Er, seeing as your a man with spare cash, would you like to invest in a possible profit-making venture?

If no, I'd like to see S.Lee headline, or maybe even a Lee&Herring compered show. I don't see any new comics so I can't suggest many other names.

Wouldn't mind seeing Rob Newman's new act as well. Or J.Sadowitz.

Russell Peters!!! My God this man WOULD be worth a couple of thousand for one night.

>Wouldn't mind seeing Rob Newman's new act as well. Or J.Sadowitz.

I wouldn't mind J.Sadowitz either as I've never managed to get to see him before, but do you reckon he'd do it (I'd heard he wouldn't do stand up anymore)?

Also L&H would be good, but do they appear together anymore?

>Russell Peters!!! My God this man WOULD be worth a couple of thousand for one night.

To be honest I've never heard of Russell Peters, is he any good? Would anyone else recommend him?

Say Petie if you're not after profit involve a charity and Rob will be begging to do it! He's addicted to doing good. And he is possibly the most perfect stand up ever.

I'd like to see Bill Bailey as he makes he laugh till I wee. Peter Kaye is also very funny, and maybe I could beg him for a lift from up North.

Anyone full of "comedic spunk" (C) KS, to be honest.

>To be honest I've never heard of Russell Peters, is he any good? Would anyone else recommend him?
>

The man is fabulous. Honestly. He's naturally very very funny with great charisma. Plus you'll need an ethnic comedian so no one associates the closely monitored names of the Corpses with fascism.

Oh and if it's a real forum do, you'd better give Sandy Nelson a five minute open spot (he was the instigator of 'comedic spunk' and where else will anyone see his Ronan Keating parody?)

"Plus you'll need an ethnic comedian so no one associates the closely monitored names of the Corpses with fascism."

Well, why not meet the opposition head on by having kinder surprise do a stand-up set under the sobriquet 'kinder token-woman'?

>Well, why not meet the opposition head on by having kinder surprise do a stand-up set under the sobriquet 'kinder token-woman'?

It's strange you should say that. I've always deep down craved mysoginists' applause and maybe a heckle or too (only I fear my dad might not come.) And my knob gags are astoundingly accurate, unlike most knobs.

Wow, I think I'm good enough already.

I've paid good money to end up seeing worse.

How about an open floor which literally IS an open floor, situated above dozens of rotating knives, through which certain comedy types can then be pushed?

>I've paid good money to end up seeing worse.

Are you sure the payment and the show you saw were related in anyway?

>To be honest I've never heard of Russell Peters, is he any good? Would anyone else recommend him?


I would.

What about Mark Lamarr?




















...I'll get my coat...

Have you ever met Mark Lamarr Ailie? I have the feeling he would be shockingly nice.

Yes, I've met him and he *was* nice!
This is a link to a photo.

I promise I don't always look so shite. I look like a hamster in this pic.

http://www.geocities.com/ailieh/hasting.JPG

Oh that's adorable Ailie! Did his tongue not wet you?

>Yes, I've met him and he *was* nice!

He is certainly being nice to you!
>
>I promise I don't always look so shite. I look like a hamster in this pic.

Oh, I've seen worse. Do you like being licked?

>I promise I don't always look so shite. I look like a hamster in this pic.

I bet hamster sales will boom in the next few days...

>>I promise I don't always look so shite. I look like a hamster in this pic.
>
>I bet hamster sales will boom in the next few days...

That was either an endearing compliment or a very unnerving display of knowledge.

I am sensing this thread is deteriorating, what with TJ having some rather obvious anger management problems and Richard getting ever so slightly unsavoury. I would like to stress again that the initial proposal was genuine, and I would really like to get some more suggestions for what could be a stupendous (and heavily subsidised for the audience) comedy night. So far, I gather the nominations have been:
J. Sadowitz
L&H (on own or together)
Rob Newman
Russell Peters
Mark Lamarr
Peter Kaye
Bill Bailey
Sandy Nelson

Now I don't necessarily agree with all of these but everyone is entitled to their nominations. Are there any other people who can put forward any names or would like to add their weight behind any of the above?

If the hamster thing was meant to be nice, then thanks!

He didn't lick me, but yes, I do like to be!
;0)

I'd like to add Sean Lock and Vic and Bob too.

