Here's that missing question mark

?

Are you kidding? Most of them are lovely because they're inherently damaged people. Well the good ones anyway.

>Are you kidding? Most of them are lovely because they're inherently damaged people. Well the good ones anyway.

So, who's the lovliest?






You're going to say R Peters aren't you? After him then?

In my experience, a large majority are very intelligent, fairly reasonable people. I'm sure some are utter twats though.

I met Michael Palin once and he really was as sweet and kind and likeable as everyone says, leaning forward to catch what I was saying as I'm such a tiddler. Mind you, it was some years after he stopped being funny.

Saw Lee and Herring in Preston about 4 or 5 years ago. After the show, they spent at least an hour giving chinese burns to the youngest and oldest members of the audience, stealing from the most stupid and kicking anyone they deemed different.

>Are you kidding? Most of them are lovely because they're inherently damaged people. Well the good ones anyway.

Do you know any, kinder? If so, which ones?

>Do you know any, kinder? If so, which ones?
>

Only sexually Skill. And many of those were just doing five minute slots.

>>Do you know any, kinder? If so, which ones?
>>
>
>Only sexually Skill. And many of those were just doing five minute slots.

They can do my five minute slot any time, ha ha!

The ones I met were drunk...which is good in my book.... but that might say more about me than them.....?

>leaning forward to catch what I was saying as I'm such a tiddler.

Jake! And I always imagined you to be a hulking giant of a man! Couldn't tell you why...I wonder how wrong I am about other contributors, then...

Jerry sadowitz is a keen chess player, so that tells you all you need to know.

Whereas Karpov is a competent magician and semi-professional bully. It's these twists and turns that make life worth living.

Oh, is that it? I'd wondered.

Well, if it's not that, its ready-chopped coriander. You don't have to chop it, you see? It's already been done.

But what makes the coriander-chopper's life worth living? It would have to be done by machine, otherwise we'd all be living a lie.

Jon made my life worth living this morning with his breathtakingly enormous...




















...CD collection

There's an awful lot of damaged, stuffed-up people in comedy - more than almost any other profession (other than soldier of fortune.) Nature of the industry - bunch of weirdos.
I know some very nice comics, but I also know some very selfish, egotistical, inconsiderate bastards. (Sorry, I shouldn't use the word 'bastards', I mean to say 'cunts'.)
Bitter? Moi?

Luckily the nice ones come to this site.

Mark Gatiss is wonderful, but with authority. The rest of the League is very friendly as well, but you can't help thinking you walk away from them and they'll be using your nose/height/face etc in some bad sketch..or maybe that's just in my big head. David Walliams is nice and so polite, inneee, but don't know him that well really.

Im just feeling for the poor bastards who have to spend a lot of time in Reece Shearsmiths company, his attitude and temper defied belief on several occasions which is quite rich coming from somebody whose name, when brought up on conversations, brings many blank stares. Will have to go along with Janet re. some of these comics being grade A cunts, and RS is one of them, albeit occasionally.

I think everyone can be nice or a cunt and if you only meet them once then they might well be being a cunt that day - maybe something awful has happened to them, or you're unlucky enough to be the 100th person that day to come up to them and say their catchphrase at them.

Also what this whole celebrity being a cunt thing doesn't really take into account is that maybe you the member of the public are a cunt and that's why the comedian is being cunty to you. I remember one bloke in Edinburgh who came up to talk to me when I was with some school pals I hadn't seen for ages. I was civil to him for an hour (so much so that some of the people with me assumed he was one of my friends) then he started being a bit rude to some of the women we were with, so I asked him to leave, saying "I've talked to you for an hour, I don't have to do that. I think you should go back to your friends now" He (apparently he called me a cunt to my face the year before, I'd forgotten) said "I was right about you, you are a cunt". I explained I wasn't, again reiterating that he was a stranger who I had made welcome for a good while. He stared threatening at me. I asked him to stop. He went away and returned 5 minutes later and poured a pint of warm liquid over my head. I thought it was piss and so (quite reasonably) attacked him. I didn't hurt him unfortunately. It turned out the liquid was water, but still.
Now I'm sure that bloke goes around saying I am a cunt. But I think that he was the cunt.
I hope that story illustrates my point.

