EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years Posted Thu Nov 2 21:24:51 GMT 2000 by Justin

Well, it is and it has been. Pseudo-depressive, crassly sentimental bilge for people to congratulate themselves on their relatively stable lives. Together with Casualty, it has almost single-handedly seen off the single play and intelligent drama from most of the BBC schedules, and means that what we now have to look forward to for the rest of eternity is programmes like:

"Layers"
Tamzin Outhwaite stars as Polly, a female bricklayer in a man's world. Written by Tony Jordan. Also starring Rebecca Wheatley as their no-nonsense boss. Theme tune is "Building A Bridge To your Heart" by Wax.

"To Baldly Go"
Quirky comedy drama starring Steve McFadden as Derek, who is a barber, but hilariously, has little hair of his own. Written by Andrew Collins. Also features Sarah Lancashire as his feuding ex-wife who lives in the upstairs flat.

"Singing For Her Supper"
After Lucy Gannon's original suggestion of Barbara Flynn is rejected by the BBC, Pam St. Clement plays a nightclub crooner in this new onbeat drama. BBC head of EastEnders Mal Young insists that she be called Pearl, so that they can have "Pearl's A Singer" as the theme tune.

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Gee' on Thu Nov 2 22:14:40 GMT 2000:

Yeah but don'tcha wanna see Ian Beal lose his business? Best fish 'n' chips in Walford.

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By TJ on Thu Nov 2 23:40:54 GMT 2000:

It has always been, and will always remain, absolute codswallop. Its only ever saving grace was the brilliant Billy Bragg parody circa 1986.

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Al' on Thu Nov 2 23:42:08 GMT 2000:

>It has always been, and will always remain, absolute codswallop. Its only ever saving grace was the brilliant Billy Bragg parody circa 1986.

Explain please?

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By TJ on Fri Nov 3 00:18:28 GMT 2000:

Sharon and Kelvin's band was managed by an hilarious Bragg-alike name Harry (pronounced "Harroy")

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Justin on Fri Nov 3 08:03:32 GMT 2000:

>Sharon and Kelvin's band was managed by an hilarious Bragg-alike name Harry (pronounced "Harroy")

Ah yes, The Banned - "Something Outta Nothing". What I loved about that was the way that that synthesiser riff which opened the song and is supposed to underpin the whole song just didn't fit! Harry was played by a bloke from North Wales called Gareth Potter, who actually was in an indie band at the time (got interviewed by the Maker round about then), so he seemed a bit embarrassed.

Yeah, all that was quite funny. But it was 14 years ago now. Can we kill EastEnders off?

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'PJ' on Fri Nov 3 11:41:22 GMT 2000:

You seem to not a lot about it Justin, considering you don't like it. Why don't you just calm down, and watch a decent, well written and thought out drama like, say, Hope and Glory. Phew! - what a quality show.

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jon' on Fri Nov 3 11:55:06 GMT 2000:

No, watch Attachments.

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'PJ' on Fri Nov 3 12:08:35 GMT 2000:

Damn you Jon, for thinking of a better show than me...

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Anonymous' on Fri Nov 3 15:23:51 GMT 2000:

Also, they always make the characters undergo completely incongruous personality changes whenever they run out of plots. Wife beaters turn into loveable rogues and back again.

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By TJ on Fri Nov 3 16:45:24 GMT 2000:

Somethin' Outta Nothin' was the song that epitomised the era of its release. It wasn't just SO 1980s, but SO 1986...

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Radiator Head Child' on Fri Nov 3 18:19:25 GMT 2000:

what an entirely accurate thread name (no sarcasm)
1986, including my first birthday ahh, what nonexistant memories...

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Al' on Fri Nov 3 18:23:45 GMT 2000:

>Also, they always make the characters undergo completely incongruous personality changes whenever they run out of plots. Wife beaters turn into loveable rogues and back again.

Yes - I gave a name to this "Wilmot-Brownization" - after the fairly likeable toff who was introduced into EEnders, and then a few months later, with no warning, raped Kathy.

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'tim_e' on Fri Nov 3 19:03:00 GMT 2000:

>>Also, they always make the characters undergo completely incongruous personality changes whenever they run out of plots. Wife beaters turn into loveable rogues and back again.
>
>Yes - I gave a name to this "Wilmot-Brownization" - after the fairly likeable toff who was introduced into EEnders, and then a few months later, with no warning, raped Kathy.

Or Carol's dad, who seems to be trying to get off wiht Dot at the moment. Didn't he used to be an extremely unpleasant racist?
>

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Justin on Sat Nov 4 08:44:25 GMT 2000:

>You seem to not a lot about it Justin, considering you don't like it.

Um. Yes, well I was 16 then.

Perhaps someone could suggest that BBC1 broadcasts something else in primetime.

>Why don't you just calm down...

What, like the cast of EastEnders, then?!

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Unruly Butler' on Sat Nov 4 10:26:35 GMT 2000:

I don't really go big for EastEnders, but I enjoyed this week's departure of Mike Reid, with its echoing of the last shot of the Wicker Man, Pam St Clement howling like Edward Woodward over a final image of a burning straw effigy.

The Wicker Frank.

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Radiator Head Child' on Sat Nov 4 10:30:01 GMT 2000:

ooh, good comparison

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Peter O' on Sat Nov 4 19:51:01 GMT 2000:

So, Pat has now revealed her dark past as a prostitute... but at what price?

Subject: Re: EastEnders is balls, and has been for years and years and years [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Nik' on Sat Nov 4 23:54:14 GMT 2000:

Just half-watching the Queen story and am quite startled to see that Roger Taylor has turned into Phil Mitchell.

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