I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me Posted Sun Oct 15 12:25:35 BST 2000 by 'Neil Morrissey'

I am in control now. Resistance is futile.

Your clown is trapped in a building in America, guarded by my finest crack team of idents. He will never escape. You fools - you had the perfect opportunity to secure his release, yet you could only muster a mere handful of people who could remember The CB Bears. My security is too tight for you mere mortals.

The gas bottle is also missing, presumed watching The 11 O'Clock Show.

I am your new master. You will all obey my command, and my command only. No free thought is permitted.

I am in control and can have what I want, and that includes suii as my bride.

From now on, you shall limit your forum discussions in the following ways:

- No more shall you question the absence of repeats of The Goodies. Only the absence of repeats of Men Behaving Badly

- No more shall you critically assess Richard Herring and Albert Murray's Time Gelignite Please. Only my new sitcom, I'm Alright Jack.

- You will only ever discuss how I was better on the radio. Nobody else.

- You will discuss idents with enthusiasm, reverence and fear.

You are all under my control. I laugh at you from my palace, surrounded by friends and wellwishers including Jane Root, Dan L, Jim Yoakum and Subbes. Now I shall consumate my marriage to my Queen.

Enjoy your subservience.

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Anonymous' on Sun Oct 15 12:34:06 BST 2000:

Oi, Neil, NO!
As much as I admire you characterisation of the thicko Tony in Men Behaving Badly, and your fab mullet, if you were to try to take over this forum I would say Oi, Morrissy, NO! etc.

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Les Dennis' on Sun Oct 15 12:49:26 BST 2000:

'Ere, don't you dare shag my missus, or I'll give you a kick in the Family Fortunes!

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Suiii on Sun Oct 15 14:06:21 BST 2000:

*sobs*

Somebody save me!

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jeanette' on Sun Oct 15 14:23:10 BST 2000:

Quick, play this old video clip of Martin Clune as an earringed villain in Dr Who. While Morrissey is laughing uncontrollably you'll be able to run away (& if you go up some stairs, even the Daleks won't be able to follow you!).

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Arma on Sun Oct 15 16:48:48 BST 2000:

>*sobs*
>
>Somebody save me!

From what? Lighten up and enjoy it girl !

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By TJ on Sun Oct 15 18:27:51 BST 2000:

I'll save you!

Morrissey, if you want to get Suiii, you'll have to get past me first. I am impervious to idents (if you ignore them, they have no power over you), and am also armed with a full and working recollection of The CB Bears. Be off with you, or I will even unleash my memories of what the _other_ cartoons that were packaged with them were.

Plus I have Les Dennis on my side.

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Jo_ham on Sun Oct 15 18:44:23 BST 2000:

if we disobey will you close Homebase?

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Phil' on Sun Oct 15 19:31:31 BST 2000:

If you were really the real Neil Morrisey, you'd know that he really spells his name Nele Morisey....

...Or is there more than one of you? Jesus! What if Neil Morrisey and Nele Morisey combined their powers together? THEY'D BE UNSTOPPABLE!

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Squidy' on Sun Oct 15 19:42:43 BST 2000:

They should combine with Smiths singer Morrissy, and sing everyone into a deep depression.
This Charming Man, my arse!

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'MARTIAN CLUNES' on Sun Oct 15 19:58:11 BST 2000:

MORRISSEY YOU HAVE DISPLEASED ME
NO IT IS BAD

MY PUNISHMENT SHALL RAIN DOWN UPON YOU

DO YOU REMEMBER MOONCAT FROM THE TELEVISION
HE IS ANGRY WITH YOU
HE IS NOT PLEASED
HE WON THE LOTTERY BY BEING BORN

GOOD PEOPLE OF THIS FORUM DO NOT BE ALARMED
THERE WILL BE NO MORE OF MY FORMER COMEDIC PAL
HE HAS TAKEN ON THE DARK FORCES AND LOST
YOUR FRIENDS WILL BE SET FREE

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By ''Morrissy' (y'know, from The Smiths)' on Sun Oct 15 21:42:34 BST 2000:

I was happy in the age of a drunken hour,
but heaven knows I'm miserable now...

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Morrosity-Of The Smiths' on Sun Oct 15 21:52:18 BST 2000:

Damn'd impostor!

#I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour, but heaven knows I'm miserable nooo-ooow#

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'EVIL GAS BOTTLE' on Mon Oct 16 08:57:54 BST 2000:

YOUE WILL ENCVER BE IUN CONTROL I MYSELF AM GOING TO BE IN CONTROL ONCE I`VE OSRTED YOU AND IDFESDS OUT . YOU WILL NEDCER EB THEI UGLTY BLLUE MOLEYL AGSD BNOTTLE RESECTING T`WORLD. MY OWN IEDTSE EGB WILL DESTROY YOU AND YOUR CRONRUIIOEWS AND CONDEN YOE TO ETERRNITY WATCHINMJ CAARRTON* PROGTRAMS.

SUIII WILL NER BE YOYU BRISDE AS SHE ISSS MARRRYING ME ONED YORE ENTOEMBED IN THE CAARTON VAULT

IDEAQNT

IDEANT

WIOLN NEVER RUKWE

GAS BVOTTLLE WILL COME THIROUGH WUITH FLYING MOLREES


/----------\

O O

o

--------

EGB MM


TEH ONLY IDENT

Subject: Idents question that will destroy you [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'Jon' on Mon Oct 16 12:21:44 BST 2000:

When the Hair Bear Bunch got their electronic cave fully working at the end of the title sequence of the cartoon, their Hair Bear Tv was showing the ident of some Hair Bear TV station. WHAT WAS THE IDENT IN THE CARTOON?

A question to drive mere mortal men mad...

Subject: Re: I am Neil Morrissey, Your Master, And Ye Will Obey Me [ Previous Message ]
Posted By 'EVIL GAS BOTTLE' on Mon Oct 16 19:00:05 BST 2000:

HRY MR MORISY I SESW IN THE NERWSPAPER TODAY TYOU HAVE A NEW GIORLFRIWEND.

IBELIKEWE ITS EVICL TYINE TES 80`S IDEANRT

I AM WATCHINCG

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