There's a bit about "People bought all my latest hits\Cos they liked my latex tits."

And the music was largely a parody of 'Them Heavy People'. I love Kate Bush. I wish she hadn't gone all crap. She wrote 100 songs by the time she was sixteen you know. Now she hardly writes any. Ah me.

Cheerio

Steve

We have a tapeful of her home demos, recorded when she was about 14. It contains about 20 songs that were never used on any of her albums, and they're all great. I daresay it could be a future download.

I'd always heard the NTNOCN line as 'latest tits', not 'latex'. Neither makes much sense, really, but I was just amused by the idea that tits could be updated.

This is so off-topic, right, but I'm a bit pissed.

First of all, I'm salivating over the prospect of hearing the demos. Secondly, my mate once went to London on a Kate Bush pilgrimage (i.e. he stalked her). He managed to find her flat and just as he went to ring the bell, she came out. She was, apparently just off on holiday, but she asked my mate for his number and promised to call him when she came back.

And she did! She took him out for dinner and chatted to him about her records. Suffice to say he's still a bit nonplussed about the whole thing even now. (And he's not even a fox!)

Cheerio

Steve

As far as I can make out, the lyrics to 'England My Leotard' run as follows (and this is from memory, so there may be blips):

I was into yin and yang and Hatha yoga/Ginseng and carroway seeds and being a non-smoker/My cauliflower quiches were better than the bought ones/And I was thicker than two short ones

People bought my latest hits/Cos they liked my latest tits/And they're all trying hard/To get inside my leotard

Went to my hairdresser to have a hairdo (a- dooby-do)/He asked if I knew A la Recherche du Temps Perdu/That's how I was introduced/To Collette, Cocteau and Marcel Proust/Now wholefood cookery is just a sideline

I went to Cairo and I read the Nostic/Apocryphally drawn in the original Kop-a-tic-a/Got the cod-psychosis theories and the Fibonacci series/Studied accupuncture and the Bible (Buy a bubble...)/Open the windows in your mind/It's not your mind, it's your body they're into/My business manager says/He says that I need an intellect like I need a hole in the, hole in the, hole in the head

Now I'm an honorary member of MENSA now/I'm trying hard to keep up the pretence somehow/Did you buy my latest hits/Cos you liked my latest tits?/You're all trying hard to get inside my leotard

I think bits of that third verse may wrong.

There was then a coda (cut for the LP) where she sang 'Oh, England, my leotard...' while doing a strange mime; we then pulled out to reveal Mel, Griff and Rowan at the side going 'Book...no, it's a film...two words...' etc.

Complete genius. And it's annoying that Pamela Stephenson seems so under-appreciated by so many people. She was a terrific mimic and very clever and great. The song was written by Peter Brewis, who is also tops.

Btw, Steve - if you want the home demos tape, send me your address c/o Rob.

1) I think it's 'latex tits' as well but perhaps my hearing' s a bit funny.
2) The reason everyone slags Stephenson is that everything she did after NTNOCN was so unremittingly awful. Does anyone remember her 'female Bernard Manning' routine where she did father-in-law jokes and tried to debag Nick Owen on TVAM. Hilarious.

Isn't she a psychiatrist now in California?

I agree with Al that a lot of what she did after Not The Nine wasn't very good (How To Be A Complete Bitch was even worse than ...Bastard). The problem with that mindset, though, is that she really is underrated, given what she could do with a script or song. It's forgotten now that when NTNOCN hit, it was Atkinson and Stephenson who were the sensations - Stephenson's mimicry is second-to-none, and if she'd had some decent vehicles after Not, who knows what would have happened?

OK, so I probably had an early crush on her as well....(had to admit it sooner or later, didn't I?). But partly because she was brilliantly funny (does that let me off the hook?).

"American Express?"
"That'll do nicely, sir. And would you like to rub my tits, too?"
"Put your head in between them and go blubble, blubble, blubble with American Express."

I'm sure that sketch left a deep impression on many a teenage boy...

>"American Express?"
>"That'll do nicely, sir. And would you like to rub my tits, too?"
>"Put your head in between them and go blubble, blubble, blubble with American Express."
>
>I'm sure that sketch left a deep impression on many a teenage boy...

I'm not *quite* old enough to have been a teenager at the time, but...fair enough.

I always heard it as "latest tits" even though "Latex tits" might have made more sense. Latest hits obvious joke?

#Peter Brewis, Peter Brewis
#Oh the music was by Peter Brewis
#Peter Brewis, Peter Brewis

>2) The reason everyone slags Stephenson is that everything she did after NTNOCN was so unremittingly awful. Does anyone remember her 'female Bernard Manning' routine where she did father-in-law jokes and tried to debag Nick Owen on TVAM. Hilarious.

And what about that bizarre appearance on Bob Monkhouse's chatshow, where she was in a leg cast and kept waving a pistol around? I can't remember the full details now - whether Bob was in on the gag (she fired at a potted plant, which duly exploded), or as shocked as the audience. Was anyone even laughing? Furthermore (and this really could be false memory syndrome on my part), didn't she did do the whole schtick *again* on Des O'Connor a few months later?

This must've been 82/83? A TV Hell moment surely...