The solar system will have moved further in the direction of the star Vega.

I hope to own my own branch.

In the same or a different tree?

Probably still skiving off work posting to this thing!

I'm marrying Justin. You're all invited. Yay!

Justin's girlfriend might not like that. Anyway, I'm marrying you.

In ten years time, I will either be:

* in a band and very sucessful
* a product development executive for Virgin Atlantic/Holidays and very sucessful
* a sucessful travel journalist

I hope generally to be sucessful at something and have a nice house.

I'm hoping to cheat the laws of time and be 29 in ten years, although I'm 27 at the moment.

I understand that all it requires is for me to travel on a spaceship moving at 99% of the speed of light. Surely British know-how can manage that?

People I am marrying whether their girlfriends like it or not:

Justin
Jon
SamD
Jase
Prisoner whateveritis Simon Adebisi
Bent Halo
Mogwai
Anonymous
Suiii

C'mon, it'll be fun!

Call me old fashioned, but I'd like to meet those on this forum that I'll be marrying before I actually marry them.

No Carry On fans please, I'm bloody sick of them!

SamD doesn't have a girlfriend, he has a wife. So you'd be bigamizing him and forcing him to go to prison... yes, you'd like that, wouldn't you, you minx... God, I love you...

Jon! What on earth has brought this on all of a sudden?

And how could I forget Al! Sorry, love. Tell you what, will it make it up to you if you get to go first?

Al's married as well. But yes, I'll go first, so the others don't have to.

I'd risk a term in the big house if it would help anyone out.

YOU WILL ALL BE UNDER THE CONTROL OF EVIL GAS

"YOU WILL ALL BE UNDER THE CONTROL OF EVIL GAS"
I thought this petrol thing showed we already were? (ooh, a bit of politics there)

10 years time, eh? Well, i'm just about to start a scriptwriting course thing at university, so in 10 years, i hope to be writing for the really big british productions - you know The Bill or Holby City, something like that. Or if i'm really, really fortunate, the new Robsen Green drama: Well, it stars Robsen Green and... well, to be honest, it doesn't have a plot... but, you konw, Robsen Green...

Why don't you think of Hollywood, PJ?

Where's that?

PJ, there's a crossroads every young Brit film maker comes to, where they have to decide if they want to make low-budget C4 stuff, or if they want to be any bloody good. Don't turn to the wrong side.

Well, you know, i was thinkng of doing a film with my mates Sadie Frost and Jude Law - there won't be a script, and we'll all improvise. It'll be about some cockney gangsters, who rob a bank or soemthing. But the bank 'job' goes wrong, and one member of the gang (Ray Winstone) is shot, meaning evertyone has to imporovise at his improvised funeral. The whole thing ends with everyone singing Dancing Queen, in the sort of nightclub that hasn't existed since the '60's ended. Oh, and there will lots of drugs.

What do you think then?

Well, if I'm not dead/in prison/in bed, I'd be happy to marry all of you! Think of the size of the party...mmmmmmmmmmmm cake!

Dunno where I'll be, living off Johns earnings (immoral or otherwise) I hope!

I'll probaly be Swedish.

Oh y'know -

A Norwegian, a Finn, and a Swede get stranded on a desert island. After three days, the Norwegian is organising everything, the Finn is busy building a boat, and the Swede is still sitting under a tree waiting to be introduced to everyone.

>Jon! What on earth has brought this on all of a sudden?
>
>And how could I forget Al! Sorry, love. Tell you what, will it make it up to you if you get to go first?

Ewar! I thought you'd forgotten me - but all is forgiven. I'd be delighted...

>Al's married as well. But yes, I'll go first, so the others don't have to.

Curse you Jon for giving me away. One day you will all feel my power!

Except you won't. In ten years I will be still smoking wuss cigarettes and moaning about This Life. Depressing isn't it? But not as depressing as the public response to the fuel blockade. Any forum members fancy joining me in setting up an independent republic?