All those mentioned sound good to me!

I read him saying somewhere that R.Herring regrets not having any live work lately, so he'd probably be up for it once TGP is in the can. I've never seen the 2 of them together live, so I'd like that.

I've just been down the local hamster shop, and they looked nothing like what was promised! Very unpleasant little furry things.

Thats my weekend ruined!

oh bugger! I've just realised its only Wednesday! Thought it was bloomin' Friday! Thats even worse!

Curses!

I'll second third and fourth the Bill Bailey nomination. One of my mates was telling me about some Anglo-Iranian (no, really) comic he'd seen recently. Supposed to be excellent, but I can't remember the name. Can anyone enlighten me?

OMID DJIllI naturally. I adore him.

That is Omid Djalili. I have no clue what it was I wrote.

that's the one! Is he good then?

Right (Mr Apricot), I've just got back from the pub and have logged on to find out what new blinding suggestions have been posted by the SOTCAA glitterati in my absence. Unfortunately I have been confronted by the same unadulterated bowel leftovers that I saw when I left. Inevitably I will sober up and regret this tirade but I was hoping for just a touch more than the puerile pseudo flirtings that seem to infect most of the messages on this site and have now put paid to any sensible discussion on this one.
I know that just by offering to pay for the best comedic line up that the collective conscious of this site could dream up does not necessarily mean that this thread should be taken seriously, but even so I have seen very little to discourage me from blowing the cash on drugs and whores. Could people please just post who they think who would make a good act to see? I would particularly be interested to hear who the Corpses would rate as a decent stand up. Christ, reading back through this I realise that I really didn't mean for it to sound so vitriolic, but Channel 4 is on at the moment with another song sampling the 70 / 80s which is making me particulary angry and I can't be bothered going back to edit, a thousand apologies. Anyway, if you want to suggest a comic please feel free (as long as it is not Omar Djalli who I have seen and was about as funny as a rotting otter).

Hey I'm sorry Mr grumpy trousers. I was only told he was good. And I did post a suggestion (or at least seconded someone elses.) pardon me for breathing...

Peter J, please accept my apologise for any of my bowel left-overs I left in your thread.
I think most of the suggestions that have been made (epecially the ones you compiled earlier) are excellent, and if you could get a few of those to do it, it would be an excellent night.

Its a very generous offer, and its actually someone getting up and doing something to bring entertainment to people who want it, and, taking it one step further, asking for input. I don't think anyone was trying to belittle the idea. I certainly wasn't.

On the 'non-profit making' side, there has been suggestion to make it a charity based event, which, obviously wouldn't be a bad thing. Or how-about at least re-couping costs so you could do a follow-up event!
Sorry again!

But rotting otters are hilarious! It's all in the way the putrescent head bobs in the stream...

Anyhow, I say: L&H, Newman, Sadowitz, and also try League Against Tedium and The Boosh, so we can see if they're actually popular on the night.

Please accept my heartfelt apologies for my earlier ranting, my only defence is that I was so inebriated that some of the posting was typed with my nose in a rather misguided attempt to save energy (to be honest I don't remember how I worked out the physics of that, and it didn't work). Anyway, thankyou for your suggestions, I agree that some of them are excellent, perhaps I was a little disappointed that there was less enthusiasm than I thought there would be, but I realise I cannot expect people to get as caught up as I was.
Does anyone have any ideas regarding a suitable venue?

Hire a theatre.

I have a big livingroom.

Cheers Jon, I was thinking along similar lines but I'm hoping for suggestions of specific venues, that people have been to / heard of and can recommend.

Seriously, would somewhere like Jongleurs be available?

Or try ULU in Bloomsbury. Near to Euston St, and the SWP manage a 1-week conference there every year, so it can't be that expensive to hire.

I don't have an anger management problem. I just bottle it all up, and allow it to explode in the direction of anyone who offends my sensibilities.

Managed perfectly!

The Banana Cabaret club in The Bedford Arms, Balham? That's where Mark Thomas does his Comedy Product...

It has to be somewhere acessible and easy to find for everyone travelling from elsewhere...


Don't suppose that helps much, but I thought I'd say it anyway! :0)

That's why I say ULU. It's near to Euston Station.

>That's why I say ULU. It's near to Euston Station.


