It's funny - I have a vivid memory of being 8 and hearing this. It was great - but I could have sworn there was some Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner in there. Did he do it again?

And I quite like 'Surfin' Bird' but maybe that's coz of Full Metal Jacket.

And is this mp3 available to download from some location?

I remember having an LP of "worst songs ever" when I was a kid, which was in some way associated with Kenny. It had a cartoon of Captain Kremen on the front and he probably wrote some sleeve notes for it but I was too young to be bothered with such things. More excitingly, it was made of yellow/green swirly vomit-effect vinyl and had YUCK! written on the label in splatty lettering, so it was fun to look at as well as listen to.

I remember one track was about a car accident in which the singer's girlfriend was killed, and he sings dramatically of when he recovers from concussion and tries to find her in the wreckage:

"... and there was my baby... and there was my baby... and... THERE was my baby!"

It was my favourite record when I was little.

Hence I am the coolest person here by miles, aren't I?

Rik Mayall sang a similar 'dead girlfriend' song at the Comic Strip:

'My baby was splattered all over the place/Everywhere I look I can see her face....'

Also, visit http://www.kennyeverett.co.uk/ for top album action.

"Transfusion" and "Surfin' bird" are on Dr. Demento's 20th Anniversary Collection (Rhino, db CD). "I Want my Baby Back" is on Dr. Demento's 30th Anniversary Collection (Rhino, db CD).

(And yes, there is also a 25th Anniversary collection, and between them they also contain over 100 terrific comedy songs and sketches. Check 'em out on Amazon or wherever.)

The Fall covered "I'm Going To Spain" for "The Infotainment Scan" (1993) and Stewart Lee put it on the "Past Gone Mad" compilation this year. I remember when TIS came out, John Peel played the cover and then the original, commenting that they'd now have to track down Steve Bent to pay him his royalties, and wondering what he'd make of it all.

Jonathan King did some sort of personal best/worst thing for R1 years and years ago, and he definitely nominated the Vic Reeves/Wonderstuff version of "Dizzy" as one of the worst records ever. But JK is pretty tedious to listen to, so I don't think I heard all of it.

I was listening to TIS today on my way into work, and now I want to go to Spain such is the power of suggestion on a weak mind.

My least favourite songs would have to be that gypsy nonsense one about singing for money and "more than words" by mr big.

What about that Four Non-Blondes hit from a few years back - "What's Going On?" or some such? Truly, unrelentingly hideous. From the band name down, a shockingly dreadful enterprise. In a class of its own. The 90s equivalent of Charlene's "I've Never Been To Me" - and almost as inescapable at the time.

I'm afraid few of today's songs have that truly unutterable awfulness that makes a really great bad song.

Oh there's enough bad records around at the moment if you look hard enough. "That Don't Impress Me Much." "All Around The World." "Yellow." "The Drugs Don't Work." "7 Days." That hopeless Posh Spice record. Maybe something off the next Radiohead album (it has no singles on it, apparently, so no tunes either, I'll bet.)

Or do we mean there's nothing like "Agadoo" (ie a record so obviously bad even the group who recorded it know it's crap - no fun there.)?

btw Mike J - top man for suggesting 4 Non Blondes.

Sorry to be pedantic, but the 4NB single was called "What's Up?"

It was their only hit, unsurprisingly.

>Sorry to be pedantic, but the 4NB single was called "What's Up?"
>
>It was their only hit, unsurprisingly.

And *thankfully*. I was actually going to put "What's Up?", but, in the few distressing seconds I allowed the song to stink up my head, I couldn't recall that line. Cheers, anyway.

Of course, we're moving into the realms of personal taste here - I think (though I've not looked at the list recently) that the Everett bottom 30 was more a compilation of not-very-successful records that were the result of spectacularly ill-judged forays into the studio. Dubious subject matter, emphatically bad vocal performances, etc.