Having said that a lot of comedians really are cunts. But I only know that cos I've seen them in action several times (Hmmm, or maybe I'm the cunt and they're behaving cuntishly to me, cos they think I am a cunt)
Who knows?

BTW am I allowed to say "cunt" on here?

Cunts is all relative, I think that's what he's saying.

Thanks for that Mr Herring. I think my wariness of comedians off-stage comes from my own naivety. As a young sprog firing off unusable scripts to Radio 4 on an almost daily basis, I think I created an over-romanticized view of comedy as a profession. I thought everybody was just interested in doing great work. In reality of course, comedy is exactly like every other profession - there's the fun nuts-and bolts side (which I love) but then there's also the money, gossip, careerism, one-upmanship and *producer politics* side as well.

A friend who's working in a university felt the same about academia. Sounds noble and lofty at first - but it's just like any other type of work with egos colliding wildly all over the place.

It seems doubtful that the mere fact that a person is a comedian would define whether they are a cunt or a nice person. There are cunts in every walk of life, just as there are more pleasant people. And, as Richard implied, everyone has days when they are a bit cunty.

My guess is that being a celebrity doesn't make a person more or less likely to be a cunt (I know a lot of cunts - none of them remotely famous). It's just that saying to your mates "I met some bloke in the pub last night - he was a right cunt" arouses much less interest than saying (for example) "I met that Ricky Gervaise in the pub last night and he's a right cunt". (Witness Viz's Celebrity Cunts.)

Is the question "Are comedians nice people?" any more valid than "Are plumbers nice people?". Or, indeed, "Are people nice?".

Then again, life without any generlisations would be a bit dull.

>Is the question "Are comedians nice people?" any more valid than "Are plumbers nice people?". Or, indeed, "Are people nice?".
>

Yes. Because it's possible to *love* a comedian (or their work, at any rate) and then find out they are a cunt in ***real life***. Maybe there are some plumber fans out there disappointed to find out that Bob from Bob Willis & Sons Plumbers is actually a cunt, despite his fantastic insight into the S-bend, but....

Richard Herring makes two excellent points.
1) Everyone's a bit cunty sometimes
2) Maybe sometimes we're the cunt, not the comedian

But then he does say that some comedians really ARE cunts.....

What I was getting at with my orginal question, was that for the main part, it makes no difference as long as they're good at the comedy bit. I also said that *most* of them I'd encountered hadn't been nice. I didn't use the word *cunts*, but hey, it is a great word. Cunting great.

One two three...

FACT HUNTS!!!

>I didn't use the word *cunts*, but hey, it is a great word.
Yes, it was me and I'd like to take full credit for bringing it up. I seemed to be getting a reputation on this forum for being nice.

>Richard Herring makes two excellent points.
>1) Everyone's a bit cunty sometimes
>2) Maybe sometimes we're the cunt, not the comedian
>But then he does say that some comedians really ARE cunts.....

Yes - they're the cunts I'm talking about Richard. I'm not talking about 'drive by' cuntdom, or 'I'm a punter who just wanted to say hi, oh you're a cunt' cuntdom, I'm talking full blown industry level 'I can't believe I'm on the same bill as this cunt! I'd rather tear off my own cunt than be in the same room as such a cuntingly cuntish cunt' cuntdom.
We probably even know some of the same cunts.

I think it's time to name and shame the cunts.

I've spoken to people who have worked with Rowan Atkinson and they all say he's an incredibly egotistical cunt. And I've also met some who have worked with people like Rik Mayall and they all say he's a great bloke who is incredibly funny in real life and therefore is not a cunt, so he would be the opposite of a cunt, so Rik Mayall is a cock, a first class cock... hmm.. That doesn't sound right..

It's well-known (oh all right, I remember reading that it's "well-known") that Rowan Atkinson's cunty character in "The Tall Guy" is modelled affectionately on himself and his own cunty tightwad ways.


