Shake 'n' Vac

Annoying Adverts - They do exactly what they say on the tin.

that one for safestyle uk windows with that *extremely* annoying bloke with the glasses - can't remember his name.

I can't stand the "I like it" song advert with the kids singing either.

or any adverts where the kids try to act "grown up".

That advert with Frasier fucking Heinz in it, that's on every break on C5 in the afternoon (don't ask why that's on the TV)

"Frustating, isn't it?"

Yes, quite.

I can't stand that one for biscuits, with the supposedly cutesy kid and his mum winking at each other, BN or DN or something - as annoying as waking up after three hours' sleep, to find your clothes haven't dried yet and you've got a job interview in 45 minutes.

I work in a university, surrounded by catchphrase-loving students.

Hence my worst advert of the moment is "wazzzzzzzzzuppppppppp"

Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god.

Whazzzup is the WORST ad in years.

It's the equivalent of an Oasis song - everyone can sing along, it's in the key of drunk, it means nothing...

The last time the yanks were that annoying was when they claimed to have got irony, and started saying "Not" after everything...

BN, Safestyle, Franks Factory Flooring, Sunny fucking Delight, Pringles (that noiiiiise!, Kinder Eggs, any mobile phone ad, Tiny PC ad, Actimel.

On the up side, that new Lynx ad, the Turkish one, is smashing!

> Franks Factory Flooring

Is that the one with Mel Smith? How the mighty have fallen.

Well, not very far really.

Dunno, just a big fat shouty bloke! Extremely irritating.

Surely it's that "Have you been in an accident and would like to sue someone's arse off even though it *was* an accident?" one.

This is bound to sound superior, but I promise it isn't. But don't understand most of this thread. Can't abide adverts - it might be easier for me to list the ones that don't irritate me.

Except can't think of any. Sorry, this sounds so, so negative.

On the subject of Wassssup or whatever, is it true that some twat on The Priory thought it would be really funny to go up to a guard at Buckingham Palace and try and get him to shout Wasssuup? The guard lost his job, was what I heard on the radio. Oh my fucking sides...

Well, I'm with Justin. The last advert I enjoyed was for Fishermans friends that had two photos of anglers at the riverside and told you that you didn't have to sit motionless for hours on end to enjoy Fishermans Friend sweets.

Having said that, if I saw that advert these days, I'd probably refuse to eat said product.

Be anti commercial. Boycott all products that you see advertised. I do. But then, just about everything I like isn't mainstream, so it's not very difficult. I've yet to see clear spot smoked tofu being advertised on Television, but I would boycott it if it was.

AOL ads with that bloody ginger woman. Just how patronising is it possible to be?

AOL make me want to vomit anyway, homophobic bastards.

It's important to hate Pringles. It was bad enough before but that

PIZZA


PIZZA


PIZZA


PIZZA


one can stop making me cry at seven in the morning if it likes.

Crap-verts part 22:

BT

Karl Howman in Flash Ads

AOL > I'd love to see that mop-head get a virus. ha ha ha.....

Anything along the lines of *you're a pensioner, so buy before you die*.

Advertising aimed solely at children and encouraging pester power.

Suiii

PIZZA

boom boom boom boom

*cruuuuuuuuuuuunch*

PIZZA

boom boom boom boom

*cruuuuuuuuuuuunch*

PIZZA

boom boom boom boom

*cruuuuuuuuuuuunch*


NEAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!! Yep, that ad can make me weep for hours. I cannot bear to sit near anyone who eats crisps in that fashion!

Going back a few years, that bloody Mini Kievs one used to really do my head in. And anything with kids posing in 'cool' shades and/or dancing to an animated sweet 'DJing' at 'turntables'.

Oh, and the advert for Kellog's Idents.

Any cereal ads, especially 'Special K'.
Cheestrings
Anything with Gary Fucking Rhodes/Jamie Bastard Oliver/Worral Thompson
Asda ads
K1664
I like smirnoff ads....mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Any local radio one that features a copyright-skirting "almost the same but not quite" rewrite of a popular catchphrase.

Early 1990s examples heard on Liverpool Radio City:

"We'd use it, but... we're not hairy! We're not hairy!"

"Eat your shirt!"

