>The thing I remember was a book called "How To Be A Wally" by Paul Manning, which was a proper paperback book with lots of close typing and everything, that came out about 1983 and was a big seller. I thought it was really funny when I read it when I was 11. Alas. Who was Paul Manning and what did he do next?


I had this and the sequel 'Superwally' - I seem to remember laughing at them more than any other book I've read. Unfortunately, I lost them - and would dearly love to read them again to see if they're still funny.

Any ideas?

There was one called "The Complete Naff Guide", which listed everything that any right-minded person would not like to see their name attached to. I can't remember who wrote it, as I lost my copy some years ago, but I loved it. Anyone know any more about it?

I got a copy of Alistair Beaton's Little Book Of Complete Bollocks for Christmas last year, which was fascinating, because it should be impossible to parody TLBOC without being funny. He managed it, though.

>There was one called "The Complete Naff Guide", which listed everything that any right-minded person would not like to see their name attached to. I can't remember who wrote it, as I lost my copy some years ago, but I loved it. Anyone know any more about it?


It was written by three people, one of whom was William Donaldson, he of 'Henry Root' fame. And that's all I know.

>There was one called "The Complete Naff Guide", which listed everything that any right-minded person would not like to see their name attached to. I can't remember who wrote it, as I lost my copy some years ago, but I loved it. Anyone know any more about it?

It was by William Donaldson, writer, satirist and sleazebucket (his BOTH THE LADIES AND THE GENTLEMEN told of his time living in and running a brothel). Also creator of Henry Root, and a much under-rated fellow, with a real genius for picking out cliches.

TV-related bits in the Naff Guide included "The All-Time Naffest Parkinson Show", with "Utterly Mad Actors (to put Parky in a good light)", O'Toole, Ollie Reed etc., and Diana Rigg and Helen Mirren listed under "Actresses With A Mind Of Their Own (who then go and tell smutty and self-conscious anecdotes)", "Naff Dr Whos", who were William Hartnell and "the wet vet", and in a hint of things to come, Colin Baker listed under "Naff Actors".

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>>The thing I remember was a book called "How To Be A Wally" by Paul Manning,
>
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>I had this and the sequel 'Superwally' - I seem to remember laughing at them more than any other book I've read. Unfortunately, I lost them - and would dearly love to read them again to see if they're still funny.
>
>Any ideas?

My brother got HTBAW for Christmas in 1983. Might still be at my mum's house. Al - are you *sure* you want me to investigate?


>

I have in front of me here not only How to Be A Wally but also Superwally.

I too found them very funny when I got them in 83/84, but haven't looked at them since the 80's, I reckon. I'll have a flick through...

I remember "The Barron Knights" being listed under Wally bands, and a before/after picture of a Wally house. Plain semi becomes stone clad, has coach latern fitted by door and has Ford Capri propped up on bricks in the driveway.

>I have in front of me here not only How to Be A Wally but also Superwally.

I have in front of me here The Complete Naff Guide.

It claims to be written not by the bloke mentioned above, but by Dr Kit Bryson, Selina Fitzherbet and Jean-Luc Legris. They could be pseudonyms, but the brief bios given seem real enough. Apparently Dr K.B was developing "a major new Channel 4 series called 'Classwatching'", and Selina Fitzherbert appeared in Rutland Weekend Television, Life of Bran(?) and several episodes of The Professionals.

Unfortunately, due to what seems to be a printing error, between pages 80 and 97 I have a reprint of pages 49 to 64.

Naff Comedians:

Lenny Henry
Jim Davidson
Dave Allen
Terry Scott
Ted Rogers
Kelly Monteith
Tom O'Connor
Jimmy Tarbuck
Dickie Henderson
Max Bygraves
Kenneth Williams
Leslie Crowther
John Inman
Cannon and Ball
Bernie Winters
Little and Large
Morecambe and Wise

They WERE pseudonyms! Donaldson hardly ever puts his name on his books, the Henry Root Letters was even copyrighted to Root.

Dave Allen?

Morecambe and Wise??????

Dave Allen was not naff!

Kenneth Williams?

Ooooh, surely NOT, matron.

>The thing I remember was a book called "How To Be A Wally" by Paul Manning

Presumably the inspiration for "HTBA Complete Bastard" (Adrian Edmondson) and "HTBA Complete Bitch" (Pamela Stephenson), which appeared around '87/'88.

I remember being offered the latter as a freebie when I bought a tape deck from Richer Sounds about 8 years ago. I turned it down. Oh, those kerayzee hi-fi dudes with their free popsicles and their zany magazine.

Hmmm, idea for a sit-com...

There was one called 101 Ways To Piss People Off or something like that, written (hilariously) by Wayne Carr.

Wayne Carr????????

No, surely not...?

Cock-a-doodlely-doodley-doo not buy this book!