I'm not going to tell you what, or indeed who, I am presently feeling you naughty little man.

I'd be glad to spew verbal for you though.

I'm sure scary weirdo will be up for this. Where ever he's got to now.

Are you Andrew Collins, perchance?

The Corpses = Joe and Mike. Email Rob Sedgebeer if you want to get in touch with them.

I would have thought e-mailing them directly would be the best way to get thier attention. Otherwise you'll just get a thread full of crap posts. Like this.

It's not Andrew ... it's Coogan tracking down the perpetrators ...

>Are you Andrew Collins, perchance?

I make no bones about it. Pseudonymns are for people with something to hide. I bet you all used to form rock bands at school just so you could draw up a list of crazy names to call yourselves . . . and then never played a note.

I've got "Unruly Butler" written all over the outside of my Geography notes, and I spent all yesterday in double Art drawing a poster for myself live at the Hammersmith Odeon. The logo had blood dripping from it and lightning flashes at the end of the R like Metallica would do but better.

Whereas TJ is actually my name. How dull.

Actually, I am called ymmto. My mother was a big fan of Japanese Naval Admirals and wanted to name me after one, unfortunately the vicar at the christening mumbled as he couldn't bring himself to say the name after losing a brother in the Pacific theatre and......um... how did you know about that band naming thing? Anyway, there is still plenty of time for Armjowls to make it to the top.

Oh course, I'm not really called Baby Coelacanth. My real name is Timothy Chocolate-Echidna.

I'd like to see the SOTCAAs get some press coverage. There are some interesting sub-tales to be told - HIGNFY transcript, 'will the real Jim Yoakum please stand up?', the 11OCS wars, Al Murray and piss, and so on.

Andrew Collins? You do that film prog on Radio 4. It's nice.

> 'will the real Jim Yoakum please stand up?'

He did, and missed the point of what people were saying and called them cunts. There appeared to be a minor encore performance of this late last year.

> the 11OCS wars

What war? As far as I could tell we all agreed it was useless, and then Topol (who wasn't Daisy Donovan's boyfriend at all, oh no) came on and called us 'sweaty students'.

> Al Murray and piss

He certainly talked a lot of piss, not least when accusing people of being 'lost in nostalgia' for having the temerity to like a programme that was (blimey!) eighteen months old.

>I make no bones about it. Pseudonymns are for people with something to hide. I bet you all used to form rock bands at school just so you could draw up a list of crazy names to call yourselves . . . and then never played a note.

Damn, you're good. But the fact is, I use a pseudonym because I genuinely hate and despise my real name. Also, just like masks were used in various African and Far Eastern rituals to instil power and freedom in the wearer, I believe that using an alias on the internet or simply in print is equally liberating. Believe me, if you've been yourself as long as I have, you would jump at the chance to adopt another personality.

Oh, and Andrew. POSEIDON ADVENTURE!

(Thought that'd scare you.)

And the Sally Phillips debate is an important aspect of SOTCAA's history.

>Oh, and Andrew. POSEIDON ADVENTURE!
>
>(Thought that'd scare you.)

It fucking did. Just don't say Airport '77 in capital letters.

(You know too much.)

>I'd like to see the SOTCAAs get some press coverage. There are some interesting sub-tales to be told - HIGNFY transcript, 'will the real Jim Yoakum please stand up?', the 11OCS wars, Al Murray and piss, and so on.

Being new-ish around here, give me one pithy line each on the aforementioned tales. Go on. I'm not "filing" my copy until tomorrow afternoon (Thurs). (I've never filed copy in my life - I've handed it in a few times though.)

>>But the fact is, I use a pseudonym because I genuinely hate and despise my real name.

Actually, no offence to Squidy, who has the same first name as me, if I remember rightly.

Some anyonmous producer (from Talkback I think) accused Sally Phillips of having slept her way to the top, and it inspired a big debate on these very pages. Richard Herring, bachelor of this parish and ex-boyfriend of La Phillips, got rather heated over the suggestion that she had just gone out with him to further her career.

My name really is Radiator Head Child; my parents were anagramancerinas.

(Don't mention my name whatever you do they still haven't got over the Boothby shrine trauma...and Unruly Butler in my room)

Is there any chance you could call the article "Them's the facts, Bucky!"?

I think that would look fantastic in fairly large print in the Observer.

It's a quote from Jim Yoakum, by the way.

Let's see if I can recall...I'm sure the good people here will remind me if I'm wrong.

HIGNFY transcript - you probably heard of this one. I believe the Corpses circulated a hoax 'transcript' of out-takes from the show, purporting to reveal some, umm, *unpleasantness* on the part of Sir Jimmy Saville. The part in question apparently being 'a rancid pus-filled cock'.

Jim Yoakum - the script to the fabled lost Graham Chapman/Douglas Adams show from the early 70's was made available on the site. But Chapman's literary executor Jim Yoakum asked for it to be removed as it breached copyright. Much debate ensued in the Forum, with Jim Yoakum seemingly slagging off every man jack of us with obscenities and unpleasant accusations. One of his posts ended in the now legendary rejoinder "Them's the facts, Bucky!" However, it seems this rude-Yoakum could have been an imposter. We're still not sure.

The 11 O'Clock Show Wars - after repeated criticism of the show here for its unfunny and often homophobic and similarly mean-spirited material (particuarly the joke about Dudley Moore's illness), several of the show's writers responded to forum posts with varying degrees of constructivity. Some argued that they were simply trying their best on a difficult project. Others were rude and made fools of themselves.