Certainly, Al. You can be President and I'll be the bloke who's really in charge, because I'm the cleverer one out of the 2 of us.

Only kidding! You can be Junior Minister for Media Studies at the Ministry of Education.

>I'm hoping to cheat the laws of time and be 29 in ten years, although I'm 27 at the moment.
>
>I understand that all it requires is for me to travel on a spaceship moving at 99% of the speed of light. Surely British know-how can manage that?

Actually according to Dr. Robert L. Forward all you'd need to do would be to spend some time inside a large sphere with negative mass. This would cause you to experience a fortnight while only ten days passed outside. Another advantage is that you get all that extra leisure time.
And where do you find this negative matter? Um, well actually it doesn't exist because it would bend space backwards or something and you can't do that.

In 10 years time I shall be Head of Zany Comedy Shows for BBC Neptune. You are all invited to pitch ideas at me now, cos it'll take 10 years to get anything made.

I'll be 40, and appearing on I Love the 90s, making wry observations about The Farm and "Paramount City". I'll also have written a sitcom "She's My Wife - And So Is She", mirroring my hilarious real-life relationship confusion. But it won't get anywhere, so I'll still be a bitter, older man.

btw, Ewar, wish I'd known about all this in my twenties!

In ten years time I will be head of the British Oxygen Manufacturing Company, offering very competitive prices for all your breathing needs.

Dig the obscure Hitch-Hiker name reference, Maxelkat.

Yowsa.

In 10 years I might have grown up some.

Don't hold your breath. Cause you'll die, and stuff.

in 10 years time?

dunno.

I'll be 29 or something like that.

probably flying the sea harrier.

>> adrenaline junkie <<

Not sure what I'll be doing... probably STILL in local radio. Unless I fill the news studio with helium, of course.

jonm will prsenent points of view

eware woowar is married to him

bent halo is in charge of the national cosiety of shopwing good television prgoreammes

s\uui is on the coiver of fhm showing here boobs off

john!2 selles furniture to businessmen

ebil gas bottle went to prison for killing the pseroinm who stopped the site, but then they queen said he was rigte to mdo it and gave hima royale pardon and he was released

tj and aislie are marreid and have two daughters one called lamarr and one called morris

sam d is king of spain

subbes can fglu a helicopter

shhep finally sene the goodies

nele morrisey has a new sitcom called ime alright jack, but the pilice azre investigationfing it avter three members of the romanian wordl cup team dided while watching it. he is very trouble

idents wioll be in jail for crimes against a wsr memorial

i am still in fourums logo

To think, some people pay for predictons like that...

Wow. I've always wanted to fglu a helicopter.

Thanks, clown. The prospect of being King of Spain has cheered me up no end! I was really depressed until you told me that. Fantastic.

Why do I always get missed off these lists? Perhaps I *will* be just smoking fags and moaning about This Life...

You can have an important position in the Royal Court of Spain if you want.

Al, you'll still be teaching Media Studies. And you'll be really popular with the kids, because you can tell them about all your old SOTCAA mates who now dominate the media!

>
>btw, Ewar, wish I'd known about all this in my twenties!

Known about all what? That women can share and enjoy your opinions? Don't worry, Justin, very few men know about that in their twenties, trust me...

>Al, you'll still be teaching Media Studies. And you'll be really popular with the kids, because you can tell them about all your old SOTCAA mates who now dominate the media!

So is this where I'll be then?

Oooooh! And I'll be on the front of FHM, and that filthy slapper s*bb*s will have bought all the copies on her dads credit card, and will be sent to a MAXIMUM SECURITY PENITENTIARY!! She will of course be in the isolation unit. Oh yes!

I'd like to offer my congratualtions in advance to evil gas bottle

I don't want a cigarette. i really don't. I don't need them, you see. I don't even feel like one.
I don't.

You don't?? Trying to quit eh? Very good, take up drinking massive amounts of vodka instead, you'll be too drunk to smoke!

Mmmmmmm.....lovely fags....












