Danny Wallace snubs my little brother Posted Fri Jul 14 16:29:49 BST 2000 by Gee

My brother wrote to Danny Wallace at the BBC but the rude man blanked him. Keith is in tears. Here's his letter:


Hello Danny,

My name is Keith and I am 13 years old and I want to be a comedian (you probably wanted to be one too I think.) How can I get a start in the comedy business? I'm not old enough to work pubs or clubs and I'm banned from performing at my school because I'm too rude. I like to do jokes about drugs (I often use the man who sells us drugs outside the school gates as a model) but the teachers don't like it as it reflects on the school and the headmaster thinks we could slip down in the league tables (I didn't even know our football team was that good. But there you go.) I want to get work at holiday camps because I've heard all the top people started there: Mr Barrymoore and Mr Shame Richie did I believe. What do you think I should do to get ahead in the comedy business? I'm young, I know, but I'm prepared to do almost anything to reach my dream. I'm not homosexual but I could be if I needed to be. I know that lots of gay people are in the entertainment business and I'm prepared to go that way if I need to. I probably would have been gay in it hadn't of been for the Clause 28 thing and I may have missed out on something because of this. I hope this doesn't prevent me from my dream.

There are lots of really really funny people on the telly, and then there's Harry Hill as well. My dad said that he is a doctor but that can't be true because laugher in the best medicine and Harry Hill makes me feel sick. I use to like Ben Elton but I think now I'm 13 I've out grown his humour. I don't like Jo Brand because she's not funny and I think that that's quite important in comedy. Someone told me that the man who does all the adverts, Stephen Fry I think, use to be a comedian years a go. I don't think that's right though because he's too posh and I think he must have been a butler or something.

Well thank you Danny and please let me know how I can become a comedian.

All the best

Keith


Subject: Re: Danny Wallace snubs my little brother [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Tarka on Fri Jul 14 19:09:06 BST 2000:

You sad fuck.

Just what point are you trying to make exactly?

Subject: Re: Danny Wallace snubs my little brother [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Gee on Fri Jul 14 19:40:06 BST 2000:

>You sad fuck.
>
>Just what point are you trying to make exactly?


The point that Danny Wallace snub my little brother. Do they call you 'side light' 'cause you're not bright enough for a full beam?

Subject: Re: Danny Wallace snubs my little brother [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Tarka on Sat Jul 15 00:36:50 BST 2000:

If you had a brain cell it would die of loneliness.

Subject: Re: Danny Wallace snubs my little brother [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Gee on Sat Jul 15 00:59:55 BST 2000:

And if you had a personality, you wouldn't have to wank so much.

Subject: Re: Danny Wallace snubs my little brother [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Anonymous on Sat Jul 15 11:18:21 BST 2000:

Gee,
i hope you didnt use your WHOLE brain cell to write that sentence

Subject: Re: Danny Wallace snubs my little brother [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Tarka on Sat Jul 15 15:26:48 BST 2000:

Yeah!

Subject: Re: Danny Wallace snubs my little brother [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Secret Admirers on Sat Jul 15 22:50:02 BST 2000:

We bow to Gee, he is our inspiration.
Keep up the 'looking for work' scam Andrew!!

Subject: Re: Danny Wallace snubs my little brother [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Gee on Sun Jul 16 15:00:48 BST 2000:

Is that Ben Elton again? I don't Suiipose I'll ever find out who it is.

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