Thank you, Mr. Griffiths. The drugs thing needed saying.

The differences between dogs and cats.

Supposedly defunct products from the 70s which are still available anyway.

Men, eh?! (Julia Morris, step forward, the guns are loaded.)

Intimidating female members of the audience. (Brendon Burns, same goes for you.)

Daleks not being able to go up stairs (see that Lee and Herring soundbite)

Anyone attempting to say the words "Scooby Doo" on stage should be hanged.

>Supposedly defunct products from the 70s which are still available anyway.

This applies to anyone, not just stand-ups.

"Cor, do you remember curly-wurlies?"
"Erm, yes, I had one yesterday."

Nearly EVER stand up talks about relationships with woman, it's so incredibly boring, either that or sexual relationships with woman, which then they talk about Pussy's for another half an hour (no, not a cat). And then there's the other jokes that they all seem to nick off eachother and the audience being thick don't notice their all ripped off "ooh my girlfriend was complaining to me all day, she was saying i don't listen to her at all.. or something, i dunno i wasn't paying attention" haha fucking ha...

The drugs thing - the real problem here is the audience (aaaah, but isn't it always?) who always do their best to laugh knowingly at the obligatory joke about using some household object as a replacement for Rizlas, "Oh yes, we've all done that haven't we?! I am terribly cool, honest, oh yes!"

True. Reminds me of Nick Hancock's bit about people laughing at the porter scene in Macbeth just to show they understand it. But it's the lackadaisical comic's fault for bringing up such a hackneyed and unimaginative subject in the first place. People laugh to save face with their peers when what they should be doing is throwing ashtrays at the stage.

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeer, yeah!

ditto with

shaggiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing, yeah!

and

waaaaaaaaaaaaaanking, yeah.




ie, anything you hear the virtues of extolled by sports students is out, out out.

>ie, anything you hear the virtues of extolled by sports students is out, out out.

As someone who valiantly tried to spend my entire adolescence "off games", hats off, subbes.

The men/women thing, absolutely. The only person I've seen do this effectively at all is Jerry Seinfeld. Any female stand up who says 'you know what I mean, don't you girls?' should be shot. Aren't you just sick of about 95% of stand ups (and TV comedy/drama come to think of it) implying men are all sex-crazed idiots and women either smug know-alls or bitches from hell. This latter category crops up especially in relation to 'gags' about PMT.

dogs/cats - hmmm, seem to remember Eddie Izzard doing a funny one on this, but perhaps that's the exception.

I think sex is something that is usually covered phenomenally badly, even by comics who are otherwise quite passable.

>As someone who valiantly tried to spend my entire adolescence "off games", hats off, subbes.


You have to be a few wheelbarrows short of a building site to like partaking in sports at a degree level. Most of them destroyed whatever remaining braincells they had with a combination of vodka, weed and cheap whores as soon as they passed their "PE" A-level.

Though they were probably lying about the cheap whores.

>You have to be a few wheelbarrows short of a building site to like partaking in sports at a degree level. Most of them destroyed whatever remaining braincells they had with a combination of vodka, weed and cheap whores as soon as they passed their "PE" A-level.
>
I work in an office with someone who would like the introduction of a circuit training session every morning at 9.30 sharp. But he does talk about cricket scores and mid-80s disco with the same kind of anal reverence.

*shivers*.

Although I Feel For You by Chaka Khan is a top record.

Predictably, Al, I'm with you on Seinfeld's view on the battle of the sexes:

"Men honk their horns and shout from tall buildings. These are the best ideas we've had so far."

"The thing about marriage is...I can't believe how *often* it happens."

"You want to know what men are *really* thinking about? I shouldn't even be telling you this... You want to know? Nothing. We're just wandering around... checking stuff out."

I'm not a fan of the Seinfeld school of stand-up, "don't you hate it when..."

Actually a lot of stand-ups do stuff like that, it's just that Seinfeld isn't funny. I swear the laughter is canned!

If by canned you mean dubbed on afterwards then no. As far as I am aware, Seinfeld is taped before a live audience. Seinfeld is the king of 'what's that all about' comedy. It is a style that many attempt, but few master. In my view he has. There's a very good essay about Seinfeld's style on the Douglas Coupland website.

>If by canned you mean dubbed on afterwards then no. As far as I am aware, Seinfeld is taped before a live audience. Seinfeld is the king of 'what's that all about' comedy. It is a style that many attempt, but few master. In my view he has. There's a very good essay about Seinfeld's style on the Douglas Coupland website.

I meant canned laughter primarily for the stand-up bits at the end in front of the bricks. They and the show have never made me laugh much if at all. And I know I'm not alone in this, but it does make many others laugh so that's great.