The depressing thing is, LOB doesn't really work as satire because the real thing is much the same.
Just wait till there's a story on Yahoo News pertaining to religion... then go to the discussion board they start for it... and get your latest fix of creationist/bigoted garbage.
The "Hellbound Homos" T-shirt is probably already being bought by genuine right-wing "Family Unit" nutcases, and worn on protest marches. They already wear "God Hates Fags" T-shirts. You'd have to be mad to buy one for-a-joke.
>LOB doesn't really work as satire because the real thing is much the same.
I think there's still a place for it. The reaction engendered among believers and unsuspecting non-believers alike by stories like "Tampons: Satan's Little Cotton Fingers" frankly makes it all worthwhile.
They are aware of the tissue-thin membrane between their parodies and the real thing, though, which is why more and more they're going out of their way to rile Fundamentalists by simply quoting genuine scripture straight back at them ("Stone disobedient children", etc) - they don't have to make this shit up.
Actually, although this wasn't a Landover production, here's an e-mail along those lines which has been doing the rounds for the last couple of months (so chances are you've already seen this). No source is quoted.
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Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned in any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura
penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet:
Dear Dr. Laura,
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them.
1 When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
2 I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3 I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell ? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
4 Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
5 I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?
6 A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?
7 Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some room for negotiation here?
8 Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
9 I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10 My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people
who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your devoted disciple and adoring fan
>The "Hellbound Homos" T-shirt is probably already being bought by genuine right-wing "Family Unit" nutcases, and worn on protest marches.
Then I look forward to seeing the looks of puzzlement on the faces of the decent, god-fearing people behind them when they clock the "GET YOUR ASS TO CHURCH!" emblazoned across their backs.
>8 Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?
That one's easy. The punishment should fit the crime, so obviously you should cut off their hair.
>>The "Hellbound Homos" T-shirt is probably already being bought by genuine right-wing "Family Unit" nutcases, and worn on protest marches.
>
>Then I look forward to seeing the looks of puzzlement on the faces of the decent, god-fearing people behind them when they clock the "GET YOUR ASS TO CHURCH!" emblazoned across their backs.
If it said "Satan's got a red hot dildo waitin' for ya!" then I'd wear it.
It actually says "Hellbound Homo" (singular) which puts it in a slightly different light, wouldn't you say?
The CafePress international shipping policy is at:
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