Righteous anti-paed piece adjacent to Charlotte Church 'phwoor eh lads' pic.

Satirise that, Morris.

"she's a big girl now"

".......looking chest swell....."

and thoughfully putting in her age too.

Tremendous stuff, I think even Bobby Davro could satirise this

I'm reminded of the Ben Elton routine about the Star cover story many years ago - a naked girl with her hands across her tits with the headline "She's only 15 - they're already 38 inches - and when she's sixteen in five days time she'll show you her nipples".

>I'm reminded of the Ben Elton routine about the Star cover story many years ago - a naked girl with her hands across her tits with the headline "She's only 15 - they're already 38 inches - and when she's sixteen in five days time she'll show you her nipples".


And not forgetting, of course, that the Daily Sport actually did this...

Alert the authorities.
seriously, mail this to the letters department of every paper in the land, this is basically the most obvious response to the hystreia that they could have provided.
Someone had a list of all the letters pages somewhere on this forum.

that is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life. Actually angry.
(Can't do the mailing myself cos my account refuses to work)
Do you think they did it on purpose, clever jouros dumbing down + having a laugh in their dumb-fuck readership?
Fucking ridiculous

"I'm reminded of the Ben Elton routine about the Star cover story many years ago - a naked girl with her hands across her tits with the headline "She's only 15 - they're already 38 inches - and when she's sixteen in five days time she'll show you her nipples". "

Blimey, that's exactly what I was reminded of.

The routine was on the "Motorvation" live album.

Gotta love the quote half-way down the wrestling piece...

"Their double-standards are incomprehensible"

Shall I send them an angry email? That'll show 'em.

could someone please post Tessa Jowell's e-mail address again? I'd quite like to see her take some action over *actual* underage children *actually* being exploited...

oh - that'll be the thread about five posts up, I'm clearly so angry I can't even see...

That is marvelous.

Still no word from VLS in the Standard. He's on holiday. Their editorial today took an apparently laudable anti-Labour line (essentially "What's all the fuss about?") but obviously they only did that because they're anti-Labour.

>could someone please post Tessa Jowell's e-mail address again? I'd quite like to see her take some action over *actual* underage children *actually* being exploited...

You might also want to look at the Press Complaints Commision site at
www.pcc.org.uk

I don't think Littlejohn will be pro-BES, but I wouldn't be surprised if The Spectator was in favour. Or if it in fact carried a pro-BES article by Michael Portillo. After all, what's he got to lose now?

Rob, is that a genuine two-page section of the same issue of the paper, or is that a poignant juxtaposition of two different copies?

If that *is* genuinely an unmodified copy of the Star, then it truly, truly, beggars belief. Astonishing.

The one jpg says it all really. All this talk about tighter censorship on TV programs while the Tabloids still get away with stuff like that. The Sun published a photo of Beatrice and Eugenie today, both wearing bikinis.

Channel 5 news are running a profile of Chris Morris this evening at 7:30, if anyone's interested. Should be fun to see what kind of a person they make him out to be.

>Channel 5 news are running a profile of Chris Morris this evening at 7:30,

A single still photo of Morris's evil face, with a nice pink border, and a man reading his various satirial acts nicked off the BBC Online profile.

'click to enlarge'

i'm already enlarged mate, har har har.

>>Channel 5 news are running a profile of Chris Morris this evening at 7:30,
>
>A single still photo of Morris's evil face, with a nice pink border, and a man reading his various satirial acts nicked off the BBC Online profile.

It was piss poor, but quite possibly Channel 5 most thorough work to date.

>It was piss poor, but quite possibly Channel 5 most thorough work to date.

Quite frankly, I think they've lost it. Similar themes, reworking their old strands. Even the presentation seems tired compared to four years ago. It's almost as if they're going through the motions just to create a furore.

>>It was piss poor, but quite possibly Channel 5 most thorough work to date.
>
>Quite frankly, I think they've lost it. Similar themes, reworking their old strands. Even the presentation seems tired compared to four years ago. It's almost as if they're going through the motions just to create a furore.

Compared to some of Steve's earlier messages, it just didn't grab me.

Etc.

