But how many episodes will be on the tape? And perhaps you could supply a cover image for it?

>perhaps you could supply a cover image for it?

Associated Press:

Thousands of copies of the new comedy video 'Time Gentleman Please' were today confiscated by the police after public complaints about the "obscene" and "upsetting" nature of the front cover. Retailers had not been warned about the extremely graphic illustration, which involves a bald and mutilated Hitler having his legs broken by two masked men, while in the background the show's writer Richard Herring appears to be ritually sodomized by a grinning Rupert Murdoch.

"My twelve year old son wanted me to go to a recording of the next series with him," said one shocked mother. "Now I know what sort of a show it is, I'm not letting him anywhere near that kind of filth."

A spokesman for the police said tonight that it was proving impossible to identify the artists responsible for the picture, as they had managed to completely conceal their identities, but they are understood to have fled to Leicester.

The video is due to be re-released next month, with a replacement sleeve featuring a Polaroid of Jane Root wanking.

Guffaw, etc...

Leicester? Blimey, you're slow...

But where's the pints of piss? Surely an oversight in the graphics department? (I assume SOTCAA has a graphics department - and that they own a building a bit like the BBC but with SOTCAA written on the side, and big pictures of Mike and Joe stuck on it, grinning aimlessley from the walls at passers by. Whilst holding a radio tastefully. And doing something else. Perhaps with speech bubbles. Yes.)

No, don't stop. Carry on. It's quite good.

The DVD will have a running commentary. Which will just be me and Joe going 'oh, for fuck's sake' every five seconds.

Ssh, Mike. Er, they're not paying us for it or anything though. We mean it maaaaaaaan.

Surely the commentary would consist you two saying "this is a similar joke from an rare episode of 'it ain't half hot mum' that has been wiped by the BBC, but they did it much better, the fuckers... look there's that cunt Herring doing another cameo... and what kind of fucking character is THAT!..."

Coh, i could do this commentary thing easily - how much do you get for it, and how many pints of Al Murray piss can you buy for that?

>Surely the commentary would consist you two saying "this is a similar joke from an rare episode of 'it ain't half hot mum' that has been wiped by the BBC, but they did it much better, the fuckers... look there's that cunt Herring doing another cameo... and what kind of fucking character is THAT!..."

Yay. Exactly how a running commentary should be then.

>Coh, i could do this commentary thing easily - how much do you get for it, and how many pints of Al Murray piss can you buy for that?

I'm sure you can access the current Dow Jones index for the exact exchange rate...

Do you and Mike both constantly talk in sarcastic, sneery voices, or is that an image i've created in my head through lack of thinking? Because, hey, that would clearly make you perfect for the TGP DVD release.
Or perhaps you could do the comments it all in a serious way:
"Now this is a really funny bit, just watch how he releases this fart..."
"Wow, that's fnatastic Joe! Much better that the show, whatever it was called, where that bloke fell through a bar!"
"You mean Only fools and horses, Mike?"
"yes that's what it was called! My brain had temporarily been frozen by all my laughing at that last joke!"
"Yes, briliant wasn't it? But wait... who's this? Its the postman. Now here's a little known fact for you... that postman is actually Richard Herring, who is my best mate in the world..."
"Why, you fucking liar.."

And people thought there'd be serious discussion about comedy here...

I'm sure your sarcasm is just a smokescreen for an inner need for serious discussion.

And Mike and I actually have the least sneery voices you could ever imagine. As such, how could we ever compete with you and Mogwai?

When does TGP finish? And I suspect the SOTCAA review will follow soon after? I really hope you really do a detailed analysis of this show, not for any perticularly sneery reason from me, but because it just baffles me how awkward the show is. And with people like Lee & Herring and of course Murray working on it, it can be so awkward and overacted and under rehearsed at the same time. I just want a really detailed look at the behind the scenes aspect of the show (Perrier - Murray - BBC - SKY etc) and a laborious look at the actual finished programme. I just can't pin down all the things in word that I notice and would appreciate some kind of other kind of view on it.

