The only ident you can wee Posted Wed Oct 18 12:54:47 BST 2000 by 'RB'

Shy Bladder or Public Toilet Syndrome is the strange affliction that men can suffer at a urinal, where they want to wee, but for some reason can't in the company of other men.

My cure for this is to hum the old seventies London Weekend ident tune. When I wee I then trace out the LW logo onto the urinal. It's the only ident you can wee, I think.

It never fails.

Surely I am not the only man to do this?

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jon' on Wed Oct 18 13:01:51 BST 2000:

Docherty&Hunter did a Friday Night Live sketch in which they claimed that thinking of the 13 times table was a way to overcome the problem. I have found this to be true.

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Charlie Brooker on Wed Oct 18 16:02:46 BST 2000:

In the book "The Mezzanine", Nicholson Baker recommends picturing yourself pissing on the head of the person standing next to you. And it works.

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jake Thingy' on Wed Oct 18 18:54:22 BST 2000:

My friend Dominic once did a shit in the shape of the ATV logo.

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'RB' on Thu Oct 19 08:40:34 BST 2000:

I want a picture of that!

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Bean Is A Carrot on Thu Oct 19 11:06:39 BST 2000:

You can piss the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) logo.

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jon' on Thu Oct 19 11:25:02 BST 2000:

I piss ON the ABC logo. What have they ever done that was any good?

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Bean Is A Carrot on Thu Oct 19 12:33:43 BST 2000:

>I piss ON the ABC logo. What have they ever done that was any good?

Co-produced the Singing Detective. (Which is very good!)

Also Ben Elton's TV adaption of Stark and they kicked some money in to make Her Majesty Mrs Brown. (Alright, that's not so good.)

They also make some excellent programmes which you British never see. Very few of them involving cookery, pets, gardening, surviving on remote islands or Barbara Windsor. (Which is EXTREMELY good!)

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Squidy' on Thu Oct 19 13:59:03 BST 2000:

There's NOWT wrong with Barbara Windsor, lass!

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Bean Is A Carrot on Thu Oct 19 14:07:05 BST 2000:

>There's NOWT wrong with Barbara Windsor, lass!

On the contrary there is EVERYTHING wrong with Barbara Windsor. Such as the fact that she's on every TV show that's bad and a few that are good.

And have you noticed that as time goes by her hair gets higher and higher and her skirts get shorter and shorter?

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Sam D' on Thu Oct 19 14:16:33 BST 2000:

Yeah, but whether you're a breast or a leg man, you're on to a winner with Babsy Windsor...

I suddenly feel very ashamed.

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'RB' on Fri Oct 20 10:19:31 BST 2000:

>You can piss the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) logo.

I thought it was Australian Broadcasting COMMISSION?

I've just tried pissing it, but ended up with wee on my feet. Also, you've got to be able to hum the tune to overcome PTS, and I can't think what it is.

I saw the ident when I was in Australia in Feb/March, so I know that Aborigines and small white girls can produce it in the air from their fingers. Nice trick.

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Bean Is A Carrot on Fri Oct 20 10:22:22 BST 2000:

>>You can piss the ABC (Australian Broadcasting Corporation) logo.
>
>I thought it was Australian Broadcasting COMMISSION?

No one actually knows whether it's Commission or Corporation. Given that like ever other public broadcaster in the world it's commissing less and become more coporate I think my version must be right.

>I've just tried pissing it, but ended up with wee on my feet. Also, you've got to be able to hum the tune to overcome PTS, and I can't think what it is.

"Da, da, da!" (It doesn't work in print, but it's TOPS!)

>I saw the ident when I was in Australia in Feb/March, so I know that Aborigines and small white girls can produce it in the air from their fingers. Nice trick.

But is it better than the BBC2 duck in the bath or somersaulting blue furry thing?

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'RB' on Fri Oct 20 10:44:14 BST 2000:

The ABC website says Corporation. I'm sure it used to be Commission.

My God. My own tediousness shocks me sometimes.

I think the ABC idents were lacklustre and trying a bit too much. Nowhere near as good as BBC2's.

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Bean Is A Carrot on Fri Oct 20 11:08:37 BST 2000:

>The ABC website says Corporation. I'm sure it used to be Commission.

I was right!

>My God. My own tediousness shocks me sometimes.

I know what you mean. I *STILL* can't believe I'm discussing idents. Maybe I should switch to one of the 11 O'Clock Show strands instead? Perhaps we should change this forum from the TV forum to the Idents and 11 O'Clock Show forum?

>I think the ABC idents were lacklustre and trying a bit too much. Nowhere near as good as BBC2's.

Except for (possibly) SBS, they're the best free-to-air TV idents in Australia.

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'RB' on Fri Oct 20 11:54:01 BST 2000:

OK, Bean. Now we've outed ourselves as the biggest dullards on the forum, do you know any Aussie ident sites?

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Bean Is A Carrot on Fri Oct 20 11:57:08 BST 2000:

>OK, Bean. Now we've outed ourselves as the biggest dullards on the forum, do you know any Aussie ident sites?

Nope. I've never been into idents.

If you like The Goodies I recommend this though:

www.goodiesruleok.com

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'RB' on Fri Oct 20 12:17:23 BST 2000:

Oh twat, fuck, piss! So I am the biggest dullard on the forum alone. I thought there was safety in numbers.

Goodies. OK. I was allowed to stay up late to watch it.

Subject: Re: The only ident you can wee [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Bean Is A Carrot on Fri Oct 20 12:39:27 BST 2000:

>Oh twat, fuck, piss! So I am the biggest dullard on the forum alone. I thought there was safety in numbers.
>
>Goodies. OK. I was allowed to stay up late to watch it.

That's what they all say.

Subject: Ozzie idents site [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Richard' on Fri Oct 20 14:40:05 BST 2000:

http://members.nbci.com/TVaustralia/tv.htm is an Irish/Australian site. It is pretty good.

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