God I love you guys, you're my besht frenz

<passes out>

Frank Zappa:

Catholic girls with thier tiny little moustaches

The fear of flooding made me type 'thier' instead of 'their'.

"The old women are there, too old to give a damn, they've brought along the kids, who don't know who I am, they're thinking about the price of my funeral bouquet, what they're thinking isn't nice, for now they'll have to pay, ha ha-ha haha hahahah"

"I'm soaring over hushed crowds, I'm propelled up here by long-dead dreams"

people are always prepared to wipe their feet / on anything with 'welcome' written on it

andy (we are not worthy) partridge

j xxx

"Put your head on my shoulder, now I've got two heads..."
Boothby again

"They say plenty more fish
I say Amoco Cadiz
Now she's keeping two chevrons apart"

The book of love is long and boring
no-one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures
And instructions for dancing
(Magnetic Fields)

(Thanks for the Chalkhills, TJ)

I'd also like to nominate Bill Clinton's favourite Country & Western song (according to documentary this week):

"I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling"

Why think of posterity?
Why should they admire us?
All the heroes of Valhalla
Weigh less than a virus

Momus - "Morality Is Vanity"

I'm the man who serves the laughter
To the drunkards of disaster
After they've got plastered on the news
I've got the situation comedy blues



Momus - "Situation Comedy Blues"

Special AKA(?)

I said freeeee some old fella

"I only know what I was searching for, another you so I could love you more"


Sung in sarcastic Swedish accent

>I'm the man who serves the laughter
>To the drunkards of disaster
>After they've got plastered on the news
>I've got the situation comedy blues

<flinches>

Richard, I'll try to transcribe the full lyrics of 'Situation Comedy Blues' ASAP for you.

It's about a sitcom writer who has a nervous breakdown after his wife leaves him, so he starts writing a sitcom about a sitcom writer writing a sitcom about an Asian family living next door to a gay couple.

"What's a laugh?
The sound of common sense falling apart
What's common sense?
A million unthinking hearts
At the end of the working day
And who am I?
Comedy barman, standing waiting for the workers
To drink their woes away

[CHORUS:]
I'm the man that serves the laughter..."

All I can remeber for me. Very postmodern. And great.

All I can remember for now, I mean. What a strange typo.

Er, I should clarify that that wasn't Richard Herring (clue: the quotes around the name). It was just a little joke. Sorry.

Lyrically The Cramps make me laugh more than any one else. eg:

"gets me higher than Queen Kong's twat." (Cramp Stomp)

"Your block and tackle cock exploits" (Queen of Pain)

"Loads of people across the land
Do a prescribed death dance
While condemning speed and grass
They got an addiction like a hole in the ass"

- The Fall, "Rowche Rumble"

Someone got shot dead round here
People left flowers
By the Ribena stains
On the pavement

- ANIMALS THAT SWIM

(It looks like a haiku typed out like that. Cool.)

If you like a lot of chocolate with your biscuit, join our club

Put another nickel in
In the Nickelodeon
All I need is your sweet love
And music, music, music.