Methinks the lady doth protest too much...

Methinks the lady ain't got no soul...

Or she's a bitter, failed muso.

The trouble is that it's one of those sites that's a seemingly brilliant idea in its way (upset rock bores - lovely!), but when you try and start reading the darned thing, it's tiresome sub-Burchillian ranting.

I'd bet money it's Steven Wells doing it.

It could be so witty and informative, telling us how to CHANGE the current situation rather than slag it off, much like SOTCAA was, but this woman seems to just say 'I hate this, and I hate that, and that bands crap, blah, blah, blah...' without giving any reasons deeper than 'Because I do'.

Not that I could do any better, mind...

How to be a heavy Metal Band.
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1) Name - Call yourself something scary disgusting - Car crash Gore buggery .

2) Look - Dip yourself in spandex, stuff socks down ya pants. Stick finger in plug socket for that 'big hair' look.

3) Sound - Turn everything up to eleven.

4) Lyrics - You taking the piss?

Isn't heavy metal rubbish.


How to be a Punk band:
-----------------------------------
1) Name - Be anti-establishment - Queen Mum's 12 Inch Cock.

2) Look - Run through a shredder in denim, dip hair in glue. Stick self with pins. Spit.

3) Sound - Turn everything up to eleven. Spit a lot.

4) Lyrics - Take a piss. (Spit even more.)

Isn't Punk rubbish.


How to be a Jazz band.
----------------------------------
1) Name - Be a 'your name' quintet, quartet, t�te-�-t�te?

2) Look - Cooooooooooooooooooool, mmmmm nice.

3) Sound - Play all the scales you know at once. Remember rhythm is for pooftas.

4) Lyrics - Ba Ba booo be boooo, mmmmmm nice. On a race track in France.

Isn't Jazz rubbish.


How to be a Blues Band:
------------------------------------
1) Name - Be a 'your name' Blues Band or a fruit with a disability. ie Dyslexic Banana Jones.

2) Look - don't matter my baby's left me, taken the Iron, washing machine, car, dog, house, credit cards etc.

3) Sound - Wailing guitar solos that go on for a minimum of 3 weeks. Harmonica solos that try to out do the guitar
solos.

4) Lyrics - I woke up this morning.....etc.

Isn't Blues rubbish.

Repeat the above 4 steps for any musical style, pointing out all the clich�s for said style (like a hackneyed standup.) Offer no reasoning for your hatred.

Look I just found a refernce to it the other day, had a look and thought you lot might be interested. I haven't read most of it yet myself.

Mmm. Given that she is basically saying everything is bad (even the Pixies?) without any discrimination, then people are justified in slagging off her site without reading it too closely. What a shit site.

Hmmm... just saw this thread in the archives...

Well, of *course* the Tanya thing is a bit of a piss-take. It's written by a whole bunch of people who quite clearly *love* a wide range of music (see the Freaky Trigger parent site) - I mean, who, if they truly loathed all forms of music, would have even *heard* of half the stuff 'she' slates on the site?

It's pretty much an exercise in Devil's Advocacy, frequently quite funny and occasionally bang on (see the recent "Kid A" piece).

I thought it was very funny and its range of content incredibly broad. The piece about the Pat Metheney/Derek Bailey album was great, even though I like the record.