We too find this forum invaluable.

Who the fuck is Mitch Benn?

You'll find out soon...

I guess you're some chancer trying to get exposure by bandying your name about a forum you know knowledgable people to read?

And Al Murray, Stewart Lee and some tossers from 11OCS all use the forum, so no.

Caroline: Read my top comment... what I wanted to know was why RH and I are the only ones who use our real names...

And if you've never heard of me (perfectly understandable) i can't imagine what I've done to invite this kind of hostility. I use this foru7m because I like to read, and occasionally contribute to, informed conversation on comedy, it being my abiding interest and profession. I do so under my own name because I believe that if you're going to use the net to disseminate your opinions you should have the balls to put your name to them.
Who are you? Not being snide or disparaging, just wondering...

hey why is everyone being nasty to Mitch he is kind and sweet and I know because I've heard him on the radio... hang on didn't think that arguement through very well...

What do you get if you cross George Formby with Eddie Murphy?

Someone you don't want to know, much like Bernard Manning...

Eehh... if you were my daughter I'd still be bathin' you.

That's a bit perverse!

I think that's the idea... he (Bernard Manning) said that to a woman in the audience, in a clip on a tribute show last night.

And the answer to the George Formby/Eddie Murphy one was "Turned out nice, motherfuckers?"

ohh I see

Hello Mitch.

I saw you at the Reading Festival this year - I was utterly bollocksed and frankly would have laughed at Jim Davidson the state I was in, however you were quite good. The Raymond and Mr Timpkins Revue were the best, but you weren't far behind.

Grendel, you are wrong.

Mitch Benn was indeed great, with his slightly-political end-of-Sixth-Sense-ruining (cheers for that, Mitch) comedy songs. The Raymond and Mr Timpkins Revue were the biggest pile of sub-6th form "surrealism" that I have ever had the misfortune to see. The pair of twats that do it should fuck RIGHT off and never, EVER attempt comedy again. They weren't just bad, they were an embarrassment. May they be working in McDonalds for the rest of their humourless lives.

Please insert the phrase "horse wank" at an appropriate point in the above message.

Oh, go on.

We had the Beano round here a couple of times until someone called Walter the softy a cunt.

Isnt the Raymond and Mr Timpkins revue something to do with Mackenzie Crook?

Wouldn't surprise me.

Wasn't Bob Mortimer once championing Mackenzie Crook as a good new comedian? When did his judgment get so fucked, then?

Does Crook still do "Funny Business" on late night ITV?

"Wasn't Bob Mortimer once championing Mackenzie Crook as a good new comedian? When did his judgment get so fucked, then?"

Whilst walking from one ad agency to another...

Hello, I'm Graham Garden. You may remember me from such programmes as "The Goodies" (you know, the one that is RACIST) and "Bodymatters" (I once parted someone's buttocks once as a demonstration of how gay men get AIDS!).

I'm not really Graham Garden, I just thought it would be HILARIOUS to post under the name of a real comedian.

Unfortunately the real joke turned out to be on me as I spelt my name wrong. It's actually Graeme not Graham. Whoops! Oh well...

Much love!

Hello, I'm Bill Oddie. You may remember me from TV's hilarious "The Goodies" and not much else (unless it's to do with twitching).

Just thought I'd let you know that I've been using this forum for ages, but have been too much of a cunt to actually communicate with any of you, believing as I do that you are all common worthless scum. Now FUCK OFF.

Mitch, I'm a comic too, but as I live in another country it doesn't really count.
I reckon I'M more of a chancer than you, by the way.

(Actually, I'm a performer/producer so I tend to employ myself a lot)

You're right, Janet. You don't really count.

Well, how do any of us know you've done stand-up in your life?

True. None of the other contributors have seen me.
Hmmm....there's pictures of me standing on stage speaking into a microphone, but that could be me saying "number 54, your steak and chips are ready".

Stewart Lee and Boothby Graffoe both did my comedy night when they were here for the Comedy Festival. They'll have to vouch for me.

She's fibbing.

>Hello, I'm Bill Oddie. You may remember me from TV's hilarious "The Goodies" and not much else (unless it's to do with twitching).
>
You can't be the real Bill Oddie because you'd be coming out of HMV & ignoring all of us.

<walks away>

>hey why is everyone being nasty to Mitch he is kind and sweet and I know because I've heard him on the radio...

I thought he was bitter on the radio,actually.

>Caroline: Read my top comment... what I wanted to know was why RH and I are the only ones who use our real names...

Mitch: Read Caroline's comment. She mentions Al Murray and Stewart Lee, both of whom post under their real names.

BTW - whoever made the 'bitter on the radio' gag - top stuff!

>She's fibbing.

I've got photos 'n' everything.

Prove it. Give us a link to them.

And we want profile shots, where you can see if there's really an audience there.

And a sound file of you saying your comedy-words and them laughing. So we know it wasn't staged.

Janet, I've seen them, you gun-toting cyber-fox.

Sorry, don't know what came over me.

Ooer vicar.

>Ooer vicar.
>
> aah, so you are a comedian then

Paul & Grendel... thanks for your words of kindness re Reading; thought I did ok considering I was twenty-five yards away from the main stage while Slipknot were on.
Janet... producer and performer and you book yourself a lot... so that's where I've been going wrong. My mum's maiden name is Macleod (with the extra "a" in Mac... properly Scottish).

Mitch, when you make your own work the only one who can fire you is you.
Mind you, I have dropped me from the lineup a couple of times this year....hmmm...

Mitch, hello- I haven't got your e-mail so I can't ask direct, but it's Paul here and I was wondering if you'd finished with the Making of Hitchhikers video I lent you back in the Out There days...!

[email protected]

Cheers

Yeah, and you owe me a fiver and everything.

Cue Mitch's comment:
(sometime on Sunday afternoon)

Erk! where is Mitch am worried now!

Right here. And my reply is in the Bedazzled strand. Hey everybody...