Ian Collins and the creatures of the night Posted Mon Oct 30 17:11:20 GMT 2000 by 'kinder surprise'

Does anyone else know of him? Talksport's late night host and he's apparently good friends with Danny Wallace and Dave Gorman thus a regular plugging of Dave's show. Callers are even invited to call in about it. How many media personalities has Gorman infected?


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Max' on Mon Oct 30 17:18:05 GMT 2000:

Yes. He can be quite funny but then he spoils it all by revealing quite reactionary Tory prejudices. Also he does that annoying thing whereby he is polite and sympathetic to callers but as soon as they ring off he says "Tosser". Plus he sounds quite bored a lot of the time. Plus whenever he gets a young woman caller he gets quite sexual. Don't know about the Dave Gorman connection though.


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'kinder surprise' on Mon Oct 30 18:35:54 GMT 2000:

Mrs.Mad of course is one of the undiscovered comedy genii of the airwaves. She's hilarious. Real life drunked thespians are where the world of comedy should be headed.


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'kinder surprise' on Mon Oct 30 20:08:19 GMT 2000:

For anyone interested in hearing clips of the infamous Mrs.Mad go to:

http://www.voiceofthecommonman.com/clips.html

She's great.


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Radiator Head Child' on Mon Oct 30 21:18:14 GMT 2000:

adore Dave Gormans voice. Have never seen the man and kinder surprise obviously has deeper obsessions than me.


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jake Thingy' on Mon Oct 30 22:19:02 GMT 2000:

My friend Agnew claims that everyone who calls into Talk Radio is, apart from being mentally insane of course, either from the south-east or, for some reason, Scottish. At least Mrs. Mad slightly contradicts this by being from Scunthorpe, originally. "Do you know Barnes? Well you should do, you stupid...." Wonder if she was telling the truth about being a drummer.


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'kinder surprise' on Tue Oct 31 13:17:54 GMT 2000:

Most of them are also lorry drivers, and every so often you'll hear them remark on near-accidents they are making occur while on their mobile.

"And yeah...once you've got a taste for urine you're up and away. It shows me wife I love 'er...SHIT where's me hazard light?


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Me' on Tue Oct 31 15:53:32 GMT 2000:

He thinks people who are HIV+ shouldn't be allowed near children. And also that the sight of two blokes kissing is something that should be reported to the police ('It's different with lesbians though - I think they're gay in a different way...').

So he's a cunt, basically. Like most shock jocks, a ball of contradictions caused by not seeing enough sunlight.


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jon' on Tue Oct 31 16:04:57 GMT 2000:

When will people ever learn? There is nothing clever about being a mass of contradictions. It just means you haven't thought your ideas through properly, and therefore they mean nothing special to you, despite how much noise you might make.

If someone was a mass of paradoxes, however, that would be a different matter. I'm one myself.


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Max' on Tue Oct 31 16:13:01 GMT 2000:

Jon, as a mass of paradoxes, do you enjoy the writings of G.K. Chesterton? The fiction, I mean, not the essays.


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jon' on Tue Oct 31 16:19:08 GMT 2000:

I have only read The Man Who Was Thursday, which was disappointing given what I expected. I will get round to reading some Fr Brown stories eventually.

A more interesting lover of paradox and the mystery of things was Jorge-Luis Borges - he of the famous comment that the Falklands War was "2 bald men fighting over a comb".


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Max' on Tue Oct 31 16:28:49 GMT 2000:

Ah yes. Love him too. 'Funes the Memorious' about a man who cannot forget anything. The protagonist gives each number a different name. I think he gets up to a million. Or thereabouts.


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jon' on Tue Oct 31 16:32:19 GMT 2000:

A while since I've read him but...

"Garden Of Forking Paths", "Emma Zunz", "The Immortals", "The Library Of Babel", "Tlon, Tertius Uqbar"... loads of others are all brilliant.


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Max' on Tue Oct 31 16:34:31 GMT 2000:

Tlon, Tertius Orbis, Uqbar is my favourite.


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jon' on Tue Oct 31 16:39:05 GMT 2000:

Yeah, I can never remember the title right.

I forgot to mention "Death And The Compass", which Alex Cox did a decent film version of back in '92, although he did bugger about with the story (trying to "put his stamp on it as a director", no doubt).


Subject: Re: Ian Collins and the creatures of the night [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Max' on Tue Oct 31 16:45:41 GMT 2000:

Oh you're back here, you thread-hopper you. Yes, Alex Cox's Death and the Compass was good but it was better on the page. Have you seen Lars Von Trier's 'Element of a Crime' starring Michael Elphick, of all people? It used basically the same trick Borges used in D and the C.


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