>Did you ever have a friend or relative that died and yet, you still expected them to come walking through the door?
>Why not watch them being ripped apart by a tiger? Apparently this would guarantee that you never think that way again.


Bill Hicks did that first and (probably) better:

"Do you want your Grandmother to die in some cold, sterile hospital room...watching her last pulse work it's way up her blue vein...or do you want her to meet Chuck Norris?"

(this is from memory...please don't jump on me if I've mis-quoted)

Plagiarism is more offensive than tastelessness.

Is he a Home Counties-sounding guy, talks a cricket a bit, was on Comedy Nation briefly in a sketch about the SAS?

If so he used to be Dan Gaster's double act partner.

>Is he a Home Counties-sounding guy,

Yes. I think so, but I'm not *entirely* sure of a 'home counties' accent.

>talks a cricket a bit, was on Comedy Nation briefly in a sketch about the SAS?

I don't know about that.

>Is he a Home Counties-sounding guy, talks a cricket a bit, was on Comedy Nation briefly in a sketch about the SAS?
>
>If so he used to be Dan Gaster's double act partner.

Jon, you've got the wrong Evans I'm afraid, but how the fuck do you know this? They haven't done a double act show since college and that was at least six years ago.

Perhaps I've worked out where you spent your days as an undergraduate...

Ailie sorry you had a bad experience in parts. Simon is actuall quite a sexist character. I won't give you a libellous example of my proof but I am just a youngster and I have first hand experience of him attempting vile things.

>Ailie sorry you had a bad experience in parts. Simon is actuall quite a sexist character. I won't give you a libellous example of my proof but I am just a youngster and I have first hand experience of him attempting vile things.


The sexism didn't bother me quite so much as the kiddie joke.

Your experiences sound interesting! Post theu up under an alias.
(ailieas?)

NOOOOO! Now I've started that thing with my own name too!

One Day Soon -

I've said where I was an undergraduate a while ago... yes, you're right...

Oh, is the other Evans called Mark Evans then? I can't remember.

But he definitely did do 1 sketch on Comedy Nation, about the SAS having their eyes obscured to cover their identity, and consequently falling about. Hilarious stuff. Said sketch featured James Bachman, who went to the same university. And the show featured Mitchell and Webb, who did as well, and are now in 'Bruiser' with a load of others who did.

>Your experiences sound interesting! Post theu up under an alias.
>(ailieas?)


Damn, I can't believe I didn't think of that one! ;o)

>Damn, I can't believe I didn't think of that one! ;o)

HA!
Second-rate has-been!

:0)

He's a lecherous bastard.

I can well imagine that.

Don't you have any *real* filth, Kinder? :0)

>He's a lecherous bastard.

Who?

>Who?

Getting paranoid are we, Ewar?! ;0)

Gaster was also in a trio called Curried Goat, with someone called Will Ing, and someone else. I think they all wrote for WeekEnding at some point. Apparently they made the shortlist to be Trevor & Simon's replacements when those 2 quit Going Live, or whatever it was called.

>I can well imagine that.
>
>Don't you have any *real* filth, Kinder? :0)
>
Ailie you appear to be joyous at the thought of such misdoings. I take it you see the prospects of his leching rather opportunistic and quite 'mundane' in terms of your promiscuous lifestyle.

I'm in no doubt my 'filth' would only add to your licentious and damaging view of the world.

I am virginal in my outlook on life.


*halo*

Well I hate to think what's been concentrated into your inlook.

Oh Kinder! How did you ever become so wise?

lol. Probably by the same means in which you became so unpatronising. :)

That's a natural skill!

Ailie and Kinder, you're obviously just over-sensitive! They're beautifully crafted one-liners:

"...who said comedy isn't art? I reckon it's just another form of artistic expression.

But who's to say that the beautifully crafted one-liners of Simon Evans are any less artistic than Slovakian mime?"

Who said so? One Mr. Dave Gorman.

We all know that fascists network.

Jon --

>But he definitely did do 1 sketch on Comedy Nation, about the SAS having their eyes obscured to cover their identity, and consequently falling about. Hilarious stuff. Said sketch featured James Bachman, who went to the same university. And the show featured Mitchell and Webb, who did as well, and are now in 'Bruiser' with a load of others who did.


'Hilarious stuff!' or 'hilarious stuff...'?

Well... I'm sure it seemed clever when they thought of it, it could have been done well, but it was a bit lame in execution...

[Eyes narrow:] why do you want to know?

Well it seems like we both know who these people are, Jon. And text is free of irony.

>>He's a lecherous bastard.
>
>Who?

Oh dear I have been hit by the laughing bug today. I am finding everything so funny!

Will Ing. Wrote Simon Mayo's "jokes" for far too long. As with all Radio 1 DJs, Mayo never admitted that a scriptwriter was paid to think up his one liners, and for years there was no hint that there was anyone else in the studio; later on, he was allowed on air as part of a studio "posse", but there was still no hint about his actual role.

Sorry if this shatters any illusions anyone may have had about Simon Mayo. Or about Will Ing, for that matter.

I didn't even realise Simon Mayo told any jokes.

"Will Ing. Wrote Simon Mayo's "jokes" for far too long. As with all Radio 1 DJs, Mayo never admitted that a scriptwriter was paid to think up his one liners, and for years there was no hint that there was anyone else in the studio; later on, he was allowed on air as part of a studio "posse", but there was still no hint about his actual role."

God knows when it was, but there was once a short one-off strip at the back of an issue of Viz about "Simon Salad-Cream" (see what they did there?) who finds a load of old "Two Ronnies" scripts in a BBC skip and then gets a team of writers to rehash them for him.

Jon wrote:
"Gaster was also in a trio called Curried Goat, with someone called Will Ing, and someone else. I think"

I remember them from Edinburgh '93 (yes, I'm old). I saw around 60 shows that year, and theirs was undoubtably the worst. I remember one member showed vague promise. The other two deserved the lash. (This is actually a generous appraisal).

My favourite heckle happened during this show. Muffled snickers and sarcastic guffaws were coming from some boys at the back of the room. One of the performers decided to break the fourth wall. "Oh, so we've got some comedians up the back have we?" The reply came fast:"Well we certainly don't have any down the front".
Best laugh of the entire show.

I saw a bit of Edinburgh'93 as well, Janet, so you're not old at all.