Frm the BBC thing linked above:

>Even Private Eye, a magazine whose raison d'ętre has always been to laugh in the face of the establishment, baulked at one of Scarfe's cartoons which portrayed in graphic detail how Harold Wilson was in the grasp of American president Lyndon Johnson.

Yes, Wislon with his tongue embedded in Johnson's arse. Joke about the Special Relationship.

They were so shocked they put it on the front cover. I have it somewhere.

Should it be possible to print the jpeg off?
I've tried -twice- but it's made the printer die both times.

>
>And not forgetting, of course, that the Daily Sport actually did this...
>

Actually it was the Star. There was a brief period when the Sport management were brought in by United Newspapers (as it then was) to try and revive the circulation. Late '87 if mammary serves.

As for Charlotte Church, you wouldn't need much persuading, would you?

>Actually it was the Star. There was a brief period when the Sport management were brought in by United Newspapers (as it then was) to try and revive the circulation. Late '87 if mammary serves.

BEN ELTON: And there he was - the old bastard lost his job. Why did he lose his job? I'll tell you why, ladies and gentlemen - because Tescos withdrew their advertising account! Well God moves in mysterious ways!

>As for Charlotte Church, you wouldn't need much persuading, would you?

Matthew Wright didn't, if the rumours are to be believed. Brrr.

>BEN ELTON: And there he was - the old bastard lost his job.
>

The old bastard in question being Michael Gabbert, an extremely dodgy old bastard indeed. Bankrupted several times over and the owner of a heinous wig. Now dead.

> Why did he lose his job? I'll tell you why, ladies and gentlemen - because Tescos withdrew their advertising account! Well God moves in mysterious ways!
>

God, or in this case the financial might of Dame Shirley Porter. Much the same for certain Tory press barons of the time, really.

>Matthew Wright didn't, if the rumours are to be believed. Brrr.
>

[somehow dislodges eyebrows from unhealthily raised position] Blimey. Wonder what his *personal* opinion of BES was, then?

Incidentally, I still treasure a CD-ROM featuring what appears to be Ms Church in a bit of golden shower action. Thanks, Joe xxx

The two stories appeared next to one another over two pages exactly as the scan shows.

>The two stories appeared next to one another over two pages exactly as the scan shows.

Pages 26 and 27, they were.

>Incidentally, I still treasure a CD-ROM featuring what appears to be Ms Church in a bit of golden shower action. Thanks, Joe xxx

My hatred of the Welsh knows no bounds

"Voice Of An Angel? If I ever got hold of her she'd be squealing like a fucking pig"
('The Wright Stuff', September 14 2000)

Anyway, shush. We're not friends, remember.

"Voice Of An Angel? If I ever got hold of her she'd be squealing like a fucking pig"
>('The Wright Stuff', September 14 2000)
>

Well, quite...

unsurprisingly they're doing a piece on brasseye on newsnight tonight. i didn't think it was worth starting a new thread for, but i'm sure someone else will.

>My hatred of the Welsh knows no bounds

Self-loathing?

>"Voice Of An Angel? If I ever got hold of her she'd be squealing like a fucking pig"
>('The Wright Stuff', September 14 2000)

Are you paraphrasing there?

>Anyway, shush. We're not friends, remember.

If it's that easy to forget that we're not friends, do you fancy a pint, you miserable old sod?

x

>unsurprisingly they're doing a piece on brasseye on newsnight tonight. i didn't think it was worth starting a new thread for, but i'm sure someone else will.

Looks quite good, I'm taping it and it appears Will Self is providing the usual horses.

>If it's that easy to forget that we're not friends, do you fancy a pint, you miserable old sod?

No, but if you're after scoring brownie points, I never did get paid for that Nostradamus cartoon for 'Publishing News'... Might ease my forthcoming phone bill.

>Looks quite good, I'm taping it and it appears Will Self is providing the usual horses.

And Steve Punt talking lots of sense as usual.

And Hugh Denis doing a nice impression occasionally? Oh no, I'm thinking of the Now Show.

it wasn't very good. has the tide of opinion turned so far they can't find anyone to rabidly condemn it?

Caption in the top right corner of the clips: "Chanel Four" - is that the fragrance one less erotic than No. 5?

The way the reporter's talking head appeared on several TVs around her just as she was talking about how the media suffers from "self-importance" and "dramatises its role." Was that a joke?

