*hands him some lamb's blood*

Come on. On the doorframe, if you please.

Can i not use iain lee's blood?
Please?

Dan, you replied about 9 minutes after subbes responded - do you sit and wait?

No. Do you actually look @ when things were posted?

If you love comedy, retire.

What and leave it to you? No way Jose... it's something i feel a passionate burn inside for. My experiences of comedy, this site aside, have been exceedingly good ones be it from performance, writing, whatever. Even if i'm shit, and i make just 10 people smile then i am happy too. This site and the peoples judgement of my talent is based on a very small amount of what i can do, without any idea who i am or what i do or what i'm like... if you can make judgements on people like that then you're really not worth me responding to.
Despite the fact i may have scattergun humour, at least i am pursuing something that i feel strongly for. That is all that matters.

With the possible exceptiuon of Peter O (who I suspect just enjoys winding you up) I don't think anyone is 'making judgements of your talent'. You could be the next Peter Sellers for all I know. The root of 99% of the objections to your comments is not that you make them, or that you dare to have an opinion, or any of that. It is simply the portentousness of you replies. The bit on an earlier thread where you swear at yourself and slag yourself off to save others the effort of doing it, thus liberating their time to read a book or visit a loved one manages to be ridiculously self-pitying and supercilious at the same time. It was embarrassing for other readers, and you.

Can you not just join in with the threads, make observations and rise above (i.e. ignore) any remarks you consider worthless? I guarantee you'd feel a whole lot better - and who knows - you might have good experiences of this site (which despite your disparaging comments you repeatedly return to.)

After our last exchange of views I decided not to repsond to any of your other comments. But you seem intrinsically decent - it is just your manner that rubs everyone up the wrong way. I am not asking you to change your opinions (God forbid) just to lighten up a little.

Some of the most mature and sophisticated humour on TV today can be seen on Cartoon Network. Don't believe me?

Dexter's Laboratory
Pinky and the Brain
2 Stupid Dogs
I Am Weasel
Fat Dog Mendoza
Mike, Lu & Og
The Powerpuff Girls
Courage, the Cowardly Dog
Angela Anaconda

Why is all this brilliance being wasted on kids??? We grownups demand the right to watch cartoons too!

Do they still show Taz-mania on the Cartoon Network? That was ace. Not on CN but also good is Animaniacs. Helloooo Nurse!

Believe it or not, up to you really... BUT...
the slagging off of myself was a bit of fun. it wans't a backwards slagging off of anyone else... it certainly wasn't self pitying, i thought you would've caught the irony of it to be honest, but there you go...
Like the thing about putting it over two messages... can't win either way really... still, there you go...

Also on this subject... i don't need to lighten up... Christ, anymore and i will be like an acid freak!
I think the problem is here that, quite amazingly, people are taking me seriously... the only thing i am serious about is comedy!!!
And make me happier? Hmm.. that ain't possible... i'm writing, met my hero, going out more than ever... i ma literally as happy as the proverebial sand boy... :)

But this is my whole point - people are taking you seriously because that's how you come across. Read the comments you put slagging yourself off and try and imagine reading them 'cold' - that is without realizing it's supposed to be a joke. I don't think I'm an idiot not to catch the irony in this and some of your other comments.

PS BTW 'up to you really' - what?
PPS Who's your hero that you met?

Well, if they are then that isn't how it's intended...

PS; 'up to you really' if you believe me or not.... i can't remember what about, but that was it...

PPS; A well known british writer / comedian who i have a great respect for...

>PPS; A well known british writer / comedian who i have a great respect for...

Come on now - don't be coy!

he wasn't a fish...

Oh, him.

>he wasn't a fish...
A coy/Koi gag? (Your second fish reference... do you keep fish?)
Dan - if this is a ploy to make me more interested in who it is, it's working. Who was it? (Or are there legal reasons you can't say? Was it Salman Rushdie? Or is Eric Morecambe still alive?)

If it wasn't Herring, it was Lee.

Simple.

Ahhhhh! I feel such a fool...

You have to have the mentality of a primary-school kid sometimes for these things. 's why i'm so good at em. :)

no, still way off...