I know Herring and Lee are good usually, and I know Murray's original character was very domaneering and world-wise, but in the programme he's just like a weird sparodic panto character. I hope you stuff that fake episode guide in it too, I found that funny even before I had seen the show. How many videos is the show gonna be on? 22 episodes.. sheesh, why couldn't they of just written 6 strong episodes, and save themselves a lot of work and bad reviews, Americans can write that many because they sometimes have 20+ writers, Murray and Herring are 2 people, it's silly, or just greedy for American networking.

>I'm sure your sarcasm is just a smokescreen for an inner need for serious discussion.
>
>And Mike and I actually have the least sneery voices you could ever imagine. As such, how could we ever compete with you and Mogwai?


Stranger and more peverse still, i actually get enjoyment out of the show, and laugh at it. HA ha ha. I'm going to stop all this now.

>>And Mike and I actually have the least sneery voices you could ever imagine


Actually I think Mike does have a very sneery voice. It's the lisp that does it. However, Joe, you are just an insecure fat goth.

q

>Actually I think Mike does have a very sneery voice. It's the lisp that does it. However, Joe, you are just an insecure fat goth.

Mike doesn't have a lisp. I don't know where you got that idea.

I may be fat but I'm neither insecure nor a goth. I wear nice bright T-shirts and have comparitively short hair these days. And I have a lovely smile. The fact that I've never directed it in your direction might say something about your character rather than mine.

Lisps, fatness, insecurity... And you moan about us making personal attacks? Oh no, of course, you're doing it as a 'satire' on what you imagine are our methods, right?

Whatever. Have a nice Christmas anyway.

>
>Mike doesn't have a lisp. I don't know where you got that idea.

I think it must be from hearing the way he talks. Makes me laugh when he says, "I haven't got a lithp"
>
>I may be fat but I'm neither insecure nor a goth. I wear nice bright T-shirts and have comparitively short hair these days. And I have a lovely smile. The fact that I've never directed it in your direction might say something about your character rather than mine.
>
So you've finally got rid of *that* t-shirt. Well done.
You're right, you've never directed a smile my way. You were too busy directing it at my younger sister. (A few years yet Romeo)

>Whatever. Have a nice Christmas anyway.

And to you.

Oh, and I forgot to say that Rob as bad teeth.

I suppose you'll slag off Bent Halo next. Yawn.

>I suppose you'll slag off Bent Halo next. Yawn.

No. I know nothing about him.
I know that doesn't stop you slagging people off, when you can pick up your ready made opinions from this handy site.

Odd isn't it, that a site set up with the avowed aim to make people ask questions and have their own ideas actually ends up with people just agreeing with whatever it says. Without question. Or ideas.

bye

Not really Qwerty, I don't agree with a lot of the Corpses articles, but do agree with a lot of others obviously, or I wouldn't be here, everyone is different, I doubt no two people have the same opinions about everything. For instance, I really don't like Time Gentlemen Please, but am interested in reading the Corpses forthcoming article on the subject, do you really think if they actually say it's good that I'm going to change my mind? They've actually avoiding saying anything directly on the program for months until the series finishes, this is perhaps too much, but it shows they're not outrightly slagging everything off at the first chance.

If you don't like the fact that the Corpses don't like Dave Gorman, write a nice argument about why he's good in your opinion, with examples of what makes him good, you're never going to get reconciliation from calling people names. I don't like Dave Gorman, but it's a lot easier for me to just call him crap rather than write a long article about what he is, which is what the Corpses have done to justify many of their opinions, if you want to challenge this, then do the same.

qwerty -

And on and on it goes...

>Odd isn't it, that a site set up with the avowed aim to make people ask questions and have their own ideas actually ends up with people just agreeing with whatever it says. Without question. Or ideas.

We can't win then. As far as you're concerned, if people don't agree with our arguments then it's proof that we're crap. If they do, then they're just being sycophantic. What options are left - to just set up a site with no opinion, no room for feedback and a lot of fawning? There's plenty of room on the web for all that. We've chosen to do things differently, that's all.

As for the rest of it. Bean isn't 'ugly' in the slightest. I really don't know how you can say that. That's just ignorant. But it ties in with other comments:

>(re:Mike) I think it must be from hearing the way he talks. Makes me laugh when he says, "I haven't got a lithp"

He doesn't say that. He's never needed to on account of the fact that nobody has ever said 'You've got a lisp'. Mainly because he doesn't have one.

