Oh, I, er, failed a course because I never bothered to show up. It was early in the morning and I need my sleep.

Using a girlfriend's parent's toilet only to find there was no loo roll. Rather than shout down for some, I used all the bits of paper and tissue I could find in my pockets.

Tried to take Eng Lit and Maths 'A'-levels at a school where those subjects were timetabled simultaneously. Had to drop the Lit and take Chemistry instead. First step on the path to the dullest undergrad experience imaginable yielding a mediocre Physics degree and a coupla years on the dole.

Fast forward through a clutch of joyless IT jobs and a persisting belief that I can never make it as a writer because I don't have the academic grounding (though, obviously, it's far more to do with being a lazy no-talent).

"Academic grounding"? Whoever believed writers need that? Apart from academic writers.

>"Academic grounding"? Whoever believed writers need that? Apart from academic writers.

Oh, true - it's just that most of the best writers I know personally (and I'm not talking about comedy exclusively) seemed to hone their talents in that kind of academic environment. They have a great way with structure and argument-building which seems learned rather than innate. I can chuck a few neat phrases together, but when it comes to fleshing out a longer piece, I'm flailing. Meanwhile, chums of mine bung another 500-word gem up on their websites daily and I'm marvelling - "oh, that's what three years of History and a working knowledge of 20th-century philosophy does for you".

Just bollocks really - the inferiority complex of the literate scientist towards the 'pros'. Plenty of gag-rich terrain in the sciences, anyway...

>Using a girlfriend's parent's toilet only to find there was no loo roll. Rather than shout down for some, I used all the bits of paper and tissue I could find in my pockets.
>
>

A similar thing happened at my first day of work. I don't want to expand too much, but all I had in my pocket was train tickets.

I'm hugely bitter about my mediocre Physics degree also. I wish I'd done something nice in college (journalism, communications), but I was 17 when I went and I just picked it randomly, because I quite liked science.
I still get annoyed thinking about it.

it's a tie...

a foolhardy belief in not revising due to excessive blagging abilities in exams.
Sadly it's rather hard to blag computer exams in Excel if you couldn't be bothered to learn the formulae...

my inante ability to underestimate how much i've drank and be a tit is another. choice example: last fridays "i don't need oven gloves to get that glass container out of the hot oven!"
owwww

>>Using a girlfriend's parent's toilet only to find there was no loo roll. Rather than shout down for some, I used all the bits of paper and tissue I could find in my pockets.


>A similar thing happened at my first day of work. I don't want to expand too much, but all I had in my pocket was train tickets.

Me too on holiday in Butlins. I was about fourteenish and only had two promotional leaflets for Marwood Zoo...

>I'm hugely bitter about my mediocre Physics degree also. I wish I'd done something nice in college (journalism, communications), but I was 17 when I went and I just picked it randomly, because I quite liked science.
>I still get annoyed thinking about it.

I can sympathise totally. I did Physics, Maths and Further Maths A-levels, but halfway through my Physics degree got totally disillusioned with it and just gave up trying. I actually have no memory of doing a single piece of work in my third year (I may have just blocked it out, but I'm not so sure.)

The fact that I'd got addicted to the internet didn't help of course.....

Ever talking to people I met on the net, because one of them turned out to be a serious wacko so I advise everyone to not meet or arrange any meetings with people on the net ever.

That and taking music gcse.

>Ever talking to people I met on the net, because one of them turned out to be a serious wacko so I advise everyone to not meet or arrange any meetings with people on the net ever.

O come on, all I asked for was an old pair of shoes and a lock of your hair. OK, and your parents' credit card details. Don't you trust no one RHC?

Gee

>Ever talking to people I met on the net, because one of them turned out to be a serious wacko so I advise everyone to not meet or arrange any meetings with people on the net ever.

Unless everyone else says they're fab, obv. Just in case I ever offer ot meet any of you in the pub and you run away screaming, then I will know someone's been spreading muck about me behind my back.

<Unless everyone else says they're fab, obv. Just in case I ever offer ot meet any of you in the pub and you run away screaming, then I will know someone's been spreading muck about me behind my back.

I don't care what anyone says subbes, I'm a weirdie.

>I don't care what anyone says subbes, I'm a weirdie.

I wasn't disputing that, darlin'. One look at your semen-smeared shirt gives it away.


Ahem.

So you're the one who stole my washing.

>Me? I shall tell you when we reach 50 posts.

Only 32 posts to go.

31

30.....Houston, we need some more personal tragedies over here.

And I met that wacko in L&H- nuff said!

Cheat.

D'ooooh.

Well, having a name like Radiator Head Child is bound to attract weirdoes isn't it!

Aaah but I don't use that name there, I use my real name most of the time...

Still think you should listen to Robyn Hitchcock, RHC.

Who, what and wwhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhy?
And should I take advice from someone involved with that much rubber?

'Balloon Man' is a Robyn Hitchcock song.

And we both know who sang your name.

:)

I sold all my Beano annuals. Foolish Phil.

I bought all Phil's Beano albums. Doh.

I thought I was a nice person...

... until you bought your first jar of honey and unleashed your inner demons, huh?

gah!

my mum threw out all my old beano annuals when I was younger.

some of them were really old ones that my dad had collected as well.

grr!

I still have all my Beano Books (DC Thompson comics always had Books, not annuals). I still get one every year.

1978 is still my all-time fave. Remember Plug saying "Yuk! It's a Yak?"

>1978 is still my all-time fave. Remember Plug saying "Yuk! It's a Yak?"

Scarily enough, yes...
Smiffy rules!

But you were minus 7 in 1978.

Don't be ageist!
Boo*ks are quite solid*, you know, and strangely *enough still exist, some even printed pre-1978!
*
Aaaah the *magic... of* Mr. Gutenburg.

What - Steve??

No Johann!

Joanne?

Heehee, so Joey baby, your little 'encounter' in Torbay has led you down the path of transexualism eh? *shakes head* My my, Tim Curry certainly is powerful, or was it the dry cleaning fluid that did it? I was going to ask if pissing it had done you some damage, but it didn't even get as far as your kidneys did it you old toilethuggingfloorsleepingBUDGIEKILLING scamp!!

Heheh... buuuudgies.


And you know, he went on to almost get run over _again_. I'd have thought he'd take the hint...