Simon Pegg.

You were probably one of those fan extras they got to work for nothing on Spaced when they couldnt afford to pay anybody to do it.

maybe, maybe not.
i know, you can only guess...

But the question is, is anybody really that bothered....?

Dan met me.

Compared to him, I reckon I qualify as "a well known british writer / comedian".

P.S. I saw "Pinky & The Brain" on ITV kids TV a few years back and it was shite.

No, i have never met Jon. Jon is suffering from a common complaint known as misplacement... he has confused well known british writer etcetc with 'twat'... i hope that sorts your problem J, if anyone has any other problems... make an appointment...

Imagine if Dan was your Doctor:

"i have a pain in my stomach and my head constantly hurts. What's your opinion Doctor?"
"My opinion does not matter...everything is subjective...go get your own...don't listen to me...blah blah blah..."
(Patient keels over dead.)

Yes. they would all be corpses.

Arf!

Arf -ul

Dan, everyone on this forum is fulfilling a specific role as far as I can see. Kinder Surprise does her 'hippy girly' character; Jon does his 'Look at me - the voice of reason' schtick; JOHNNY BANANA does his mad shouty 'I HATE CARLTON' routine; John! And Suii pay tribute to Julian and Sandy from 'Round The Horne'; the SOTCAA editors alternate between playing devil's advovate and playful nudging. Richard Herring plays himself (or an exaggerated version therof). You, Dan, seem less happy with your role as the 'bloke everyone loves to hate'.

But we all love you really, you silly sod. It's one big happy family. You're lovely.

Cerys

I agree. Apart from that last bit.

Looking forward to your Gussett SOTCAA pisstake, Dan. Make it a good one.

So I finally have my own schtick ick, do I? Mother would have been so proud...

>Dan, everyone on this forum is fulfilling a specific role as far as I can see. Kinder Surprise does her 'hippy girly' character; Jon does his 'Look at me - the voice of reason' schtick; JOHNNY BANANA does his mad shouty 'I HATE CARLTON' routine; John! And Suii pay tribute to Julian and Sandy from 'Round The Horne'; the SOTCAA editors alternate between playing devil's advovate and playful nudging. Richard Herring plays himself (or an exaggerated version therof). You, Dan, seem less happy with your role as the 'bloke everyone loves to hate'.
>
>But we all love you really, you silly sod. It's one big happy family. You're lovely.
>
>Cerys

Who am I then? I don't have a character... *sniff*

>Who am I then? I don't have a character... *sniff*
>
Nor do I TJ. It's OK - we'll be non-entities together...

Hurrah - we are the nonentity twins!


The uncorpses!

The living dead?

Not everyone can be entities....
Hold on.. let me check my "Beginner's Guide to Existence" book and I'll get back to you...

Points noted...
Thanks ;)

Dxx

Where's meeeee?

C'mon. I live to be insulted.*



* nah. I live to try and blag free clothing from The Black Rose. so far, those damn goths are ignoring me.

I'm a damn goth.
And sometimes a damp goth.
Sad, eh?

Sam - say it ain't so! With the eyeliner and everything?

There's nothing wrong with eyeliner.

Except when you're trying to do the sweeps at the corner of your eye and you slip and stab yourself in the cornea.

Smarted a bit at the time.

Al, I'm afraid i did do at one time!
Bauhaus t-shirts, crimpers, winkle-pickers and all that!
Bit old for that kind o' thing these days..
although I am tempted to go and see the Sisters on Friday night...
GAK!

*tempts with a bit of black velvet*

You know you want it...



No?

Ummm...

Sisters Of Murphy LP?



ooh! Black lipstick!


(not that I'm a goth or anything... sadly I do own most of the above... gah)

Yeah, but I'm a bloke and so do I..
seen the Sisters of Murphy live.. very funny! Didn't know htey'd done an LP! Is it "good"?

Um.

I'll pass on that one. Anyway, it's a home-done compilation on tape.

i forget, but i'm sure it was epic

Are you following me round?

do i LOOK like i'm foolowing you round?