That's a brilliant venue.
I've been there before and it's close to everything.

I second the vote for that.

Might have trouble getting it in term-time though.

Mind you, I saw the Matador Records 3-night thing last September, and I think that was after start of term, so it is bookable. No, hang on, it was a week after Reading Festival, so it will have before start of term. Hmmm.

They've rebuilt the bar since I was a student there and it's really good now.

Simon Evans
Adam Hills
Ross Nobel
Tim Vine
Brendon Burns for some gratuitous obscenity (while still being funny)

Someone's been reading the Scotsman reviews.

Greetings all - I've been directed to this forum by a friend who thought I could help. ("The thread is disappearing up its own arse" was the delicate description offered to me).
Peter J - email me at [email protected] - I think I can offer some practical advice.
A bit about me - I run a comedy venue in Melbourne, Australia; we have a long-standing commitment to inventive, quality comedy performed before a comedy-literate audience. I'm guessing this is what you're after as well.
(And fear not, I am relatively familiar with the London scene.)

Re: lineups - Mary has the best suggestions thusfar. People who are conceivably available as well as being good. (By the way, Adam Hills IS fantastic.) And Jon, I'm shocked. Go to more live comedy, man! I've heard about Russell Peters and I live in a different hemisphere. (Incidentally, I think you're a damned funny man.).

P.S It is all irrelevant to me. So long as Russell Peters is there I'll be writhing.

>P.S It is all irrelevant to me. So long as Russell Peters is there I'll be writhing.

You're a right writher, aintcha?

Actually, the point that Janet made was a very good one.
I think that a lot of the suggestions made have included the more successful comedians, and perhaps a more viable (and worth-while) idea would be to support those who are not yet regularly on television. Except for Lee and Herring. Who would be good. And aren't regularly on television any more anyway. But should be.

"And Jon, I'm shocked. Go to more live comedy, man!"

What, do you mean my suggestions are hopeless, or hopelessly dated, or what?

I'm sorry, I genuinely don't catch the drift of your remark. Reminds me of someone...

>I'm sorry, I genuinely don't catch the drift of your remark. Reminds me of someone...
>
Why do I get the feeling all these notions of confusion hark back to your teenage years?

Thanks for all the suggestions. Does anyone have any connections with the ULU, or is a student there? It may save me some time if I have a starting point. I also agree with the idea of trying to get some decent non-tv comedians (apologies to Eddie Izzard), which is why I was hoping to get some input from the writers and supporters of this website as my knowledge of up and coming acts isn't exactly encyclopaedic. However, I think some well-known names will be needed, as I'm not confident that we could get enough people to make a decent crowd from just the readers of this site. Anyway, thanks to everyone who has contributed so far, the list of possibles has now grown considerably.
Some of them will be too expensive / hard to get hold of, and others should, perhaps, be discriminated against on artistic grounds, but at least it's a good starting point. I shall start contacting people / venues tomorrow, if anyone wants to lend a hand you can mail me at [email protected] or just continue to post below. Also if there are anymore suggestions of lesser-known comics please let me know.

Jon m'dear, no offence intended. (Actually, when I check back I see it was Peter J who hadn't heard about Russell - my apologies). When I say 'go out and see live comedy' there is no subtext - all your suggestions were fine - I was just very surprised when you said "I don't see any new comics so I can't suggest many other names".
There seems to be a number of people who contribute to this forum, who obviously care very much about comedy, but who don't seem to participate in it in a live sense. If Peter gets his night going, will you all actually come out and support him? A great lineup doesn't count without a great audience to see it.
I come from a very active live comedy scene where the audience is as important as the comic. The better and more comedy-literate the audience, the better the standard of comedy.
Here's a suggestion, everybody go to a gig within the next two weeks and report back to the forum on whom you've seen. Time Out is chocablock with gigs, so just take a punt on one of them.
I'll just get off my soapbox now. Peter, I'll email you, and the best of luck.

"There seems to be a number of people who contribute to this forum, who obviously care very much about comedy, but who don't seem to participate in it in a live sense."

What do you expect? They're Corpses...

I'll send flowers.

Don't try and weazel your way out of it either m'lad, are you accepting my challenge to go out and actively support live comedy? Go on. I dare you.

Aw, do I have to? It's really boring...

