Sexclusive
Posted Sun Aug 20 19:42:42 BST 2000 by JM
Here is your SEXCLUSIVE (exclusive) guide to what is appearing in the sext (next) mill o fun (millennium) on CHANNEL 5 (A really shit channel no one watches)
BRAS! BRAS! BRAS!
An exclusive look at the modern bra as worn by cheap models. Each show will focus on a different bra company i.e. Gossards, and will mark each bra out of 10 to find the 'Bra of the millennium'. Presented by those three blokes who replaced Trevor and Simon on Live and Kicking
Porn
Each week, a different Channel 5 anchorman* will join celebrated porn auteur Ben Dover during the making of his latest porn film. They will then be included in the most pornographic sequence, and actually do the cum shot!
FUCK ME!
A charming new comedy panel game show presented by slimy bastard Tony Slattery. Each week Tony Tries to get the celebrity panel (Junior Simpson, Ed Byrne, That Lesbian off the Sunday Show, Tamara Beckworth) To fuck him. Who ever fucks him most (excluding himself) wins
Fucking Foreigners
A Charming look at foreigners as they tried to invade our country with their bad breath. Presented by our hilarious voice over crew.
The Mack Mackendry Show
Awful and Cheap American sitcom full off joke that only makes sense if you're American. Star Mack Mackendry and Bill Cosby
Please Watch
*NOT Kirsty Young
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Subject: Re: Sexclusive
[ Previous Message ]
Posted By PJ on Sun Aug 20 20:08:10 BST 2000:
Anyone getting angry/annoyed yet?
Subject: Re: Sexclusive
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Posted By Mogwai on Sun Aug 20 20:45:09 BST 2000:
Not really. The BBC2 Autumn Schedule was kind of fun. Plus the David AT TENborough joke. I agree, though, the rest of it's a bit dire.
Subject: Re: Sexclusive
[ Previous Message ]
Posted By JM on Sun Aug 20 21:32:52 BST 2000:
Well, if you can stand it, there's a 100(ish) page book of it available from me, for a minimal cost (copying and post), which you can enjoy over and over again, forever. Amen.
Subject: Re: Sexclusive
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Posted By PJ on Mon Aug 21 00:35:38 BST 2000:
Wow this book sounds really intereasting, i wish i had one etc etc
Subject: Re: Sexclusive
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Posted By Joe4SOTCAA on Fri Sep 1 22:19:08 BST 2000:
JM -
Do you actually *care* about how appalling the schedules are? Does it bring you to tears when you see how the industry is messing everything up in a search for a huge constant pleb viewership? Do you ever feel like perpetrating acts of physical violence on those responsible or indeed yourself?
If you don't care either way and are just having a bit of a laugh for the sake of playing with words then just give it up. All you'll get is a continuous loop of empty laughter.
Subject: Re: Sexclusive
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Posted By subbes on Fri Sep 1 22:28:51 BST 2000:
Aww diddums.
Subject: Re: Sexclusive
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Posted By JM4joe4SOTCAA on Fri Sep 1 23:33:45 BST 2000:
Ha ahaahahahahahahahah hahahahaha
ahahahahahahaha
ahahahahah [no, but seriously, simon pegg does good faces] haha ahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahah
Subject: Re: Sexclusive
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Posted By PJ on Sat Sep 2 00:49:15 BST 2000:
Just thought i'd clear this up - i actually wrote the thing on this thread, not JOe - he just sent it (although he wrote some ofd the other things).
I would answer your questions, but i don't see why i should have to. Perhaps you can give me some reason? (three maybe?)
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