>The way the reporter's talking head appeared on several TVs around her just as she was talking about how the media suffers from "self-importance" and "dramatises its role." Was that a joke?

yes.

http://mudhole.spodnet.uk.com/~frogger/bbc_news_bes_2.rm
http://mudhole.spodnet.uk.com/~frogger/bbc_news_bes_2.rpm

http://mudhole.spodnet.uk.com/~frogger/c4_news_bes_1.rm
http://mudhole.spodnet.uk.com/~frogger/c4_news_bes_1.rpm

Hail to thee, Rob. That Channel 4 one is a bit better but still amazingly fails to mention the number of calls in support of the show.

>>The old bastard in question being Michael Gabbert, an extremely dodgy old bastard indeed. Bankrupted several times over and the owner of a heinous wig. Now dead.

And, here's the interesting fact - when there was a BBC one-off drama a few years back, about said tabloid sleazebag's early 60's antics in the area of football, guess who played Gabbert? Why, someone called Steve Coogan....

>No, but if you're after scoring brownie points
>

No desire to score brownie points. Just wondering if you had managed to get things into perspective. Evidently, you haven't.

> I never did get paid for that Nostradamus cartoon for 'Publishing News'...
>

That's because you didn't send in an invoice, you nit. I seem to recall that I reminded you and then when it didn't materialise took you out for a curry which I paid for out of my own pocket.

> Might ease my forthcoming phone bill.

Forthcoming? How did you pay the last one?

http://mudhole.spodnet.uk.com/~frogger/newsnight_bes_1.rpm

>No desire to score brownie points. Just wondering if you had managed to get things into perspective. Evidently, you haven't.

Can't believe you wrote that. Really can't.

>That's because you didn't send in an invoice, you nit. I seem to recall that I reminded you and then when it didn't materialise took you out for a curry which I paid for out of my own pocket.

Confused rambling, there. You said you'd contact me to set a price. Ages passed. No word from you. I totally forgot about it and didn't mention it again. Saw you for that final time last year (you know the one) - didn't bring up the subject then either. Your curry situation was months earlier as a 'business lunch' preamble to a different commission altogether anyway.

I'm willing to accept that your memory is 'hazy' on the above events rather than an out-and-out deliberate rewriting of history.

>>Might ease my forthcoming phone bill.

>Forthcoming? How did you pay the last one?

I need to speak to a certain incommunicado somebody in order to pay it. But you knew that already didn't you.

Mail me, you foul bohemian!

The feature heading: Sick Show Goes On Regardless adds a little extra irony I think.

Harlot Church
Charlotte Chest.
Nice Organ stops!
She big out font!
Child singing (or should that be 'swinging') sensation Charlotte Church…

>Can't believe you wrote that. Really can't.
>

I can. I'm a foul bohemian, you see?

>Confused rambling, there.

Well, it was a bloody long time ago. I can barely keep my own tax stuff in order. Am I expected to remember other people's details as well? At work, I tend to stay out of money conversations unless they directly involve me. If no-one from our place got in touch, sorry. Not my fault. I mentioned it to both them and you. In my experience, I'd say that the onus tends to be on the person receiving the wedge. A distressing number of companies love any excuse to sit on your money as long as humanly possible. There's one place that I've had to re-invoice several times to get paid once. Pain in the arse, but there it is.

> You said you'd contact me to set a price.
>

I doubt very much if I'd have said anything of the sort. Is it possible that I said that you should contact my editor yourself? I honestly have no idea what the freelancers at our place get.

> Ages passed. No word from you.

Hang on, weren't we speaking with reasonable regularity at that time?

> I totally forgot about it and didn't mention it again. Saw you for that final time last year (you know the one)
>

Aye.

> - didn't bring up the subject then either.

You did, however, manage to bring up your dinner with considerable aplomb.

> Your curry situation was months earlier as a 'business lunch' preamble to a different commission altogether anyway.
>

Was it? I had the curry placed pretty definitely as post-Nostradamus. Anyway, balls to this 'business lunch' shite. I thought I was going for a curry and a chat about the minutiae of life with a mate. That I paid for it was primarily down to the fact that I understood that there had been a balls-up with the invoice for that cartoon and that I was embarrassed about it, having been the one who mentioned to his bosses that he knew a great cartoonist.