Stewart Lee
Sean Lock
The League Against Tedium
Dan Antopolski?

Not Dan Antopolski. No. He is the lowest of the low.

You want an example of a good new comic try Bruce Griffiths.

I've been thinking. you could call the event 'Are you NOT Dave Gorman?' With the subtext 'all are welcome to come to the show especially if your name is not Dave Gorman.'

Nor Dan Antopolski, it would seem. What's wrong with him, kinder?

Well I suppose he's OK in small doses. But vast intoxication is required if you really want to laugh loudly at him calling his mother 'a whore' and detailed stories of him 'doing a poo'.

You like more sophisticated humour, don't you kinder?

Like that picture of subbes...

lol.

I think you're confusing a genuine act of affection with an attempt at humour.

The only fault I find in Antropolskis work is that he doesn't mean it. You can tell his heart isn't really in it when he calls his mum a whore. How am I meant to empathise?

You're not meant to. You're just meant to laugh.

Those 'Spanish Inquisition' sketches were rubbish - Michael Palin didn't really think he was a medieval torturer...

That's all very well but when you start venturing into whoring mother territory I expect at least some observations that I can greatly relate to.

Oy, can I just point out that Jon is still trying to chicken out of my challenge?

"Aw, do I have to? It's really boring... "

How do you know Jon? By your own admittance you don't go to see live comedy. Grrr.
So yes (and I'm turning into your mother here), you DO have to go and see a gig young man, because it isn't boring if you choose wisely - you're just being too darned lazy to find out for yourself (you may notice, Jon, that I'm working myself into quite a huff - this is a subject close to the ol' heart. Don't take offence, just take the lesson.) Kinder Surprise and the others sound like they can help you choose a gig.. Why not take an educated punt and invest ten quid going to see Mr Griffiths, or any of the other comics suggested? Jesus, I'll even look up Time Out online and suggest a gig if that's what it takes.

As a comedy promoter I'm here to tell you: sitting at home quietly appreciating comedy on TV does diddleysquat to creating a healthy comedy scene. Zilch.
Bottom line is punters going out and supporting comedians they think show promise. If somebody looks like they've got potential, see them, laugh, applaud, tell them you like what they're doing, ask the venue when the comic is going to be back. If you're quite content for average comedians to keep appealing to the unwashed masses, then stay at home. Just don't complain about how average comics are nowadays.

Sooooo...that having been said, can I ask for a show of hands - who's going to support Peter J's gig? Bums on seats is what counts. (Jon, if you can't make it out of the house, make sure you nominate somebody in proxy).

I will be going anyway. But seeing as you have attacked my integrity I'll go and have a look at the TimeOut listings right now. So: NER!!

Hoorah! Jon, I look forward to your report.
(I shall be attacking the integrity of others soon)

>
>As a comedy promoter I'm here to tell you: sitting at home quietly appreciating comedy on TV does diddleysquat to creating a healthy comedy scene. Zilch.

Only if you believe that only writer performers do good TV comedy. Galton and Simpson never did stand up. Nor did Clement and La Frenais. Or Perry and Croft. Or Chris Morris. Or Douglas Adams. Why shouldn't Jon be picky about stand up? A lot of it is poor (like any medium admittedly) but I don't see how not going to see stand-ups means you're letting down the comedy scene. Personally, I'm sick of TV comedy being totally centred around writer-performers.

Al, you mistake what I am saying. For the past 70 odd posts we've been discussing live comedy. When I say that sitting at home quietly appreciating TV does zilch for the comedy scene, I am still referring to live comedy and not television comedy. Your points are valid, but unconnected to the crux of this thread.

If you check back you might also see that I'm actually encouraging Jon to be picky/discerning. I don't want him seeing average or poor comedians either, which is why I'm saying he should see people others on this forum have recommended.

The point I am making is that it is all too easy to claim that it isn't worth going to see live stuff, because it is. Every week I get to see brilliant, cutting edge, highly inventive comics at work, and I know that Jon and others (sorry Jon, you seem to have become some sort of benchmark here) would get great pleasure from experiencing the same. Yes, there are some pretty average comics out there, but this is a bit of a "is the glass half empty or half full?" argument as there are also some excellent ones.

