More stolen 'comedy' Posted Sun Aug 20 19:41:03 BST 2000 by JM

NEW SERIES STARTING SOON ON ITV.

We at ITV have been working hard to bring you the best in family entertainment for the new millennium. Here is a selection of our new programmes:

ROBOT WARS:
Popular as ever, Jeremy Clarkson, Craig Charles, Phillipa Forester and Robson Greene have to fight to save their lives as giant robots try and kill them in the National Indoor Arena.

PEAK PRACTICE:
A health scare in Cardale means maverick new doctor Hugh Pissupinabrewery , played by Robson Greene, has to administer treatment to people. The disease only affects people who wear clothes, so Robson will have to be in the buff. He is also at the peak of his career, and also practices reaching orgasm every week.

THE GRAFTERS:
Cheeky Brothers, John and Hugh Pissupinabrewery [played by Robson Greene and Stephen Tomkinson] are maverick plastic-surgeons who must graft skin onto Jerome Flynn's face every week with light-hearted consequences.

SHARPE:
General Sharpe, played by Robson Green, collects sharp objects such as surgical waste, and knives. He then arranges them in order and each week tried to remember the order to see how sharp his brain is.

NEWS AT TEN:
At Ten O'Clock every night, Trevor Macdonald [played by Robson Greene] must announce the days news within ten seconds. He is surrounded by ten ten-year old children, whose names all make ten in numerology. The weather is read by David AT TENbourgh. Do you see?

ART ATTACK.
Neil Buchanan [worked by Robson Green] visits specialist heart care wards around the country's hospitals. He paints disturbing and surprising pictures and the jumps out on the patients with them in order to induce a cardiac arrest.

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