Danny Wallace is so rude.
Posted Sat Jul 22 03:28:45 BST 2000 by Gee
Can someone please write to Danny Wallace, he's ignoring my sister now.
Hiya Danny,
Wow what a world we live in eh mate. Your column is totally crazy, really funny. Where do all these fantastically mad people come from. Every Friday I wait in anticipation to find out what all the insane people of the world are up to. Please please please keep it up and never buckle to all those silly people who say you're devoid of personality. As far as I'm concerned this is the best site on the Web. I don't care a hoot for all the others. If I wanted intelligent debate and well thought out argument, then I'd go somewhere else. No this has got the right recipe for me. Nothing too taxing, nothing no one's gonna want to take issue with or question. Tell me I'm dying to know, does Harry Hill really have sex with his wife? Outrageous behaviour I think. I suppose this is rock 'n' roll comedy and there's going to be some mavericks. Hell I can't believe I'm really writing to you <pinches self>. Oh Danny I've got so much to ask you lots to tell you. Where do I start? I'm part of a girl-band, Kinky Thing. I do most of the writing but I don't really do too much of the singing. We've got an audition next week and we're hoping to get signed to a label. We've been told by our manager (who's also my dad) to wear sexy costumes. Dad loves our band. He's always driving the other girls home after rehearsals. And even though the traffic is so terrible that it takes him hours, he's always pleased to help out. The band's going on a bit of a 'hold' for a while as Amy, our main singer, has her baby. Once again dad's been marvellous and is constantly fussing over Amy. He spends an absolute fortune on her.
What else has been happening? Well yesterday I got my first 'A' ever at school. I'm not really great at school but I seem to excel in domestic science. My mum says having a baby gives me a bit of an edge on things like hygine. I suppose teaching Krista to read (my silly boyfriend thought up the name) has helped me with my reading and writng. I'm not going to be held back just because I'm a mum.
Love
Tam
Subject: Re: Danny Wallace is so rude.
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Posted By jonno on Mon Jul 24 10:12:01 BST 2000:
I suppose that you fancy yourself as a modern-day Henry Root or Edna Welthorp, do you? Well, keep dreaming kiddo.
Subject: Re: Danny Wallace is so rude.
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Posted By kinder surprise on Mon Jul 24 11:28:01 BST 2000:
Ah leave him alone jonno. Do you make a habit of crushing the idol fantasies of 'kiddos'?
jonno I wouldn't procreate if I were you, you'd spoil the illusion of Father Christmas before the cell divded.
Subject: Re: Danny Wallace is so rude.
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Posted By Jon on Mon Jul 24 11:37:29 BST 2000:
'Edna Welthorp' was just a one-off from Joe Orton, wasn't it?
Ages since I've looked at that copy of 'Entertaining Mr Sloane'...
Subject: Re: Danny Wallace is so rude.
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Posted By Jon on Mon Jul 24 11:39:06 BST 2000:
I saw a Henry Root book once and I thought it was rubbish. Maybe the whole genre doesn't work, full stop.
Gee's one was OK though.
Subject: Re: Danny Wallace is so rude.
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Posted By Gee Whizz on Mon Jul 24 17:46:21 BST 2000:
Gee is a twat
Subject: Re: Danny Wallace is so rude.
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Posted By Gee on Mon Jul 24 22:29:16 BST 2000:
I hope you mean you!
Subject: Re: Danny Wallace is so rude.
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Posted By Gee Whizz on Mon Jul 24 22:58:34 BST 2000:
No I mean you, you twat.
Subject: Re: Danny Wallace is so rude.
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Posted By Gee on Tue Jul 25 18:10:12 BST 2000:
Oh that's OK. I thought it seemed a bit daft insulting yourself. Thanks again. Keep the lame postings coming and don't worry yourself about them being inferior to mine. You can make up for them by calling me a twat. If that's all you can do, who am I to complain. I never bullied the slow kids at school and I'm not going to start bashing retards now. I think it's great that you people with 'special needs' have a go. You are a charity case, aren't you?
Subject: Re: Danny Wallace is so rude.
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Posted By The RealThink Comedy Club on Tue Jul 25 19:21:08 BST 2000:
Thank you for your help and we welcome any comments you might wish to add.
The RealThink Comedy Club
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