Al, I like to accentuate the positive. Instead of thinking "there's nothing worth seeing", why not try thinking "I wonder if there's anything worth seeing?" I'm sounding a bit too damned new age for my own liking, so I'll stop here.

By the way, are you going to go to Peter's gig? I think it'll be a good one.

Fair enough. Just a bit of a bee in my bonnet that's all...

Yes - I will go to Peter's, work permitting.

I'd come to this if it happens. I know it's not very imaginative, but Lee & Herring please.

Good on you guys! With the support of this forum I'm positive that Peter will pull this off. I'll do whatever I can from my side of the world, and you lot do what you can.
Dr H, I'm sure L & H will be keen.
Al, I'm glad that bee has been set free.

I did look at Time Out, as promised. And I have just stopped crying.

Don't want to go, don't want to go, don't want to go....

I mean I don't want to go to anything mentioned in TO. I'd like to go to the SOTCAA thing.

There there, it's allright Jon...(*speaks in soothing voice*)
Take a deep breath and take the plunge. I know that there's a lot of strange names and bright lights and odd smells out there; just pick one of the names mentioned in this thread and go for it. All it is is one night out of your life, and you'll pick up some good karma points for your next reincarnation.
We'll see it through together, Jon, we'll get you out of the house yet, son!

I have no problem leaving the house. I have a problem going somewhere where some buffoon will generate an embarrassed silence failing to entertain a crowd of people, which I find is a terrible thing to behold. So I only watch comics who are already famous and therefore run less risk of being rubbish.

You do what?? Heavens Jon, you're missing out on so much! Great performers have to start somewhere - the discerning punter can ferret them out soon enough. I liken it to a treasure hunt. There is nothing that beats the satisfaction of discovering an unknown gem.
My absolute favourite comics in Australia, although recognised amongst the comedy diehards, are utterly unknown to the wider public. (Ask Stewart Lee, he's seen the ones I mean) .
Hmm, I'm beginning to think that this may be a cultural divide thing Jon. Maybe it's because Australia is a betting nation, but most of us don't mind taking a punt on the unknown. Instead of "Why?" it's more like "Yeah, why not?"
It's the half-empty/half-full argument again. Sure there's the risk you might see some unfunny bozo, but you'll probably see some quite reasonable talent too.
I'm determined to get you to a good gig now. Hang in there Jon!

Welcome to "World of mouth."

>Welcome to "World of mouth."
>


That has to be one of the most exciting sentences I've ever read.

It's certainly sent a thrill through me.

By the way, just been looking at whatever lineups are listed online for London. Boy, some of them are...how can I put it...CRAP. (Admittedly, there were only listings for a handful of mainstream venues)
Jon, maybe wait 'til Edinburgh is over!
Always helps if the venue is a good one. I always liked Downstairs at the Kings Head (Crouch End?). Huw Thomas is an immensely genial MC.
Also like Meccano. Anyone else want to nominate some?

Rich Hall is at Red Rose Oct 14. Looks good.
(I think this is world wide word-of-mouth)

>>Welcome to "World of mouth."
>>
>
>
>That has to be one of the most exciting sentences I've ever read.

Every day is a new adventure in sexual imagery for you, isn't it?

Incidentally Rich Hall is excellent. Imagine a grouchy lunatic pacing back and forth and barking abuse occasionally. (So he's right up my street.)

Hey! I did "Word of Mouth"!

He's got it, by George, I think he's got it

>>>Welcome to "World of mouth."
>>>
>>
>>
>>That has to be one of the most exciting sentences I've ever read.
>
>Every day is a new adventure in sexual imagery for you, isn't it?

I don't get out much.

>>>>Welcome to "World of mouth."
>>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>That has to be one of the most exciting sentences I've ever read.
>>
>>Every day is a new adventure in sexual imagery for you, isn't it?
>
>I don't get out much.

How often do you masturbate?

(I am a doctor.)

>How often do you masturbate?
>
>(I am a doctor.)


How often do you masturbate, Doctor?

(I am a painter and decorator.)

>
>How often do you masturbate?
>
>(I am a doctor.)

Every time I think about Penelope Keith.

(I am a deviant.)

>>How often do you masturbate?
>>
>>(I am a doctor.)
>
>
>How often do you masturbate, Doctor?
>
>(I am a painter and decorator.)

Synchronised cocks!