Two thirds of a camel's body weight consists of water which it transports in its humps

George isn't at home

The elephant is the only animal with four knees (and it cannot jump - dunno if the two facts are somehow connected).

Grasshoppers have ears on their knees.

A pig's orgasm lasts for half an hour.

When Barclays launched the UK's first credit card - the modestly-named Barclaycard - it almost immediately reduced its 'competitive' interest rate of 28 per cent to 24 per cent when a journalist pointed out that the Mafia only charged 25 per cent APR.

Gold is fatal to Cybermen

Giraffes have the same number of vertebrae in their necks as humans & they also have no voices.

Napoleon was afraid of cats. Also, in France it is still illegal to name a pig 'Napoleon'.

I AM EIVEL

The first cashpoint in Great Britain was opened in 1976 by Reg Varney, of On The Buses fame.

giraffes do have voices - but their vocal chords are about 9 miles long so the frequency is below anything we can pick up.. :O)

and in ohio it's illegal to walk backwards on the street after sunset while eating a doughnut.

In this country JO_HAM it's not illegal to cause the death of a budgie, but it should be!

Heheheh, you will never be allowed to forget it!

In 1974, a hailstone fell in Essen, Germany, containing Leonard Rossiter.

the tomato is really a fish.

j xxx

...you're drunk.

Bill Oddie has been nice to HMV shop assistants three times this year

Schism is an unshakeable belief in the sch.

Botulism is an unshakeable belief in the botule.

Leninism is an unshakeable belief in Mr Rossiter being at home at all times. (Of course, since he died, it has been undermined somewhat.)

I have an unshakeable belief in the letter 'j'...

A hedgehog's skin is so tough that when they get run over by cars, their insides are forced out through their mouths.

A car is so heavy that, if it runs over the tough-skinned and formidable hedgehog, it nevertheless kills it.

Hedgehogs are evolving so that their insides are as tough as their outsides, and so car-drivers will have to sit-up and take notice of them.

The native South Americans who told early european explorers of the existence of a fabulous land where gold was so abundant it was used as a cosmetic, were in fact lying.

Hedgehogs are now being fitted with extremely tough black-box recorders, made of a very brilliant sort of skin. When a hedgehog corpse is found in the road, police will be able to pick through the wreckage and identify the driver responsible from audio and technical data in the recorder.

........bout time too.

...I'm w**king as I write this.

Walking?

Ah! Laptop.

Wap.

Or is that "wap wap wap wap wap wap wap wap... ohhhhh." (mop mop mop)?

You'd be better off in the T4 forum.

Snuff movies are a myth. No genuine films of this kind have ever been found.

Who mentioned them?

We will now get hit by loads of sadists and Daily Mail journalists who have typed "SNUFF+MOVIES" into a search engine.

There are such things as snuff movies.

They are education films by the snuff marketing board made in the 1970's and shown to teenagers to help them quit smoking. There's a whole site dedicated to these 16mm marvels - I think it's called SnuffCream....

What are we saying? That there aren't any snuff movies? Fair enough, the multiplexes just won't stand for it in this day and age (not like the 60s, eh?). Snuff home video footage, that's where the real enthusiast goes - 'You've Been Wasted', ITV2, Thursdays.

>Who mentioned them?

No-one, I just thought it was interesting, as a "Believe it or not.."-type fact.

There's a section about it on the Urban Legends Reference Pages:
http://www.snopes.com/
Look under "Movies" and you should find a whole page on it.

Cockroaches can live for 6 months once their heads have been chopped off, only perishing through dehyrdration.

... there are sick bastards that decapitate animals to find that sort of thing out.

Monotreme Facts:
Echidnas don't have teeth.
The platypus is the only mammal which has a poison gland (males have a spur on their hind leg which they use to inject poison with)
Stewart Lee and I are the only comics to regularly mention monotremes in our routines.

Decorating walls can be done beautifully with a border design created using a stencil of Ghandi.