Perhaps there was a 'golden age' of bad records - 45s cut in innocence and naivety, by folks no-one told that "they really shouldn't be doing this". Now we have a million sub-genres in pop, and a riot of plain but unspectacular badness everywhere you look, depending on taste. I have friends who'll argue with convincing authority that "OK Computer" and "Fin de Siecle" are two of the worst records ever made. Others find the coruscating electronica I'm partial to utterly unlistenable. But I imagine you have to really dig (as Everett probably did) to find the jaw-droppingly bad stuff - home-made CD-Rs in local shops, perhaps. And I imagine we're talking about *songs* here - the lyrical content being vital.

So - as for Justin's list of recent atrocities, well, yeah but isn't really a matter of "why are people buying this in droves - it's really quite poor/contrived/bland?" rather than something being laugh-out-loud terrible. But "Kid A" *might* just fall into that category...

"I have friends who'll argue with convincing authority that "OK Computer" and "Fin de Siecle" are two of the worst records ever made."

I'd agree with them.

And I'd argue about Fin. Worst of Hannon's maybe, but better than...er... say, BEcoming X by the Sneaker Pimps. IMHO.

>And I'd argue about Fin. Worst of Hannon's maybe, but better than...er... say, BEcoming X by the Sneaker Pimps. IMHO.

Hmm... I actually bought and enjoyed that Sneaker Pimps record when it first came out (remember the IC-image sleeve? Before they re-issued it with FeistyGirlSinger being moody and blank on the cover). Nice textures, some judiciously-selected samples... took a couple of terrible gigs to convince me that the singer was completely awful. And "Post-Modern Sleaze" is one of the worst song-titles of the 90s.

Yaeh, I got it with the original cover. And I agree about PMS. But I still think it's an OK album, just I haven't bothered hearing it for years.

They sacked the singer and did a 2nd album that no one bought, the fools.

Well, they said that she was actually the singer - they'd just hired her to sing the big hit, and they were fed up of her gaining all the press. So they fire her and head to instant obscurity. Well done guys.

I listened to Becoming X twice - my copy has a very odd cover, in circuit diagram form. Her voice is the best thing about it, since fi you're not really listening everything tends to blend into one long song. Tresko Suicide is worryingly derivative, and Wasted Sunday Afternoon very bad-side-of-Ja(aaa)m. Just my opinion, though I will still hoik out the album and listen to it.

Some of the stuff off Becoming X is pretty good - esp. 6 Underground. I bought Fin De Siecle because I loved National Express so much, but I have to admit I haven't listened to it much since. 'Certainty of Chance' is impressive though.

I'm getting a bit sick of the Radiohead backlash. I know that very dull people go on about how deep and meaningful they are, and I'm not keen on Thom Yorke's Toytown politics, but as far as I'm concerned 'OK Computer' is a great album. 'Electioneering' is a bit duff, but the rest of it sounds superb. It reflects the time of its release beautifully, and the hairs on the back of my neck still stand up with the opening chords of 'Airbag'. The lyrics come in for a kicking but the bit on 'Paranoid Android' where Yorke sings 'That's it sir/You're leaving' is fantastic. So there you go.

Everyone has this image of Radiohead as miserable gits - not helped by some fans who embrace this image - which of course is not a true reflection of the band. Sure, they're miserable sometimes, but isn't everyone? Look at the chorus of Airbag ("...back to save the universe") and "we hope that you choke" from Exit Music and say they haven't got a sense of humour. No, really, they have.

6 underground is good, but even that is no excuse for putting the song on *twice*. What, you didn't have enough material? Then get in that bloody recording studio.

And Fin is good atmospheric wossit. I generally have it on in the background, then listen to Eric The Gardener, which is basically Hannon showing off that he can direct an orchestra to do fun-sounding twiddly bits. The man's a genius. A stuck-up one yes, though I think we can allow him that little foible.
Why, even my mother likes Liberation. To the point that she kidnapped it... I should never have told her there was a Mr. Benn tune on there.

And I've never bought a Radiohead album, nor listened to one longer than 5 minutes.

Fin has some of Hannon's best songs on it.
It also has some of his worst.

What can I say, he's bipolar. ;)

Their worst song ("National Express") was their biggest hit, but "The Certainty Of Chance" and even "The Frog Princess" show that, unusually, Divine Comedy are better at slow songs than jaunty, uptempo ones.