Sorry. Keep it up, Sam! Just remember you're no longer lining the pockets of evil fatcat tobacco barons, hurrah!

I neither drink nor smoke

What do you do?

(A subtle innuendo follows...)

Must be something inside?


MmmmmmmM

Bugger. Had one at dinner time.
Right, then, I'll start giving up again... NOW!

>I neither drink nor smoke

Did you give up, or are you just naturally pure?

I gave up drinking. I never smoked.

>Oooooh! And I'll be on the front of FHM, and that filthy slapper s*bb*s will have bought all the copies on her dads credit card, and will be sent to a MAXIMUM SECURITY PENITENTIARY!! She will of course be in the isolation unit. Oh yes!


Like I hadn't got the clue already. Continue trying your best to live up to the "evil ex" stereotype that you so obviously feel the need to emulate.

yet surely you realise that it is your fault they act this way.

if you were not so selfish and cowardly then there would be no need for things like this to be said

>Like I hadn't got the clue already. Continue trying your best to live up to the "evil ex" stereotype that you so obviously feel the need to emulate.
>


Er.....I was like...joking. Sheesh.

Maybe she was too!!!!!!!!

In a corner of a room sits a man of no identity or description. He is looking at a tv set flashing images of persons he once knew. He sighs as hears the audience respond. The television is turned off, a drink is finished and the man leaves with coat and hat. A lonely figure going out into a rain-drenched street. All is dark and everything meaningless. His greying breath merges with the heavy sky. There is a park bench - flaky paint and a tree, plus some pigeons. No crumbs of comfort today. Only bitter memories of what could have been.

George - this is hearbreaking. Don't put any Joy Division albums on whatever you do.

In response to *that* posting.

The Corpses left us with a challenge. That person could be any of us a decade hence. Either we do something about it or we really will find ourselves in ten years time sitting on our rears watching the telly, moaning in this forum, etc;

I'd like to imporve things, I really do, I'm still optimistic that something good will come from the meet and maybe we will be the ones to give comedy and television the kick it needs, but where do you start? I honestly am a person who doesn't want to end up griping about how bad everything is - but not prepared to do anything about it - that's why I use my vote, give feedback and criticism when required - it's in the hope that it can cause something to happen, who knows? It's worth a try.

Don't get me wrong either, this forum has become my natural haunt (note the recently accquired red name) and I enjoy the fun stuff as well as the debate, but there DOES seem to be something missing since the Corpses were shutdown. It's akin to drifitng around rudderless and becalmed in a middle of an ocean with a map but no navigational system - you may have an idea of where you want to go, but without the breeze to push you, or a sense of direction, you are still stranded and effectively lost.

An absolutely fair point, George. I agree, but with a slightly despondent air.

If any of my "projects" ever do get off the ground, in 2010 I'll be pretending not to read this site anymore, but looking anyway out of curiosity just to see if anyone calls me a careerist cunt.

Maybe *I* should say it before anyone else gets a chance...

>>
>>btw, Ewar, wish I'd known about all this in my twenties!
>
>Known about all what? That women can share and enjoy your opinions? Don't worry, Justin, very few men know about that in their twenties, trust me...
>
Don't get too excited, Ewar - I can (and do)still talk crap at regular intervals. (Ask my partner! Or anyone on this forum, of course...) No, all I meant by that was that I spent an almost surreally high proportion of my twenties single.

An attempt to garner sympathy? Why, of course.

Is "Garner Sympathy" anything to do with lamenting the fact that Paul Garner was edged out of Chris Morris' post-"Brass Eye" projects?

I'm upset - I thought I'd been here long enough to be abused by you all in posts like this

I have started various ill-fated ident and TV-related discussions, and rescued the "Best Local TV Programmes" thread from the Old Topics bin on TWO seperate occasions - and still no-one is willing to bigamise themselves with me.



I'm Shocked and stunned.

ha dont worry Subbes will fuck you if you have a pulse

Grow up you pillock.