>England losing tonight is going to be the funniest thing on TV for ages.
Can't be worse than Baddiel and Skinner Unplanned.
p.s. Could you get me Collaterlie Sisters's autograph? It's not for me, its for my auntie....
I'm sick as a parrot, Brian.
Ha ha. Your typical British pessimism was confounded and from thence the humour arose. I for one knew we would win.
Ha ha
A friend and I actually decided the fate of the europeon championships whilst playing sensible soccer the other week
apparently england with lose 3 - 1 to portugal then win 7 - 0 over Germany
the poor performance was apparently due to "an abundance of cheap and not so nice without blackcurrant cider" so says the German coach...
>Ha ha. Your typical British pessimism was confounded and from thence the humour arose. I for one knew we would win.
>Ha ha
Ahhh, that's where you're wrong. I'm German.
Or at least, if I was, then you'd be wrong. Get out of that, fish-name-man.
>A friend and I actually decided the fate of the europeon championships whilst playing sensible soccer the other week
>apparently england with lose 3 - 1 to portugal then win 7 - 0 over Germany
I decoded the results of most of England's Euro '96 matches by eating foods/drinking drinks which were the same colour as the opposition's shirts.
For example, when we beat Holland 4-1 I ate a toasted cheese sandwich with Red Leicester cheese in it.
Against Scotland I was drinking Fosters which is contained in a blue can.
I didn't do anything against Germany, so we lost.
I also killed Princess Diana, Mother Theresa and "Tosh" from ITV's "The Bill", by playing "Be Here Now", by Oasis.
But that's another story.
MY FOOTBALL DIARY
I love football me. I've loved it for years and years and years. I only wish it had been more fashionable when I was a kid then perhaps me and dad could have gone to a few games. Mind you back then it didn't have half the appeal it has now. Dad loves the game so much he's got shares in a few teams. That's what I call dedication. With dad's connections we get to see all the celebrities at the matches. Keith Allen even asked dad if he'd like to sing with Fat Les. Dad said, thanks but no. He said he had too much respect for William Blake to do that. Keith said: �Who's William Blake, man, this is a football song.� Keith's at all the matches nowadays. Well he's got to be really 'cos' he's making a fair bit out the games and it's only right that he puts in an appearance for the punters. Football's so bloody great isn't it? Those advertising people are so smart to call it the Beautiful Game. Dad says that the market's still open and that there's lots of money to be made. He says it's fucking beautiful the way the parents have to shell out for new kits four times a year. I asked dad if football would ever go out of fashion again. Dad said: �No we've taken care of that son. We've got the girls into it this time as well. Before we'd made the mistake of marketing it as a purely male sport. That was a stupid mistake. So we added a dash of glamour and now the girls fork out the £30 as well as the men. It sometimes amazes me when I see all the missed opportunities. We'd been robbing ourselves blind for years. The idea of an untapped source is disgusting.� Me and me dad we just love our football. Dad says football is the corporate face the people love.
I hate football.
I like comedy.
So I come to a comedy website to avoid talking about football.
And what happens?
Bloody typical
Well I feel dead smug now anyways.
Why not express your hatred of football like I do? Run into the middle of your local team's ground during a match, and crouch for a quick shit.