See - I'm so horny I can't even type properly!

Excuse me, is this the orgy thread?

>Excuse me, is this the orgy thread?

Yes. Here, have a drink. Pringle?

Thank you. You're very kind.

Hello. We've just heard about the orgy? May we join in?

By all means. There's Vimto and Pringles for all. Do help yourselves.

Heh heh, I always suspected that orgies were awkward, stilted and dull...

>Hello. We've just heard about the orgy? May we join in?

Sophie Raworth and Tanya Beckett eh? Well I may be tempted...

Ooh look it's Al. <giggle coyly>

Hello Al & Ewar. Don't be shy. Feel free to join in.

That's a lovely tea set. Where did you get it?

>Ooh look it's Al. <giggle coyly>

This really is uncomfortably close to the fantasy land I live in in my head...

Oh what the hell. Hi girls!

Oh lord, who put this in the Twiglets??

>Hello Al & Ewar. Don't be shy. Feel free to join in.

I might if you hadn't started alone without us...

BHS. It's great. They gave me two spare saucers, which I thought was very thoughtful

Talk to us about idents, Al!

Look is anyone going to claim this?

And they gave me a free condiment set too. Rather fetching I think.

>Talk to us about idents, Al!

I mustn't talk of the idents. They are evil, and in league with nele morisey.

IDENTS

IDEANTS

Super. Where did you get those curtains?

Oh screw the sodding idents! Take us!

>Super. Where did you get those curtains?

this is a very BBC2 70s kind of orgy. Pass the Shake n' Vac...

Laura Ashley. The autumn sale.

Ah yes. The go well with the tablecloth.

>Oh screw the sodding idents! Take us!

Say no more...

<At this point we draw a delicate veil over proceedings, as Al enters a world of intense erotic passsion with his two favourite lust icons...>

Erm.. actually, does anyone mind if I put the telly on for half an hour at 11 o' clock?

mmff hmmrffmmm mmm muum mrrff mmmmrrm

Hi, sorry I'm late, I was laughing at the 11 O'Clock Show. Not for the reason they think though.

Quick, take my pants off before this becomes another 11OCS thread!

Is this hummous?

>Is this hummous?

It's funnier than the 11 o'clock show.



Sorry.


More breadsticks anyone?

Do you think you're fucking funny, you wankers?

Thanks Al!! That was fab!

Gotta run now! We gotta be up in the morning to front the BBC's new breakfast news show. xxxxxxxxx


PS We live togther, you know. And we share the same bed.

I must say, I thought that went swimmingly.

Anyone want this last walnut whip? Topol?

topol you ahevt been watned

stay awayr

Ah Clown! Just the fella! I have a present for you......

It's a medal for Distinguished Service in the Never-Ending Fight Against Idents! Idents!

You have done us all proud.

yes but the fight msdugy continuye

welaht and fame hes ingorned
actions is his reqrqard

I respect your integrity.

Now, if you'll excuse me .... I have to clean up this place. Crumbs everywhere!

The fun is only just beginning....

Sorry I have been unable to partake in all the orgy action. Maybe we could have another one when I'm over the flu and up to my usual levels of stamina?

I'm up for that!

Heheheheh.

Will yoou let me in if I br(ing some idents with me? I promis i'm not evel.

>Thanks Al!! That was fab!
>
>Gotta run now! We gotta be up in the morning to front the BBC's new breakfast news show. xxxxxxxxx
>
>
>PS We live togther, you know. And we share the same bed.

<smoking cigarette in state of deep joy>
They do you know.
<sighs>

>Do you think you're fucking funny, you wankers?

No. Why would we? If you don't like it etc. etc.

Mmm... Sophie and Tanya...

Ailie, Suiii... I missed the first one too...

*Thinks*
Topol? Didn't he have a big hit with 'China In Your Hands'?

And yes, we DO think we're fucking funny wankers.

From this angle, very funny wankers.

This is supposed to be an orgy. Stop wanking.

Dip?

(c) Fry & Laurie

Oh, excuse me! I didn't know this room was occupied...My, you ARE a fucking funny wanker aren't you!
Hee hee...Ooooh!
Hee hee....My goodness!

Now, Mr Morissey, I believe you've been a bad little boy then? Come here...

Tj, Suiii:

Sorry to hear that you both missed out too. Maybe we could have the first "LIVE FORUM THREESOME!"


Have you got those fluffy-cuffs handy, Suiii?

Wow - Ailie's volunteering to stand in for Liza Tarbuck!

Only if you bring the syrup...

I've already got it...

>Have you got those fluffy-cuffs handy, Suiii?
>

I'm nothing if not efficient!!

*dangles fluffycuffs*

I suggest wearing PVC*, for it's wipeability!






















*Or....nothing!

>
>>Have you got those fluffy-cuffs handy, Suiii?
>>
>
>I'm nothing if not efficient!!
>
>*dangles fluffycuffs*
>
>I suggest wearing PVC*, for it's wipeability!
>
>

>*Or....nothing!

This is very entertaining - but I have the feeling you've been getting some ideas from spying on my love tryst with two Breakfast News personnel... What a man gets up to with fluffycuffs and whipped cream is his own private affair...

FLUFFT COFFS ADN WIPPPED CRTEAM I`M INMTERSTED IN THI AL

YOU MUSTAS MAKE SURE THE CAZM IS NOT ECVLI


ANFM YOU MUST EB EXTEERMMLY CARREWFUL OF IDENAYS AND NELE


IDSENT

IDFEANTS

I AM WATCHING
REPAECT CLIOND AND EBFFOEGB


EGB MM

Well, I don't own any PVC, so I suppose we'll just have to find another way to remove the syrup, won't we?

Wonder how we could do that...











High-pressure hose?

Hmmmm.....too complicated, how about....no, too naughty! I'm sure you're all far too civilised for *that* suggestion!

Naked woman, naked man - where did you get that nice suntan?

It's not suntan, it's Nutella!

*winks*

*waves syrup at Suiii*

Right, help me round up some of the forum laydees, and we're all set!

Hey, the big lady's back! She was away for, like... hours!

AHaa, Ive gotten in at lasxt. Anyone up for some hopt ident-on-ident action?% hAHAHAhar. Oops I forgot not evil not evel.

Ah, shut up. Go and make a substandard sitcom.

Ah, Mr Morissey, I have been awaiting your return. *Grab*
Now don't struggle Mr Morissey...somebody pass me those fluffy-cuffs, thanks Suii... *shackles NM to bathroom pipe*
If you struggle it will only hurt more you know. *Morissey attempts to lash out but slips on spilt syrup*
Uh-uh-uh! Naughty boy! *Applies heel to NM's neck*
Clown, pass me that ident please...no, the large one. Thank you dear Clown. And now...what's that Al? No, we won't be requiring any lubrication thank you.
Bend over Mr Morissey, this will only sting a bit. Oh, did I say a sting a bit? I mean 'hurt more than you could ever conceive'.
*Bathroom door closes, 'engaged' sign clicks around, and unholy screams issue forth*

Hollyoaks without the pictures... which is better, of course...

Ahhh Ms Take, a laydee after my own heart! Any syrup left??

*g*

ARRG!

There is some syrup Suii, but I don't think you want to know where it's been.
Here, try this squirty whipped cream instead.
OOh! You surprised me then, naughty girl!
Well, it's over the knee for you as well...
You're next after Jon.

Waheeeeeey!

I can type the squirty cream noise, it's quite a worthwhile talent!


*sssqqqqqqxccccccrrrrzzzzzzxxxxh*

See?

*g*