It's too painful to recall any more...

Local radio.

The best we ever get is items similar to:

*there's piles of tiles at piles of tiles, tiles all in piles and at low low low piles of tiles prices, so when you want tiles, think piles, at piles of tiles, some scummy warehouse tax dodge lane luton, your legs will be broken if you do not keep up repayments*

ALL Old El Paso commercials especially the one where the checkout lady scans said taco product and the till beeps to tune of 'La Bamba'.

Whoever devised that advert should be made to clean out my kitchen.

The new 'TV revolution' ad, where the 'activists', dressed not unlike Citizen Smith,
invade a News broadcast. Then proceed to talk bollocks - finishing with the funny, line:

Newscaster: 'blah blah your in trouble, what's your name?'

Activist: 'Don't tell him John.'

Cunts!!!!

The advert that annoys me is the Quality Street ad with the woman who looks like Ross Noble, because I'm the only one who's fucking seen it and everyone thinks I'm mad! But I didn't dream it. Think about it. WHY would I dream something like that?!!!

Bloody Sky Digitial. "The Digit...Coincidently, exactly the thing I stick up at the television every time I see that ad.."

"AOL make me want to vomit anyway, homophobic bastards."

I don't know the story you're alluding to, please explain...

The Clover Advert, where the little kids wring their hands in an Al Jolson fashion and sing in high pitched voices which ricochet around inside my head like shards of salted glass. I'm not a big fan of that one.

The new 'hunky' Captain Birdseye.
I just prefer the old guy with the beard. Far better for advertising Fish Fingers, IMO.

The car ads that Jim Davidson was/is doing.
I can't believe that anyone would voluntarily let Jim Davidson advertise the sale of cars, never mind *pay* him for doing so... It's like asking drug smugglers to advertise P&O.

Babybel (however you spell it) cheeses. Not so much the one where it gets into the printing press with hilarious consequences, but all the others with the annoying music in the background.

Bloody Iceland penguins and that fucking annoying bloke.
Say no more.

Charmin toilet paper, with the bear that takes a dump behind a tree and then uses the toilet paper. It's intensely unpleasant.

You mean bears shit in the woods? Blimey!

You didn't *know* that, Jon?
I thought you knew everything...

I have problems with the concept of bears using loo roll and whether the used loo roll is left lying around at the base of the tree.

The version of the same add that involves meerkats (is it?) is worse, since they do their business in the branches of the tree, leaving it to free-fall to earth. Disgusting.

>"AOL make me want to vomit anyway, homophobic bastards."
>
>I don't know the story you're alluding to, please explain...

Steve Case has just made a personal donation of several million dollars to a foundation in America that believes gays can be 'cured'. The main part of this organisation is a school where children can be sent if their parents believe they may be gay or bisexual. This school, through aversion therapy and various other nefarious practices, attempts to 'cure' these children.

Well, that's America for ya, Land of the Free and all that.

Steve Case has been backtracking on this since it came out( oo-er) Theres an article on www.Theregister.co.uk about it ....

in any case a donation like that has to be tax deductable . So thats all right.

Yep, he's backpedalling so hard his pedals are gonna fall off. He's been very naughty.

horrible horrible adverts where people have to clean stuff- is hard work to watch them.
And the new Sky Digital ones, where they rip off the Pixar lamp shades.
I'm going to smash one of those dishes up if I get a chance.

Apologies to all those who find this incoherrant(?) It is.

I can't stand those Sky adverts - the bloke installing the dishes is enough to put me right off, as well as the fact that Sky annoying generally.

I always switch over when some scummy tory newspaper (nearly always the daily mail) plugs a "sensational' book serialisation, promising to spill all the gossip on some celebrity or other, as long as you buy a copy of their paper every day.

and the barclays adverts - they claim to be a nice bank, yet they're horrible to students.

much better to be with HSBC, who I can wholly reccomend.

oh, and as if that pringles pizza advert isn't bad enough already, the "pizza" bit doesn't even come in time with the music.

it annoys me intensely.

AOL also got a sailor fired from the navy for stating he was 'gay' on an online survey. You know, lack of online privacy and everythin'...as well as that their service is CRAP!!!

