Eating spaghetti hoops with a spoon. I used to eat them really fast.

Making drum and guitar noises with your mouth, like they do in the Intros round in Never Mind The Buzzcocks.

"..and Britain have got an extra 6.4 points for attempting the flute part of Come On Eileen."

pee shooting - with a missing limb requirement.

Claiming things were better on the radio.

We have five world class competitors on here alone!

Claiming things were better on the radio.

We have five world class competitors on here alone!

Claiming things were better on the radio.

We have five world class competitors on here alone!

Multiple posting - with a missing digit requirement.

Well Kinder Surprise, like your name, it seems that you are more than you appear to be on the outside, externally appealing, but with a hidden surprise inside, which at later examination, turns out to be cheap, synthetic and worthless...

But that's no way to talk about the Teeny Terrapins..

Air Guitar
Alcoholic Misanthropy
Blindfold Ident Drawing
Twister
Casuallly hanging iconic things out of pockets

The 1500m laughing at bad puns race. Followed by the freestyle quoting lines from old comedy shows event.

I'd certainly train for both - quick where's that old joke book...

>Well Kinder Surprise, like your name, it seems that you are more than you appear to be on the outside, externally appealing, but with a hidden surprise inside, which at later examination, turns out to be cheap, synthetic and worthless...
>
>But that's no way to talk about the Teeny Terrapins..

Was that a come on?

Hehe, it was meant to go in the Steven Dan L thing thread, posted it here by accident. Maybe it was meant to be sycohpanticaly patronising, who knows?

Cluedo quiz machines....

Saying things were better on the radio.

>Saying things were better on the radio.

BZZZZZZ. Repetition. See first 'Anonymous' post above

>Hehe, it was meant to go in the Steven Dan L thing thread, posted it here by accident. Maybe it was meant to be sycohpanticaly patronising, who knows?

Trust me Steven I'm far too synthetic and worthless to be that deep.

Going off the subject at tangents so obscure it scares small children...

Getting five bars on your mobile phone.

Remembering lyrics.

Banging pots and pans in a slightly irritable manner.

Shouting.

Hangman.

800m Big Issue seller-dodging.

The 2 week Indoor Olympics Ignoring Event. I won a Gold for the fifth olympics running too.

Not going to bed.

I think I could get a gold medal for that. Failing that, I'd lead the field in Alcoholic Misanthropy (boki, that one made me frighten the cat with laughter).

Being a bit shifty - nothing you can quite put your finger on.

Flirting

Cockfighting.
Ballet.
Anagrams.
Paralympic vs able-bodied boxing.
Whistling.
Bulding a flying machine.
Becoming a dwarf.

Scrapheap Challenge
Paralympic The Weakest Link
Comedy circuit plagiarism

Last posting wasn't me, and I'm not bothered as to the real identity of the person either.[(yawns)]. Back to the subject...

Reading subtitles on foreign films.
(judged on speed and accuracy)

Holding conversations with senile pensioners.
(decided on level of senility, coherence and endurance)

Spitting.
(velocity and distance)

10km run being chased by a mad farmer with a shotgun across a muddy field.
(Survival event)

Dungeons and Dragons

Being called Alan.

Call My Bluff
Triple Integration
Quick Fire Joke Telling (we'd win with the fantastic Tim Vine)
Flooding Kent

Yokham Beating........ Chapman rules apply. (If you can get hold of them.)

"cockfighting"

which version would that be?

Watching Paint Dry

Slapping people on the bottom using a wet, rolled up towel in the showers.
or failing that:
Hanging a towel from your cock, whislt talking in a funny voice, in the shower.

Or was that just at my middle school? (needless to say, i didn't join in - my brain wouldn't let me)

Thighslapping
Projectile vomitting
Inadvertently causing offence
Self-righteousness
Being-a-pub-bore
Complacency
Petty crime
Petty violence
Petty-mindedness
Pettyness
Bloody-mindedness
Double Entendre
Sarcasm

>Thighslapping
>Projectile vomitting
>Inadvertently causing offence
>Self-righteousness
>Being-a-pub-bore
>Complacency
>Petty crime
>Petty violence
>Petty-mindedness
>Pettyness
>Bloody-mindedness
>Double Entendre
>Sarcasm
>

Was this one meant to go in the "LIVE FORUM 'TO DO' LIST" thread?

IT Support Excuses
Reading The Sunday Newspapers
Throwing Balls Of Paper Into The Bin
Inventing New Olympic Events (thus creating the world's first ever perpetual motion sporting festival)

frowning

wittering

pogoing

txt msgng

having a big face

Napster

Smelling of wee.

Geek Intimidation.

Drunken shoe throwing.

