Half Man Half Biscuit Posted Sun Jul 9 17:30:40 BST 2000 by Justin

Can't remember if they've already been covered, but they are the funniest band of all-time, quite probably.

What's their best song, then?

Here's my top ten (don't worry if you haven't heard them, the titles alone are Godlike):

1) 4AD3DCD
2) PRS Yearbook - Quick The Drawbridge
3) Deep House Victims Minibus Appeal
4) I Hate Nerys Hughes (From The Heart)
5) Venus In Flares
6) Dickie Davis Eyes
7) Running Order Squabble Fest
8) 99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd
9) Four Skinny Indie Kids Drinking Weak Lager In A Camden Boozer
10) All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit.

Anybody else here who was a John Peel listener in 1986?

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Bent Halo on Mon Jul 10 04:49:52 BST 2000:

If you were a Peelite in 86, did you get all those early HMHB sessions? No one else seems to have them.

Funny you should mention them. SOTCAA are looking into a feature on them. Only looking, mind. Gez Woods does a fantastic job elsewhere.

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Jon on Mon Jul 10 06:46:18 BST 2000:

You didn't even mention 'Trumpton Riots', 'Running Order Squabble Fest', and 'Deep House Victims Minibus Appeal'!

'Reflections In A Flat' wasn't a particularly funny title, but the track itself was a brilliant piss-take of every grim 80s band from Lancashire. You know who I mean.

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Al on Mon Jul 10 09:43:30 BST 2000:

there is of course the small matter of 'Fuckin' 'Ell - It's Fred Titmuss', and 'D'Ye Ken Ted Moult'...

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Bent Halo on Mon Jul 10 10:48:03 BST 2000:

"The chords are augmented/The amplifier's rented" Fretwork Homework

"I went from the Andes to the Indies in my undies" Eno Collaboration


A couple that spring immediately to mind.

Anyone heard 'Mogwai Song' which they've thus far only performed live? It's sung in the same vein as The Goodies' 'Father Xmas Do Not Touch me", to innacurately attribute the tune. The words are:

"The singer out of Mogwai went to Rome to see the pope" (x3)

"And this is what John Paul said...."

"Who the fucking hell are Mogwai? Who the fucking hell are Mogwai? Who the fucking hell are Mogwai? In relation to me getting out of bed?"

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Jon on Mon Jul 10 11:21:31 BST 2000:

"You didn't even mention 'Trumpton Riots', 'Running Order Squabble Fest', and 'Deep House Victims Minibus Appeal'!"

Er, you did, sorry. I rushed to judgement, I apologise. It's just that some things are sacred...

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By The Corpses on Mon Jul 10 17:14:35 BST 2000:

The best opening line ever:

'Quick, run, hide - here comes Dave Stewart...'

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Al on Mon Jul 10 17:21:13 BST 2000:

I had an excellent HMHB page bookmarked but the link seems not to work anymore - anyone know if it's moved, or the address of any other HMHB sites?

"God gave us life - Gordon Jackson..."

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Al on Mon Jul 10 20:46:32 BST 2000:

PS - my partner claims they did a version of Old Shep - can anyone confirm this?

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Justin on Mon Jul 10 21:34:51 BST 2000:

>PS - my partner claims they did a version of Old Shep - can anyone confirm this?


I can't - but they collaborated with Margi Clarke some years ago on a cover of Je Ne Regrette Rien, translated into English ("No, I have no regrets..."). Hilariously crap.

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Bent Halo on Mon Jul 10 23:47:24 BST 2000:

'No Regrets' was actually a cover of Scott Walker's English translation. The sleeve claims new lyrics were written by 'Margi Clarke and Jamie Reid'! Unquestionably a joke.

The HMHB page moved a long time ago. If you do a regular old search you should find it straight away. Yahoo "gets it".

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Justin on Tue Jul 11 05:46:57 BST 2000:

>'No Regrets' was actually a cover of Scott Walker's English translation. The sleeve claims new lyrics were written by 'Margi Clarke and Jamie Reid'! Unquestionably a joke.

Rats - rumbled for claiming I've heard something when I haven't. Won't happen again.

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Al on Tue Jul 11 17:35:05 BST 2000:

Aha! - just checked the HMHB site and it claims that No Regrets is indeed a duet with Margi Clarke. One live bootleg even includes Nigel and Margi duetting the number live. Wish I'd caught that...

Subject: Re: Half Man Half Biscuit [ Previous Message ]
Posted By Barney Sloane on Tue Jul 11 18:09:18 BST 2000:

Damn, I haven't thought about them for years. I remember liking 'Dickie Davies' Eyes'
(although the b-side, 'I Left My Heart in Papworth General' was funnier) and 'Time Flies By (When You're The Driver Of A Train)' ("...speeding out of Chigley with a cargo of cocaine"). The bass playing on the latter track actually inspired my friend Kevin to take up playing, and now he's a pro. Funny old thing, life.

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