I think the death penalty is the only answer, that'll teach gAyOL to be such idiots!

I can't stand that man on the Direct Line advert who says "Crazy, isn't it? But every year thousands of people are just throwing their money away blah blah blah blah"

Also those BUPA adverts in which people are assailed by voices saying things like "Are you alright, Bob? You look as if you could do with help..." Cynical and manipulative.

Basically, every other advert is damned annoying. Someone should start a 'Adverts that don't irritate you' thread.

Actually, I'm going to.

Aghhh

Bupa and PPP healthcare.

"pay us a shitload of cash on the premise that if you get ill we will pay your medical bills"*

*does not apply to accidents, congenital conditions, injuries, new conditions, aches, pains, colds, hot flushes or anything that is medically related.

Well,
I quite like the Budweiser ad. Not to repeat over and over you understand. I just find it amusing. And I like the Penguins (Iceland) - Al comes out fighting. For pointless ads.

The Direct Line one with the guy throwing money - yes. How annoying is that? (Clue: very) The Fiat Punto ads - AAAARGH! Let's rehash some gender stereotypes in the name of irony and cars. Actually, pretty much all car ads. Especially those that feature what an old housemate termed 'gratuitous driving'.

TJ - those local radio ads sound fantastic/horrible. Can we have some more? (PS Justin has some crackers from his days at Swansea Sound - 'Gone for a Waltz in your car? Arthur Llewenyn Jenkins - where quality counts. And - I am not making this up -" why go walking miles and miles/When we've got it all at Glamorgan Tiles?")

Other examples of local radio torture:

A mock motor racing commentary on a family opening presents on Christmas day...

Two gravel-mouthed scouse girls discussing the merits of Joshua Kadison's excrutiating single 'Jessie'...

>Two gravel-mouthed scouse girls discussing the merits of Joshua Kadison's excrutiating single 'Jessie'...

So *that's* what happened to the Reynolds Girls...

Incidentally, local radio ads: parody is pointless. All comedy is, unintentionally, here.

Actually, it was two Brookside stars. Katie and Jacqui, I think.

What happened to The Reynolds Girls, sadly, is that one of them is now dead.

>
>What happened to The Reynolds Girls, sadly, is that one of them is now dead.

Erk. I made the same mistake with Fat Larry out of Fat Larry's Band years ago. What happened, TJ? (Not trying to be flippant anymore, I promise.)

I'm not trying to be nosy either, but weren't Mel and Kim the SAW product with a now-dead half?

That Nat West cartoon thing with the baby that runs across the ceiling and up the side of buildings and everywhere to try and sell loans to small businesses. Fucked if I can make sense of it.

The Daily Mail (again) *Peel to Reveal* advert aired last (Friday) night. Re-defines the meaning of crap newspaper advert.

>Other examples of local radio torture:
>
>A mock motor racing commentary on a family opening presents on Christmas day...
>
>Two gravel-mouthed scouse girls discussing the merits of Joshua Kadison's excrutiating single 'Jessie'...

There's one on Chiltern Radio that goes:
"Pop Along to Popler's Nursery, To Make Your Garden Grow!" It's worse than it sounds.

I will also add the Churchill ad from a few years ago, before they had the dog that sounds like Vic Reeves. They had a strangely excitable man who was very eager to tell us that "Churchill could save YOU money on YOUR car insurance!" So keen was he to promote Churchill that he gave us the number at least six times during the course of the advert. 0800 200 300, see, I can still remember it. Which means their brainwashing worked.

Green Giant is back on,
I always find the people singing at the end strangly compelling....

THE most annoying has to be Claims direct with that bloody scottish bird at a peculiar angle to the camera speaking to some bloke who use to appear on bbc tv somewhere and he walks through all the women 'working' at their desks and picks up some paperwork. It is so bloody obvious that it is chroma keyed and that none of the women apart from one of them actually existed in the first place. hmmm this seems to be getting a bit deep for me even....

Red Bull.
Designed by cunts.
Are those adverts supposed to be fucking funny or what?
Has anyone ever seen anyone laugh at them?
If that's not the point, than what is?
What is the point in Red Bull generally?
Bastards.