Incidentally, I'm prepared to bet actual money that this is the first forum on the Net to contain the phrase "drive-by cuntdom". Well done us. More firsts like this, please.

Pleeeeeeease, could we call the cunt-comedians summit else from now on?? Not by their actual names, but something a bit softer maybe?? I guess Ian got unlucky with RS etc, but personally - anybody who lingers round somebody for too long when they're obviously trying to get some work in and are wired already is not gonna get a bunch of flowers and an invite to the next barbecue.

I always found RS to be very sweet and quiet, possibly with a dark side to him that he uses when necessary. Just don't feel comfortable with associating him to my nether regions...

>I always found RS to be very sweet and quiet, possibly with a dark side to him that he uses when necessary. Just don't feel comfortable with associating him to my nether regions...

Ah, but wouldn't it be better to try and disassociate the word from your 'lady bits'? It's a terrible word for such a lovely organ, after all. Wasn't it Jerry Sadowitz who said that a four letter word containing three hard vowels is wasted if it's used as anything other than an insult?

I stupidly wrote in a hurry:
>Wasn't it Jerry Sadowitz who said that a four letter word containing three hard vowels is wasted if it's used as anything other than an insult?

I meant cuntsenants. Err, continents. Oh, fuck it.

>Pleeeeeeease, could we call the cunt-comedians summit else from now on?? Not by their actual names, but something a bit softer maybe??

Softer? Aw, I don't get to swear in real life, can't I do it here? Please...
How about something different but a little more abstract then, Emmanuelle?
Some comedians/people are:
Dog-rogering shitfreakers
Unholy pigwhorers
Christing fucksticks

Feel free to add to the list. .

PS. Yes, it is late as I write this. Why do you ask?

>>Pleeeeeeease, could we call the cunt-comedians summit else from now on?? Not by their actual names, but something a bit softer maybe??
>
>Softer? Aw, I don't get to swear in real life, can't I do it here? Please...
>How about something different but a little more abstract then, Emmanuelle?
>Some comedians/people are:
>Dog-rogering shitfreakers
>Unholy pigwhorers
>Christing fucksticks
>
>Feel free to add to the list. .

OK. You asked for it.

Turd-polishing cockerels
Excrement-flicking dildi*
Maggot-fisting timerservers
Owl-jiz-faced snotsliders
Mediocre Satan-gravy-gargling jape-jerks
Shit-headed shitty head shit-heads
Coyote corpse-buggering 10th raters
Wankfaced tossmouths






*plural of dildo (c) Nicholson Baker

I've met an awful lot of comedians and comedy writers, and the range is incredible. I've met people who've been in the industry for years and are nice as anything, and some twunts who've been around for 6 months and are egocentric tossers.

Whilst I reckon it's OK to be a cunt in everyday life, we do owe it to the people we work with (esp. in a stressful job like standup, with the level of personal committment etc.) to be reasonably professional at work.

Anyone with an enormous ego is generally overstating their case, and is recognised as such by their peers.

Sorry about the quality of writing today - in a rush to finish 11ocs

Do you still do stand-up yourself, Nunuf?

I like 'twunts' - sounds kind of sunny and South American. I think I will take it off you and reuse it...:O)

Mike Wilmot is a coke head.

>I like 'twunts' - sounds kind of sunny and South American. I think I will take it off you and reuse it...:O)
>
>

And it took off even more when Chris Morris used it...

"Mike Wilmot is a coke head."

Whohe?

Ditto Ben Elton...

...yes I do stand up, ...but I'm not inviting you to come and shred it.

Ditto Ben Elton...

...yes I do stand up, ...but I'm not inviting you to come and shred it.

>...yes I do stand up, ...but I'm not inviting you to come and shred it.

Gosh, do you think anybody who contributes to this forum could really be that vicious?
Don't say it's so!

>Ditto Ben Elton...
>
>...yes I do stand up, ...but I'm not inviting you to come and shred it.

Chicken!

Absolutely.

>Absolutely.

As you work on the 11 O'Clock show I'm surprised you know any!