle get a moderate wakeup call as a result of this. And I hope that those protesting follow through - eg.Vanessa Redgrave to actully write a letter rather than just bitch to the press.
(It's the Trade Unionist in me that doesn't want performers to suffer)

>We've reached the stage at the festival where tiredness, bad tempers and apathy to
>anything and everything has set in.

After one week??? With three left!!! It's not like it was in my day. We didn't get cranky until at least half-way through.

My guess is that boycotting it would give you short-term publicity, but the act wouldn't be recognised by 'the industry', who would see you as a troublemaker and thus unbankable.

Its now become "Lets use this as a publicity stunt" Johnny Vegas ISN'T supporting not because he's an emotionless Bastard but because he doesn't want to be accused of publicising(sp?) his Show. It'll be interesting to see which potential Perrier acts will boycott?

Is Johnny Vegas eligible? Having done 'Happiness', I mean.

I believe that Perrier make you sign a contract when you are nominated promising not to denigrate the product.

If you could persuade 2 or 3 of the nominated acts to boycott at the nomination stage then that would be your best shot (don't think this is very realistic. I think people would have too much to lose)
I don't think the industry would see you as a trouble maker for doing such a thing. I think they'd like it. Though obviously you'd miss out on the West End Run and any prize money.

The more I think about it (and it is a confusing issue) the more I think that this is an inappropriate platform for protest. Much as I dislike the idea of awards it seems to me that the people who are in with a chance of winning it have a lot to lose by boycotting and the people who are trying to get them to have nothing to lose.
I think a general boycott of Nestle products by everyone who cares about the issue is a much fairer way to do things. And perhaps by just making the point and getting the story in the papers the protestors have done enough.

But its a tricky one for sure and I have to say that if by some ridiculous fluke I got nominated I wouldn't know what to do (so lucky for me that I won't be put in that position)

As to Johnny Vegas, I think the rule is that you've had to have had a TV series of your own. But the rules are very cloudy. Rich Hall was a very successful comedian (especially in the states) when he won.

Well no Johnny Vegas isn't eligible but neither is Rob Newman, Emma Thompson etc. If I remember correctly only one of last years Perrier Nominees were actually eligible for an award. Its been proven by Graham Norton that you don't need to win the Perrier to be successful as he was beaten by TLOG but has had a show longer than them. So what I'm trying to say is who cares if tey boycott while nominated if they're that talented they'll go far anyways
P.SI'm quite Impressed I'm replying to Richard Herring but I'm young and easily excited I'm sorry Mr Herring

Hello far more articulate and better-tempered Jayne than yesterday here. For those of you following this strand like the soap opera it's turning into here is a summary and an update.

Nasty Nestle are holding part of the developing world to ransom by promoting the use of their baby formula as opposed to mother's breast-feeding. They are making huge profits by selling this formula to governments in the developing world who then distribute it. There is evidence that the water being used by Nestle to mix the baby formula is polluted and is the cause of a number of health scares and baby deaths in the countries where the formula is used. Nasty Nestle own Perrier and so as a publicity stunt to draw attention to the baby milk scandal some people are trying to start a Perrier Boycott at Edinburgh using the Perrier award as the catalyst. PHEW!

OK – we all know that we aren't going to stop the award and we all are aware that to the acts nominated and winners this is a massive career boost. We're not nasty and don't want to fuck it up for anyone BUT wouldn't it be nice if we could just start a little fire under Nestle and let them know that this issue will not drop.

What worries me is the fear of people to even publicly denigrate Perrier when they have no chance of being nominated. Someone actually told me they didn't want to talk about it any more in case they didn't get an invite to the Perrier Party – the phrase I used to them included the phrase 'more shallow than a fucking puddle'.

We want to raise awareness so that people will stop buying Nestle products and thus hurt Nestle economically which may persuade them to change their policy.

We will never persuade nominated acts to boycott (other than one or two that have indicated that they would who have no chance of being nominated anyway) and if I was their management I wouldn't stand for them boycotting – the thumb-screws would be out

Anyways we'll hopefully get some nice badges made up with a suitable slogan (thanks to St Joe for all his hard work) that people can wear with pride or ironically – you choose.

Also the publicity machine rolls on with stuff on Radio 5 this morning with a representative of the Bongo Club and the Director of Corporate Affair for Nestle.

On a final note, and I know that my venue is a drama venue but us with our liberal principles and ethical fundraising policy still managed three Fringe Firsts, 2 Herald Angels and a Herald Archangel for artistic excellence this week – that's just a bit of boasting.

There's an interesting piece written by a Mr S. Lee in the Sunday Times News Review section today about the Perrier boycott and the role of politics in comedy in general.

So that's why he needed to know about Ben Elton....
(Good milk references too)

Mr Lee's article from the S Times - part of News International, a company that has been unsuccessfully boycotted in the past.

As always the man talks sense - we know it's wrong but who is actually going to put their head above the parapet, other than those of us who have nothing to lose. If we were out to boycott some big stage award I would be keeping my gob firmly shut.

"It's nine years since Nestlé, the powdered baby milk producer with the controversial record in developing-world dealings, bought Perrier's bottled water business, and so became the de facto sponsor of the Perrier awards, the Edinburgh Festival's Oscars of comedy. But at the start of the festival last week the actress Emma Thompson and anti-capitalist comedian Rob Newman belatedly attempted to put the powdered milk industry in the dock by calling for a boycott of the awards next Saturday on the grounds that, according to the World Health Organisation, it is responsible for the deaths of 1.5m babies a year.

If this all sounds serious, bear in mind that the following article may include the words "breasts" and "breastmilk" which, according to World Comedy Organisation research in the late 1970s, have been proven to make children smirk and thus are officially funny.