>Red Bull.
>Designed by cunts.
>Are those adverts supposed to be fucking funny or what?
>Has anyone ever seen anyone laugh at them?
>If that's not the point, than what is?
>What is the point in Red Bull generally?
>Bastards.

Ohhhhhh God yes! These adverts are THE MOST ANNOYING PILES OF EXCREMENT ON TELEVISION. AND THEY'RE STILL RUNNING AFTER THREE YEARS. Please stop, stop, stop. Can't they just show a load of 17 year old girls necking them down with vodka in a nightclub? That's the only context Red Bull is ever consumed in...

Ahhhh! Something I know about!

Red Bull is Marketed by Get Real! They're actually very nice people.
They are also the agency who handle Pot Noodle, Virgin Mobile and virginstudent.com

They realise that students are their major market, so they're embarking on a guerrilla marketing campaign around universities.
A few years back they came up with the Red Bull adverts and whether you like them or not (I don't. They're horrible) they are effective, as you associate the product with them immediately. Even with no spoken words, you'd recognise from the animation alone that it's a Red Bull advert.
And so the work is done.
An advert has been made that requires no thought on behalf of the consumer, thus appealing to a broad spectrum of pissed-up student types.
Success.

>An advert has been made that requires no thought on behalf of the consumer, thus appealing to a broad spectrum of pissed-up student types.
>Success.

ahh! The happy go lucky world of advertising...

Anyway Ailie - how was your party on Friday????

>
>>
>>What happened to The Reynolds Girls, sadly, is that one of them is now dead.
>
>Erk. I made the same mistake with Fat Larry out of Fat Larry's Band years ago. What happened, TJ? (Not trying to be flippant anymore, I promise.)
>

Linda, the eldest (blonde) one, died in childbirth about three years ago.

One of my friends knows Aisling (the other one).

>There's one on Chiltern Radio that goes:
>"Pop Along to Popler's Nursery, To Make Your Garden Grow!" It's worse than it sounds.
>
*Shudders* I know that one all too well.

Remember the (old) Letchworth Roofing ad?

Letch-worth Roof-ing chanted for thirty seconds followed by the phone number. One obviously wrriten and recorded in a tea-break.

Al: The party went really well. Thanks for asking!
In the end, about 60 people turned up and we only had a couple of gate-crashers, who were incredibly pleasant!
There was no damage done, and no problems apart from an accident with a cigarette burning an eye-lid and a guy puking down
the toilet wall because he was caned...
It was a good night and very chilled!

How was the piss-up in London?
Jon, did you find anyone who you could dominate as Emperor?

I wanted to come, but still no loan cheque... the bastards.
Next time I'll be there.... There will be no escape.
I AM EVILE!!!


IDSENT

IDEANTS


/----------\

O O

o

--------

EVILE AILIEEEE

It's going back a while, but...

COLDSEAL WINDOWS ARE THE BEST, DOUBLE TWO DOUBLE ONE DOUBLE FIVE!

...in a Wurzels style always made me reach for the off switch in about 0.003 seconds.

And the worst thing...

COLDSEAL WINDOWS ARE THE BEST, DOUBLE TWO DOUBLE ONE DOUBLE FIVE!

...was that they used to repeat it over and over...

COLDSEAL WINDOWS ARE THE BEST, DOUBLE TWO DOUBLE ONE DOUBLE FIVE!

...and at the end, I think it even went up in key...

COLDSEAL WINDOWS ARE THE BEST, DOUBLE TWO DOUBLE ONE DOUBLE FIVE!!!!!

Thankfully, everyone associated with the creation of this advert is now dead (or at least I can hope).

>Thankfully, everyone associated with the creation of this advert is now dead (or at least I can hope).

COLDSEAL WINDOWS ARE THE BEST, DOUBLE TWO DOUBLE ONE DOUBLE FIVE!!!!!

COLDSEAL WINDOWS ARE THE BEST, DOUBLE TWO DOUBLE ONE DOUBLE FIVE!!!!!

COLDSEAL WINDOWS ARE THE BEST, DOUBLE TWO DOUBLE ONE DOUBLE FIVE!!!!!

Coldseal Windows. There must've been about a dozen versions of it broadcast on the local GWR stations in may area.

*ArrRgHh!