I'll give Hannon the benefit of the doubt, all in all...

Hannon's never going to make an anthem. well, not a pop one.

I vote he composes the replacement to God Save The Queen.

for when we overthrow The Man, obviously.

<splutters> 'National Express' their worst song? A fie on you sirrah, for a rennish knave!

>6 underground is good, but even that is no excuse for putting the song on *twice*.

Hmm - perhaps that's the 1997 re-issue? There was a Nellee Hooper remix which brushed the charts, and seemed to supplant the album track as the proper version. Wasn't "Spin Spin Sugar" revamped for the re-issue too?

> Hannon showing off that he can direct an orchestra to do fun-sounding twiddly bits. The man's a genius. A stuck-up one yes, though I think we can allow him that little foible.

I can't. It infects everything that he does, right down to his vocal phrasing. In terms of songwriting, he's the poor man's Stephin Merritt.

>And I've never bought a Radiohead album, nor listened to one longer than 5 minutes.

"OK Computer" was its year's "Becoming X" as far as my listening habits were concerned. Played it a lot, suddenly developed a great dislike for it, never played it again. Give me Julie London and Nelson Riddle anyday.

><splutters> 'National Express' their worst song? A fie on you sirrah, for a rennish knave!

*furious sound of back-pedalling*
Well, alright, not their *worst*, but it would be a shame if they only got remembered for that, don't you think?

I don't rate them, myself. He can't sing, the lyrics aren't as clever as he thinks they, and "Everybody Knows" sounds like the tune to Eastenders.

>I don't rate them, myself. He can't sing, the lyrics aren't as clever as he thinks they, and "Everybody Knows" sounds like the tune to Eastenders.

Actually, Everybody Knows is far worse than National Express. Fair enough.

Yeah, but the words to National Express are horrible - when's the last time he went on a train?

And it's all done in the best POSSIBLE taste!

(Just a little reminder of who/what this thread's supposed to be about)

Worst song ever - Bob Seeger and the Silver Bullet Band 'We Got Tonite'

There is no argiung with that fact.

The great thing about Certainty of Chance is that my vinyl copy of it (CD's?!? Pah!)wasn't pressed properly, so it has this warped fasty-slowy effect on the orchestral part which becomes quite terrifying if you listen to it whilst high.

Not that I'm ever high you understand. Just that Tipp-Ex remover can be pretty potent...

>The great thing about Certainty of Chance is that my vinyl copy of it (CD's?!? Pah!)wasn't pressed properly, so it has this warped fasty-slowy effect on the orchestral part which becomes quite terrifying if you listen to it whilst high.

Certainty Of Chance does actually scare me a little.

>Hmm - perhaps that's the 1997 re-issue? There was a Nellee Hooper remix which brushed the charts, and seemed to supplant the album track as the proper version. Wasn't "Spin Spin Sugar" revamped for the re-issue too?

I wouldn't know, since I bought it last year in Americcy. Through amazon.com, because they send me stuff just for being a customer. i got a free mug last week.


>I can't. It infects everything that he does, right down to his vocal phrasing. In terms of songwriting, he's the poor man's Stephin Merritt.

You may not like him, but just compare him to the other crap that got into the charts that year. Gosh, Spice Girls. Although I'm hunting for a copy of that Booth & The Bad Angel tune. Not hunting very hard, you understand.
He's a rare breed - someone who is sucessful while not pandering to what's popular. You can't possibly listen to "Your Daddy's Car" and tell me that it hasn;t got stuck in your head. I dare to suggest that some people who merely bought The Best Of on the strength of Something For The Weekend and National Express were somewhat disappointed, but I hope some of them realised the depth that's there.

Though Casanova is disappointing towards the end. i usually switch off once "The dogs and the horses" starts. Can't abide it.

And I'm talking through my hat, so I'll stop now.

the best of is what got me liking Dc in the first place.

my friend got me to buy the re-released "pops singer's fear.." and then sent me a taped copy of the best of album.

Liked the horse so much I bought the cart.

or something..