The case for boycotting the Perrier awards would once have seemed obvious. Even Britpop slackers Pulp, Cast, Ocean Colour Scene and Shed 7 pulled out of a Nestlé music promotion last year.

So what does the non-committal response of Fringe comics this year say about the comedy industry, birthed, as it was, in the anti-racist, anti-sexist "alternative" comedy culture of the early 1980s? "It seems that comedians here feel that there's a load of old acts, who are not eligible, complaining about something that will only be to the detriment of those who would be nominated anyway," said Fringe regular Richard Herring, himself a fan of milk in all its forms.

But former Perrier winner Jenny Eclair was shocked to learn that Nestlé had owned Perrier in 1995 when she won the main award. As she said: "I've been going around saying my conscience was clear, but now I realise my hands are actually dripping with gore. That said, I'm not giving it back."

But apart from these two devil-may-care veterans, it was difficult to find anyone with a chance of winning an award who was prepared to offer an opinion.

One comedian, who like most wished to remain anonymous, but may or may not be bald, said that the best strategy for a conscience-stricken comic was to stay in the race, win, and then smash the statuette into pieces with a brick after receiving it. In this way said comic would avoid the sacrifice of any valuable media coverage and still make a political point.

Just like long-term opposition politicians who suddenly find themselves having to shake hands with American Republicans, it's only in the past decade that once alternative comedy has been popular enough, and attractive enough to the media, to be forced to take moral quibbles seriously.

The young Ben Elton of 20 years ago would surely have been rightly disgusted by his older self, sanctioning the use of a song he co-wrote at George Bush's inauguration. "It wasn't presented as a Republican event but as the inauguration of the head of state of the United States," he equivocated.

But to be fair the young Ben Elton of 20 years ago could have maintained the moral high ground without putting himself to the test. Then, he would never have been invited to the White House to perform routines about how socks go missing in the washing machine.

Alternative comedians of the 1980s didn't attend the festering banquet of corrupt modern culture, but it's easy to decline an invitation that you are unlikely to be offered.

It's also easier for high-profile high earners to wear the gladrags of opposition chic than it is for comics already facing a five-figure loss in Edinburgh to absent themselves from an obvious chance of justifying their expenses.

When Neil Young sang "Ain't singin' for Pepsi, ain't singin' for Coke" he was already a multi-millionaire for whom fizzy drink funding was not a financial incentive.

Tommy Sheppard, of Edinburgh's Stand Comedy club, was sympathetic to the comedians' dilemma. "It's so costly to get here you're locked into a Faustian pact with promoters, so it makes sense to keep your trap shut." The dissenting voice hasn't been gagged, just priced out of the market.

Chris Morris, of Brass Eye, the Daily Mail's bęte noire, has however, been able to maintain the objectivity that makes him one of British comedy's truly worthwhile satirists. He stands entirely outside the cultural mainstream that colours the commentary of his more accommodating contemporaries, and receives the financial backing of Channel 4, which loves a good controversy, irrespective of its actual moral worth.

Not for Morris the balancing act of doing highly paid advertisements for banks one week, then appearing in a campaign to drop Third World debt the next, before heading off to Have I Got News For You to call into ques

tion the honesty and credibility of other media figures.

Since the year zero of 1979 alternative comedy has grown up. Its subject material is now more varied and fascinating than the pummelling of Tory straw men that was once its stock in trade.

It's been through its rebellious teens and is now settling down into adult life, with all its difficult moral choices. Poor, novice practitioners feel harried by financial necessity while, at the other extreme, famous names are compromised by previously undreamt of chances to make a mint.

Like Nestlé, comedy is now a business, and business has its own morality. Peter Brabeck, Nestlé's chief executive officer, explained the morality of business at a shareholders' meeting in April.

Admittedly it was an unofficial statement, andNestlé's press office were keen to point out that English was not Mr Brabeck's first language, implying he may not have understood what he was saying, but there seems to be something rotten at the core of his message. "I decided to eliminate the word 'ethical' from Nestlé," he said, "because it's a word which divides people. We don't talk about ethics at Nestlé. We talk about responsibility. Our responsibility to our shareholders, our employees, and all other stakeholders."

What was once the scruffy world of alternative comedy is now professional enough to attract its own shareholders, employees and stakeholders. It is asking a lot of the workers in the world of comedy to take a moral position in an era when the man ultimately behind their Perrier prizes apparently sees nothing wrong with eliminating the word ethics from his company's lexicon.

But is it asking too much?

As usual, the white middle-class libs such as Em get bees in their bonnets about something happening thousands of miles away to ickle pretty black babies.

How about addressing the same problem at home for a change? The UK has the highest proportion of low-birthweight babies in Europe (matched only by Albania) and the lowest level of breastfeeding....perhaps she'd like to go and picket her local health centre and question their flogging of cheap powdered formula to young women who can hardly afford to feed themselves? As for Rob Newman, I'm sure he'd love to grow a couple of mammaries of his own and pump a few gallons for charidee.

>How about addressing the same problem at home for a change? The UK has the highest proportion of low-birthweight babies in Europe (matched only by Albania) and the lowest level of breastfeeding....perhaps she'd like to go and picket her local health centre and question their flogging of cheap powdered formula to young women who can hardly afford to feed themselves?

I'm no doctor, but I would have thought that a mother's failure to breastfeed would pose more of a threat to a baby's health in sub-saharan Africa than it would in Britain. Although I agree that more should be done to help mothers in this country, I would argue that whereas in less developed countries, the use of baby milk formula can bring on serious illness or even death(through the use of contaminated water and through malnutrition), in Britain, the choice between breastfeeding and using milk formula is somewhat less stark. But, as I said, I'm no doctor.
Full marks though for bringing us pious liberals down to earth a bit.