I heard they've been a bit busy this year and, what with one thing or another, they haven't actually got us anything and will be sending us all cards with gift vouchers to buy DVDs, with little notes in explaining how they think it's best this way because we can choose what we want and that we should get something nice for the kids and perhaps it would be good to meet up some time in the new year?

The Lenny Henry Stand Up Show
I'm not kidding.

League Of Gentlemen Christmas Special....

Yule Never Leave...

>The Lenny Henry Stand Up Show
>I'm not kidding.

Stand-up's what he's best at. Seriously. If you're only really aware of him as that dull headmaster/chef bloke, then you've missed out. I mean, he wasn't the most stunning stand-up you've ever seen, but he was a bloody sight more interesting than he is now.

Also, in the last few (non-acting) things I've seen him in, he seems to spend far too much time singing, which is not his greatest talent.

Yeah but he's not even writing his own stuff this time...

Lenny Henry did one of the best solo shows I've ever seen... back in '88 he was doing a colleges/smaller venues tour (showing me age) which came to Liverpool Uni. He did most of his characters of that era (Theophilus P. Wildebeest, Delbert, Deakus, Low Down Left Hand Hound Dog, Joshua Yarlog etc.) but with NO COSTUME CHANGES apart from the occasional hat. Just the power... of... suggestion... Show lasted about 2 hours. Fabulous.

>Yeah but he's not even writing his own stuff this time...

He's pretty much always used writers. Personally, I don't have a problem with that - his real talent is in the delivery and warmth towards the audience.

And he's got a fookin' lovely smile.

Ho Ho Yoakum - a compilation of all Graham Chapman's sketches ever to mention Christmas

There's going to be a "Newsnight" Christmas special with Kirsty Wark dressed as an elf.

You're turning me on...

The best Christmas special ever.. or at least of last year.. was "The Bill" Christmas special. It featured Brian Murphy as an elf, and finished on a suggestion that Father Christmas was real. Even thinking about it is making me fancy a mince pie.

Oh yeah... I saw a bit of that. wasn't there a visiting Ukrainian choir dressed as Santa as well?

It just shows how far The Bill has drifted from its realist roots. I mean, Fr Christmas! They'll be saying there are detectives that take bribes next.

Apparently there'll be a Christmas version of I Love the 1970s called I Love Christmas.

>Apparently there'll be a Christmas version of I Love the 1970s called I Love Christmas.

There was going to be tv years xmas shows for 1988, 1983 and 1980, but they got pulled, when it dawned on them it'd be the same old stuff in every show. Apparently, this is a clip from the tape:

Ricky Gervaise: I remember 1980 well. They showed *The Wizard of Oz* that year.
Jamie Theakston: Wow! that was like came out in 1939. I can remember that. There was this war thing just starting. Really cool.
*Clip of Toto peeing on tin-man's leg to cry of *I'll rust now, yer dirty little f-*
Stuart Marconie: Yes, *Oz* as it was called in the playground was a real treat in 1988, sorry, that was 1983. Oh, we're doing 1980 are we? (Director shouts *CUT* at this point).

I read a rumour that The Queen might be doing a xmas broadcast.

I won't watch if they're singing with 5ive again.

5ive set a great example to youngsters. They show that anyone can be successful, even if they look shit and have no talent.

Bet RHC loves 'em, though. At least she did until she discovered Boothby Graffoe.

Other bands I hate:

1ne
2wo
Thr3e
4our
6ix
Se7en (film was good though)
Ei8ht
Nin9
10n (n.b. not 'Ian')
and
E11even

I'm glad you didn't attack the marvellous 2wenty-6ix.

Not 4getting Nine One One.

Or Bstarwitched

Ah, but will there be any crapola Xmas discs, Cliff Richard, Shite Girls, etc; some loons and their *wacky* song? And will there be a charitee song?

The Wombles.

>Bet RHC loves 'em, though. At least she did until she discovered Boothby Graffoe.

Don't assume things. Have spent the last few years hoping ignoring them would make them go away. (Well it worked with Beckham, didn't it?)

Bye then...

Christmas Treats?

How about repeats of The Goodies.

That'll NEVER happen...