>Harsh or fair?

Interesting that the judgement comes from someone so strikingly beautiful themself...

The insult stuck in my mind because it didn't really make sense - surely a jar of bees would look nothing like a human face, even more so than Jupitus' actual face, so the idea is too strained to really work. Once again, Bushell attempted to be smart and failed.

Any other ridiculous insults anyone can think of?

>The insult stuck in my mind because it didn't really make sense - surely a jar of bees would look nothing like a human face

Not so. Carefully dab pollen in the shape of a human face on the inside of the jar, while smearing the 'dead space' with something that bees don't like at all, and let the bees in. They will all congregate around the pollen and leave the areas in between well alone. Hey presto! Your very own Human Face Jar -O-Beez!

(The same result can also be achieved with very small transparent tubes arranged in the required pattern inside the jar.)

Any other ridiculous insults anyone can think of?

I am aware of several insults in the "jar of bees" vein... none of them make much sense.. all of them start with;
a face like:
a slate-hanger's nail bag
a box of frogs
a slapped arse

Perhaps Bushell could incorporate these 'hilarious' quips into his repetoire.

For that matter, I suppose you could accuse someone of having a face like:

- a skip;
- a used paper towel;
- an uninteresting patch of waste ground that even children can't be bothered to explore, and nothing exciting has been secretly buried in;
- a piece of rubbish;
- an unamusingly shaped carrot.


...and they'd have no answer to any of those, would they?

>Any other ridiculous insults anyone can think of?
>
>I am aware of several insults in the "jar of bees" vein... none of them make much sense.. all of them start with;
>a face like:
>a slate-hanger's nail bag
>a box of frogs
>a slapped arse
>
>Perhaps Bushell could incorporate these 'hilarious' quips into his repetoire.

I've always quite liked "face like a slapped arse", used sparingly to describe someone who is very embarrassed and thus blushing...

How about describing someone wearing too much deoderant/after shave as "smelling like a tart's handbag" or boudoir or fanny or whatever...

Or how about the journalist who once wrote that film actor Richard Harris "had a face like half a mile of rough country track"?

No, it would have been better if he'd said "face like a gravel pit".

That would have made Harris cry. Then he'd look like a gravel pit in the rain, which would be even worse.

I once heard someone say that.. actually no.. its far too disgusting..

I've got a face like a vague thing.

Hang on...

"Not so. Carefully dab pollen in the shape of a human face on the inside of the jar, while smearing the 'dead space' with something that bees don't like at all, and let the bees in. They will all congregate around the pollen and leave the areas in between well alone. Hey presto! Your very own Human Face Jar -O-Beez!"

But surely it's NECTAR that attracts bees, the pollen is picked up by them coincidentally? Anyone around here got a Biology degree?

Well, obviously it's pollen that's been dipped in nectar. Otherwise how else is it going to stick to the glass?

*loosens collar, mops brow*

*sniffs jar*

Wait a minute... this is Copydex!

So... you glue the bees in place.


Same idea, mind you.

Though you may want to get an adult to help you.

Probably better to get a child to help you..
there smaller hands would be far better suited to glueing bees to the inside of a jar.

A bee's hands are even smaller, so why not "turn" one of them and use him as a rogue bee, who betrays the other bees and glues them to the jar, in return for a stash of nectar. Then you would be able to listen to the leader of the good bees shouting "But you're supposed to be our friend!" and the traitor's smug/evil response: "Bees are supposed to stick together, ha ha ha ha! Now, I will enjoy watching you die, Mr Bee-ond. Kill them! Kill them all!"

And so on.

*snigger*