Sorry, that was me, forgot to put my name.
The same Mary Anne Hobbes who spent Blue Jam on a trolley, looking like an exploding pig?
Obviously Morris has softened his attitude to his fellow jocks...
>The same Mary Anne Hobbes who spent Blue Jam on a trolley, looking like an exploding pig?
>
>Obviously Morris has softened his attitude to his fellow jocks...
MAH has always sung his praises, though. I don't think he did the BJ thing to offend her, as it almost certainly wouldn't have.
Mike Morris or Johnny Morris?
What's the premise of the Bishop Slips sketch? Just a rude bishop?
It's Archbishop Carey's eulogy for Princess Diana edited into utter nonsense (or a nonsensical utterance, if you prefer. Here's the text taken from the SOTCAA Edit News: Blue Jam section:
"We give thanks to God. We give thanks to God. We give thanks to God. We give thanks to God for those maimed through the evil of Mother Theresa, whose death we treasure. We pray for those most closely affected by her death, among them Trevor The Sheep. Lord, we thank you for the precious gift of the sick, the maimed and all whose lives are damaged, and for the strength we draw from all who are weak, poor and powerless in this country and throughout the world. Lord, we commend to you Elizabeth our Queen, whose death may serve the common good. We give thanks, above all, for her readiness to identify with God Almighty, and for the way she gave sauce to so many people - her mother, her brother, Dodi Fayed...and many, many, many more. We pray for the Royal Family, as they discharge their members in Trevor Rhys Jones. Give them AIDS. Lord of landmines, hear our prayer. And now abideth faith, hope, love...these things. But the greatest of these is tortoise."
What's the 'Doc Rude' sketch (on the Warp Records site)? Is that something separate?
Yeah, Squidy. Would you just type out all of Blue Jam for us and stick it up here? Cheers
I didn't type it up. I just remembered that is was on the SOTCAA site, did a http://www.google.com search for Blue Jam, cached it and copied it.
So no, I won't.
>Yeah, Squidy. Would you just type out all of Blue Jam for us and stick it up here? Cheers
You forgot to add <points to anus>
Ewar, you're a nice young lady and all that, but don't disrespect the jaaaam...
Hey hey guys - how long is this Mary Ann Hobbs show anyway? I need to know what length tapes to buy.
It's never too early, you know.
You lot all know the story behind this sketch, right? You do know that it was deliberately written to be so offensive that it would instantly be cut by Radio 1 management, who would then hopefully be prepared to overlook the comparatively inoffensive cut-up George Carey speech (see above � cheers, TJ)? Because I'm not going to tolerate a flood of complaints about the following material if you're going to miss the point of the whole bloody exercise...
EDIT NEWS: Deleted material is indicated by square brackets.
[DOC: Right, now, Sarah Voose, isn't it? Well, do have a seat� Right, well, what seems to be the problem?
GIRL: Well, I've got a really sore neck
DOC: Okay, might I just have a little� How's that?
GIRL: Ah, um�
DOC: Bad? And this one?
GIRL: Mm.
DOC: Yes� Well� Look, there's not a great deal I can do, erm� You could take some painkillers, and apply hot and cold flannels to boost the circulation� And, erm� you could try sticking this under your arm.
GIRL: Ah� Okay, and� what is it?
DOC: It's Christ's cock and balls.
GIRL: Oh.
DOC: George Carey shat them out last Tuesday while he was buggering his daughter in the Abbey.
GIRL: Right�
DOC: Yeah.
GIRL: � What were you doing there?
DOC: I'd just popped in to say a prayer or two, and there was the fucker running around shoving religious relics up his arse.
GIRL: Mm. And they go� under my arm?
DOC: Yes, I know they're a bit sticky, erm� I'm not sure whether that's Christ's come-liquid, or whether it was from the dog that had just been emptying its balls into Carey's rather well-cushioned shit-sleeve.
GIRL: But it's okay, is it?
DOC: What, Christ's knob-glue? Yes... Mother Teresa had no problem and her twat was always full of it. She used to smear it on the necks of the sick wogs.
GIRL: Really?
DOC: Mmm. There was more of the Saviour's dick-snot in there than coke up Di's vag on that fateful night in Paris.
GIRL: Gosh.
DOC: Mmm. Well, let me know if you have any problems.
GIRL: Yeah. Thanks.
DOC: Bye-bye.
GIRL: Bye.]
>Hey hey guys - how long is this Mary Ann Hobbs show anyway? I need to know what length tapes to buy.
2 hours
>It's never too early, you know.
It might take you a few days to find somewhere still selling evil C-120s.
Yes, whatever happened to them?
I bet the Jam CD is 66 mins precisely to punish the home-tapers.
>Yes, whatever happened to them?
>
>I bet the Jam CD is 66 mins precisely to punish the home-tapers.
Yeah, coz tapes are really at the cutting edge of technology, and it's how all bootlegs are made nowadays.
;)
Bastards
Get knotted Metallica
>Get knotted Metallica
Get knotted! Superb! Another out-of-date expression I'd completely forgotten about!
Record it off satellite onto video and then dub it onto a C-60 afterwards (depending on how long Morris' bits are.)
Easy peasy.
"Yeah, coz tapes are really at the cutting edge of technology, and it's how all bootlegs are made nowadays."
Er, I was thinking of people who just wanted to make a copy for someone else.
Really cutting-edge bootlegs nowadays are made with computer-generated imitations of the band, rather than a recording of the band itself - a more advanced form of the techniques used in the "Top Of The Poppers" albums of the 70s.
>>Get knotted Metallica
>
>Get knotted! Superb! Another out-of-date expression I'd completely forgotten about!
Get knotted was used in The Goodies. You can work out whether that's out-dated on your own. Personally I think "get knotted" is and The Goodies aren't, although they are very old.
Getting back on topic, apparently Tim Brooke-Taylor likes Chris Morris' work.
They wrote the "Rude Doctor" sketch together.
>They wrote the "Rude Doctor" sketch together.
Tim Brooke-Taylor wrote with Chris Morris? Seriously???
Those of you who wanted Blue Jam transcripts there are some at http://fudgebucket.hispeed.com/chrismorris/bluejam.htm
>"Yeah, coz tapes are really at the cutting edge of technology, and it's how all bootlegs are made nowadays."
>
>Er, I was thinking of people who just wanted to make a copy for someone else.
I was referring to CD-R/MiniDisc/mp3.
And I feel I was being slightly bitchy about it. I apologise.
*sniff*
See, that's why no one uses cassettes anymore - all the quiet bits of your recording are drowned out by sniffing noises. It's a well-known recording phenomenon - tape-sniff.
Don't get me started on vinyl-cough.
CDRs are growing in popularity, although most people find their first few discs feature the suggestion of throats being cleared. Minidiscs, on the other hand, have a distinct undertone of phlegm.
All wax-cylinder recordings made during World War 1 feature the rumble of artillery in the background.
Itsacassetteisit?
DAT tape is now the industry standard because the cassettes are stored in Actifed cough syrup, removing any lingering traces of hacking snot.