Something to throw? Try a Radio Times Royal Souvenir Issue, one of the many that they have printed over the years. "100 Glorious Years"? Bunch of arselickers.
As usual, Alison Graham had nothing of any consequence or interest to say. It's not like she offered any real kind of criticism. Most likely she just spotted which newcomer was being feted as the Next Big Thing by listening to what everyone else was saying. How clever of her to avoid making her own judgement about who was the best. Alison also fancies herself as something of a comedian, judging by comments like "One woman arrives with a sizeable backpack. Maybe she's planning to pitch a tent, or bring out a camping stove." Be still my aching sides.
So those quotes were stolen from elsewhere? Disappointing, but oddly typical of RT. Ages ago, they printed a Doctor Who 30th Anniversary feature, which included reminiscences from various ex-Doctor Who cast members. I was quite shocked at a young age to discover that most of these had been taken, word-for-word, from a documentary that was shown the following week. Bastards.
"Research?! PAH! We spit on your Research!"
While we're on the subject of Alison Graham, flip forward to p50 of the same edition and read her comments on "Border Cafe". Then try to imagine what would happen if she tried to deal with anything genuinely conceptually difficult like, say, an orange:
"Oranges have been around for ages now, but just exactly what they are supposed to be remains a mystery. Are they red, are they yellow, are they "red-yellow"? They're a kind of citrus fruit, as are lemons, so they should be exactly the same as lemons in all respects. But citrus fruit alone cannot set a television screen on fire..."
Actually now I've done that I realise there's no point producing weak parodies of RT copy, because nothing compares to the real thing. Highlight of last night's TV listings, absolutely sic:
"10.15 Little Angels
Stealing yogurts and refusing to sleep in their own bed are just two of the ways that children are pushing parents to the edge. In the second of this two-part programme..."
Competition time. Can you find upwards of half a dozen basic subbing errors and violations of the art of prose in the above? Winner receives a stainless-steel fountain pen from the Parker's Frontier range or something.