Deteriorata Posted Fri Sep 1 22:17:26 BST 2000 by Joe4SOTCAA

(Another spin-off from 'Best Comedy Songs')

'Deteriorata' - National Lampoon

Go placidly amid the noise and waste
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece therof
Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep
Rotate your tyres
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice even though they be turkeys
Know what to kiss, and when
Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that three do
Wherever possible, put people on hold
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time
There is always a big future in computer maintanance

You are a fluke of the universe
You have no right to be here
Whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back

Remember the pleb-law
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate
Know yourself
If you need help, call the FBI
Exercise caution in your daily affairs
Especially with those persons closest to you
That lemon on your left for instance
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Will scarcely get your feet wet
Fall not in love therefore
It will stick to your face
Gracefully surrender the things of youth
Birds, clean air, tuna, Taiiwan
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch
Hire people with hooks
For a good time call 606-4311
As for 'Ken'
Take heart in that in the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese
And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukie

Therefore, make peace with your God
Whatever you conceive him to be
Hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin
With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate

Give up

Subject: Re: Deteriorata [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Lee Mendham on Sun Sep 3 12:19:46 BST 2000:

You'll find it on Dr Demento's 30th Anniversary Collection (Rhino R2 79787) disc 1, track 4.
Run, don't walk, to your nearest comedy record store and purchase this fine compilation and its 20th and 25th Anniversary predecessors, and be rewarded with hours of hilarity.

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