>So you've finally got rid of *that* t-shirt. Well done.

Which T-shirt do you mean? I don't have any Cure shirts which might account for this 'goth' accusation. I have a black Nirvana shirt which is of sentimental value though. I wear it with a colourful waistcoat these days to reflect my happy-go-lucky demeanor.

I apologise if I've worn said shirt on more than one occasion during the very few times we've actually met.

>You're right, you've never directed a smile my way. You were too busy directing it at my younger sister. (A few years yet Romeo)

I've never met your sister. I didn't even know you had one. This is pure fiction.

And you know as well as I do that any 'Romeo' situations have been purely for amusement purposes. We both know I'm no sex-God, nor would I ever claim to be.

>Oh, and I forgot to say that Rob as bad teeth.

No he doesn't. He has a lovely smile too.

Don't really know what else to say over this one. It's well up to the standard of your usual tactics. I'd call a Christmas truce if I didn't think you'd all just roll about the place in sneery girlish cackles. It's there if you want it though. You know how to contact us.

If not, as I've suggested before, why don't we just do our best to stay out of each others' hair. You have your world, we have ours. We're obviously never going to agree on anything, comedically. It'll all just end in tears. Mine, probably, since I'm so insecure! But I'm sure you'd enjoy that.

Again, Merry Christmas.

"Odd isn't it, that a site set up with the avowed aim to make people ask questions and have their own ideas actually ends up with people just agreeing with whatever it says. Without question"


Ha ha, its funny that this has been posted on the thread where i earlier stated i liked Time Gentleman Please (just above the first outburst by qwerty) and, you know, the corpses don't. Ha ha. More ill informed opinions. Do you know Dan L?

No, but her sister does, I'd imagine...

Hey Joe, looks like we'll just have to go for that orgy you've been promising. Bagsy me with the KY and your cute, curled tongue...

>Hey Joe, looks like we'll just have to go for that orgy you've been promising. Bagsy me with the KY and your cute, curled tongue...

You big gay whore. You know your way around. Help yourself. I'm feeling particularly relaxed at the moment. Bin the KY - remember Oily Moily's dirtiest hit - 'A little spittle / It'll do the trick...'

>Bin the KY

Thirty seconds in the microwave and you will note the difference.

Well roll me over and call me kinder suprise! I'm sure as hell turned on by the pair you. When's this orgy, when, WHEN, WWHHEEENNNNN!!!!

Now baby. We've all got trains to catch...

Now which womanly orifice shall we go for first, Joe?

Such a choice... I fancy a Bean feast, personally. That'll kill two hours.

And qwerty reckons she'll comply with anything the Corpses say too. Take me, Alison (or you'll get no more opinions out of us!)

Room for one more on top, qwerty. A few hours of hot love now, and Ross Noble's face will be all but wiped from your data pack.

'Danger, Will Robinson...'

Ooh, don't bite...

Sorry...dropped an A. All the colour drained out of my font...

Joe darling, I'll bring the Beans and Carrots and you provide the Welsh Rarebit. Oo'er.

Care to enter the Yorkshire Gay? Much goodness on tap.

Shall we all have sex on the bar as usual?

Yeah, it's cold outside. Joe, can I receive your opinion please?




Oh, that's better.
I'm.....Alan.....Partridge....was.....rubbish......yes!....yes!

That's dirty talk where I come from...

I'll be over here if anyone wants me.

You still standing there, Mike? Never mind, spectating is more fun. Er, sometimes.

>I'll be over here if anyone wants me.

...and next week on 'Two Nude Men Discuss Python Edits...'

>Hey Joe, looks like we'll just have to go for that orgy you've been promising. Bagsy me with the KY and your cute, curled tongue...

#Hey Joe, where you going with your dick in your hand...#

(sorry)

Fornicators.





(just wanted to point that out. Carry on.)

>#Hey Joe, where you going with your dick in your hand...#

Somebody once used the phrase 'Hey Joe, where am I going with this pun in my hand' in a letter. I did laugh.

>Somebody once used the phrase 'Hey Joe, where am I going with this pun in my hand' in a letter. I did laugh.

You didn't lambast them for using lazy reference comedy and tell them it wasn't nearly as good as their last letter, then... (etc) :-)