M/soft Manual Reading.

Cat scaring.

>Hanging a towel from your cock, whislt talking in a funny voice, in the shower.
>
>Or was that just at my middle school? (needless to say, i didn't join in - my brain wouldn't let me)

Would that be your big brain or your little brain? (Copyright: 'My Family')

>The 1500m laughing at bad puns race. Followed by the freestyle quoting lines from old comedy shows event.
>
>I'd certainly train for both - quick where's that old joke book...

Don't bother, Barry Cryer will win that one!

Starting irrelevant new threads on the forum that only get posted to by you under several psuedonyms. Winner - EVIL GAS BOTTLE

Discussing idents and spelling things oddly on purpose coz it's ironic/funny/post-modern on the TV Forum in an irritating and bizarre manner. Winner - EVIL GAS BOTTLE

Actually I quite like the work of EVIL GAS BOTTLE. They make me laugh, that McEvil Gas Bottle thing was funny, although it was better on the radio.

Bless your Nele Morisey loving toes EVIL GAS BOTTLE!

watching as many kungfu movies at fast speed as possible without being a student

breathing

Coughing

sleeping

non-fiction reading

long distance thinking

uniathlon

rearranging LPs into alphabetical order

making toast

weeping

>Saying things were better on the radio.

I'm going for gold, anyway. I've been in training for 20 years.

Incidentally, coverage on 5 Live of this event will piss on that offered by BBC Television.

Twitching.

Pressing your fingernails against a hot radiator.

Green Cross Code.

Being for the benefit of Mr Kite.

Forum posting

[Nobody's done that already have they? Just seems a bit obvious.]

Not reading previous posts in a thread.

Ambidextrous masturbation.

Cheese rolling.

Threadhopping

Cheese smearing.

Apple bobbing.

Fellatio.

Swearing

Pedal-bin operating

Throwing Peanuts and catching them in your mouth.

Milk Pouring (both carton and bottle disciplines).

Making excuses for not going to the gym.

Channel surfing

broadsheet newspaper folding

living in the past

100m dusting

tape compiling

putting the rubbish out

not moving

lying

sitting

potato peeling

adding suggestions

filling in complaint forms with stupid remarks

ambivalence

chiselling

genocide

making rubber skidmarks with trainers.

hiding inside a box

topical satire

edit spotting

Half Man Half Biscuit Special!

Writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro on a Saturday night instead of going down the pub.

Doing the Len Ganley stance

looking for a proper transformer

remarking on how Brian Moore's head looks uncannily like London Planetarium

transporting Ywengie Malmsteen in your van

hating Nerys Hughes

etc.

Writing to Channel 4

Go to bed, you're not well.

Uhm, that was meant for Al, not you TJ.

Well, I should be going to bed anyway.

Alone.

With XTC on the stereo.

And the question of when Brass Eye will be repeated haunting my mind.

And nightmares about idents.

>Go to bed, you're not well.

reminds me of the old Steve Punt gag

"Women tell me I have 'go to bed' eyes. They take one look at me and say 'go to bed.'"

making sarcastic comments

trivialising everything

pretending your life is isn't a mess and that you will be able to follow the career you want despite careers advisors useless advice.

poignioncy

literacy

Viciouly insulting The Littlest Hobo

Onions

Fiddling (demonstration only)

Too many Nat King Coles

Chewing with your mouth open

Twins

Diseases

RULES ARE AVAILABLE ON REQUEST. THE WINNER SHALL BE NOTIFIED WITHIN TWENTY-EIGHT DAYS OF THE COMPETITION HAVING TAKEN PLACE (IF NON-FATAL). YOUR DETAILS MAY BE PASSED ON TO OTHER OLYMPIC EVENTS.

>Viciously insulting The Littlest Hobo

Yeah, stick me down for that one. There seemed to have been a bit of revisionist balls spouted in favour of its theme tune both before and afterits use in a recent ad. Funny, I could've sworn it was one of the most irritating things I'd ever heard.

Yeah, I noticed that too. Once boring, always boring, and the passage of time since you watched it as a kid does not make it any better.

Self-hatred

Aching

Crying

Misery

Drowning your sorrows

Tiddlywinks

Procrastination.

Faffing.

Gadding about.

Cribbage.

Bugger your neighbour.

Muttering

Quoting the Simpsons

Cynicism

Rescuing old threads.

Alternating between making Ewar laugh parts of her anatomy off, and annoying her furiously.

???

You have never annoyed me furiously. (Have you?)

Not being able to remember makes her really mad...

Which bits fell off, btw? Nothing too drastic, I hope.

>???
>
>You have never annoyed me furiously. (Have you?)

No... it just sounded good!