Al Murray and piss - Opinions were divided over his and Herring's pub-com "Time Gentlemen Please". The Corpses lampooned him in a cartoon flinging piss over his adoring fans. Some liked it but were accused of brownosing when Murray and Herring came on the Forum to defend it. Herring (and especially) Murray's responses on the Forum were often construed as patronising.

Um, that's how I saw it. Please, slap me people if I've got it wrong.

But obviously the best thing to do is ask Joe & Mike directly about it. It'd be refereshing to see that 'questioning anti-fansite attitude' get a look in for once.

>I'd like to see the SOTCAAs get some press coverage.

What ever happened to 'LET'S ALL BE ELITIST'?

I say don't do it, the lower the key the better. Words to live by?

>I say don't do it, the lower the key the better. Words to live by?

Give up.

> I believe the Corpses circulated a hoax 'transcript' of out-takes from the show... Please, slap me people if I've got it wrong.

*gentle slap*

The Corpses did no such thing - although the fake transcript was a Corpse production, it was created to fool one specific journalist, and was not intended for public consumption. As I recall, they were fairly appalled when it leaked out and did the rounds. In fact they still don't like talking about it.

They were very scathing about people who fell for it (me, for example), claiming that it was a blatant fabrication. It is, however, a brilliant and wholly plausible bit of writing - except of course for the central allegations concerning the fragrant Mr Saville.

What is the point in Simon Pegg - Corpses say they started the thread as a joke (after the fact...), lots of Pegg fans get annoyed, and the man himself looks a bit non-plussed. I imagine.

Aye, but them lightbulb jokes were bloody tops I reckon...

>What is the point in Simon Pegg - Corpses say they started the thread as a joke (after the fact...), lots of Pegg fans get annoyed, and the man himself looks a bit non-plussed. I imagine.

I remember the BEMli getting riled about this, and didn't Pegg visit the forum and say he didn't mind (or care)

And of course, the various fights that have taken place...

The ruck over "The Big Booth Two" still looms large in the memory...

>The Corpses did no such thing - although the fake transcript was a Corpse production, it was created to fool one specific journalist, and was not intended for public consumption. As I recall, they were fairly appalled when it leaked out and did the rounds. In fact they still don't like talking about it.

So, just out of interest, why had it been uploaded to this website in the first place? (It had a hidden link from one of the pages, IIRC.)

An 'annonymous' linked it to the forum

>And of course, the various fights that have taken place...
>
>The ruck over "The Big Booth Two" still looms large in the memory...

Brooker v Steven, (which soon turned into Steven v Forum), was always worth a chuckle

Where is Steven these days?

>An 'annonymous' linked it to the forum

Maybe, but it was also linked from one of the 'main' SOTCAA pages (I forget which - the "Comment" index maybe?).

If it wasn't meant to be seen, why link to it?

"it was also linked"

yes, i would've mentioned this, but i couldn't be bothered. Still, the hidden area of the website's a good place to put something to confuse a journalist. after all, they might think it's actually part of the site (it certainly looked like it IIRC)

I liked it when we all took turns in ripping the piss out of sitcoms. I vaguely remember writing something about three fireman. Was one of them gay?

'vaguely recall'? yeah right, you're still trying to sell the fucking thing aren't you?

>I liked it when we all took turns in ripping the piss out of sitcoms. I vaguely remember writing something about three fireman. Was one of them gay?

STEVE: Are you sure you're up to this?
MICK: Yes, Melvin, have you been feeling yourself recently?
MELVIN: Ooh, well I can't get anyone else to, dear.
(Audience bursts, showering the cast with moist head matter.)

Or something....

Do you have a giant searchable database of past SOTCAA messages? I'm imagining lots of flashing lights and switches, like the Bat Computer in Batman.

>I'm imagining lots of flashing lights and switches, like the Bat Computer in Batman.

I'm imagining how nerdy you must be. Ha.

>I'm imagining lots of flashing lights and switches, like the Bat Computer in Batman.

Eerily accurate. Also large valves and bubbling test tubes. I really must clear up in here.

Nerd.

*selotapes (or any other reputable brand) glasses back together in the middle*

>>I'm imagining lots of flashing lights and switches, like the Bat Computer in Batman.
>
>Eerily accurate. Also large valves and bubbling test tubes. I really must clear up in here.

Are you sure it's not more like Graeme Garden's cardboard computer in The Goodies?

>>>I'm imagining lots of flashing lights and switches, like the Bat Computer in Batman.
>>
>>Eerily accurate. Also large valves and bubbling test tubes. I really must clear up in here.
>
>Are you sure it's not more like Graeme Garden's cardboard computer in The Goodies?

Would you like another quadratic equation?

More like BOSS from the Doctor Who story 'The Green Death', by the sound of it.

I once placed a joke advert for a Green Death appreciation society somewhere. One of the activities that they supposedly indulged in was singing BOSS' episodes four and five tune.

Three people responded to it, clearly believing it to be real...

>More like BOSS from the Doctor Who story 'The Green Death', by the sound of it.
>
>I once placed a joke advert for a Green Death appreciation society somewhere. One of the activities that they supposedly indulged in was singing BOSS' episodes four and five tune.
>
>Three people responded to it, clearly believing it to be real...

And I'm still waiting for my bloody membership card!