At the risk of sounding malicious, I'm trying to remember the last time you bought even a round, but we've already established that my memory is like a Swiss cheese, so I'm sure you bought a great many that I've completely forgotten about.

>I'm willing to accept that your memory is 'hazy' on the above events rather than an out-and-out deliberate rewriting of history.
>

You're so fucking kind. Most things tend to be hazy when it's just about the hottest night of the year, it's 2 years after the event and you're also trying to reinstall scanner and printer software while writing 800 or so words for the Oldie.

>I need to speak to a certain incommunicado somebody in order to pay it. But you knew that already didn't you.
>

Did I? Think whatever you like. I was just musing on the regularity of telephone bills. The arrival of mine every quarter is a constant source of entertainment.

>Mail me, you foul bohemian!

I would if I knew your email address. In the circs, probably easiest if you mail me first.
>lfbarfe@cheeseford.fsnet.co.uk

>Well, it was a bloody long time ago. I can barely keep my own tax stuff in order. Am I expected to remember other people's details as well?

Oh so why go to all the trouble of writing it out? I mean really! Dear me.

>At work, I tend to stay out of money conversations unless they directly involve me. If no-one from our place got in touch, sorry. Not my fault.

I never thought it was for a second. Just wondered if the money was recoverable after all this time that's all. I'm presuming it isn't then. Never mind.

>A distressing number of companies love any excuse to sit on your money as long as humanly possible.

I know - I've worked for Avalon.

>>You said you'd contact me to set a price.

>I doubt very much if I'd have said anything of the sort. Is it possible that I said that you should contact my editor yourself?

You said you'd sort it then contact me. Didn't hear from you, then forgot about it myself. It wasn't important. Just a small commission.

>You did, however, manage to bring up your dinner with considerable aplomb.

A situation you exploited to the max. Etc, blah.

>I had the curry placed pretty definitely as post-Nostradamus. Anyway, balls to this 'business lunch' shite.

Inverted commas - wasn't being totally serious there. We joked about it at the time.

>I thought I was going for a curry and a chat about the minutiae of life with a mate. That I paid for it was primarily down to the fact that I understood that there had been a balls-up with the invoice for that cartoon and that I was embarrassed about it, having been the one who mentioned to his bosses that he knew a great cartoonist.

No, no balls up. Chats and reference photos in nice brown envelopes. A meeting to discuss what you needed. And I'm no great cartoonist either.

>At the risk of sounding malicious, I'm trying to remember the last time you bought even a round, but we've already established that my memory is like a Swiss cheese, so I'm sure you bought a great many that I've completely forgotten about.

And what's the point of the above? Office humour? You know my financial situation isn't the steadiest in the world. Having said that, it doesn't seem to matter either way:

LF BARFE: We're all meeting up. Fancy a drink?

JOE4SOTCAA: Love to but I'm totally broke and hungry at the moment.

LF BARFE: Hey - don't worry about that. Come on out. We'll see you right.

JOE4SOTCAA: Fine.

(Later, in the pub)

JOE4SOTCAA: Sorry I can't buy a round, everyone. I'm broke.

LF BARFE: (very loudly) SO WHY DID YOU COME TO A FACKIN' PUB THEN, YOU TIT?!?

Hey ho.

>You're so fucking kind. Most things tend to be hazy when it's just about the hottest night of the year, it's 2 years after the event

About this time last year wasn't it?

>and you're also trying to reinstall scanner and printer software while writing 800 or so words for the Oldie.

I'm so sorry I didn't take the above into account. I could have just written 'Fuck you, you twisty bastard'. But I thought I'd give you some leeway there. As an old mate. Hey-di-bloody ho. Di-ho.

Di-ha.

>In the circs, probably easiest if you mail me first.

I don't think there's much more to say now.

Best just leave it, hey?

And you can read the next instalment of 'When Joe4SOTCAA met LF Barfe' in the next issue of When Cunts Collide. At all good absolutelynothings.

We now return you to your scheduled Daily Star thread.

>She big out font!

That's excellent!

You could be the next Harry Hill. It's funniest when I imagine it being said by Stoufer the cat.