Getting scripts produced
Posted Thu May 18 09:49:26 BST 2000 by Mr Turner
I've been trying to get a script for a half-hour comedy show produced for the last three months, and whilst there has been progress the process is still painfully slow. I've got interest from Channel 4 but, even so, it's taking well ages. Is there any way to speed up replies from production companies? I did include a knockback letter from Talkback with my script sendouts, but I made sure any negative effect was negated by turning it into a doss clever sartire by writing a silly comment at the bottom.
I'm also making a series of short comedy films for the Edinburgh Festwival with my best mate. The first one - and this is copywrited, by the way - is a tribute to the music of Roy Orbital (Orbison) entitled 'In Dreams'. Anyone interested in starring should contact me at [email protected]
I don't know what all this codpiece about Richard Herring and Simon Pegg is about. I do not mind Simon Pegg, but this is only on account of that fact that I could burst him well easy in a fight.
Subject: Re: Getting scripts produced
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Posted By Mr Turner on Thu May 18 10:03:15 BST 2000:
Oh yeah, I'm also doing a film about Chyna becoming a dinnerlady in a comprehensive school. In case you didn't know, Chyna is a big massive WWF lady wrestler.
And I'm supposed to be doing some film about these two poofs who go on honeymoon. Or something like that.
Subject: Re: Getting scripts produced
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Posted By Jon on Fri May 19 11:36:03 BST 2000:
Mr Turner, send your scripts to Channel 5 immediately. They'll build their entire autumn schedule around material of that quality.
Subject: Re: Getting scripts produced
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Posted By Mr Turner on Fri May 19 12:26:37 BST 2000:
And there is also the tennis film. These two brothers are pro tennis players, hot shit at their game. One of the brothers is killed in a game by this Russian player who's got this mad bionic arm. The surviving brother goes off to the mountains where he meets this crazy old chinaman who trains him up to fuck in ninja ways. It's called 'Deuce or Die'. Possible Gary Busey vehicle.
Subject: Re: Getting scripts produced
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Posted By Jon on Fri May 19 13:52:52 BST 2000:
Gary Busey? I've never heard of him. Does he have a bionic arm?
Subject: Re: Getting scripts produced
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Posted By Mr Turner on Tue May 23 10:34:56 BST 2000:
Gary Busey is the big blonde dude who was the baddie in the first 'Lethal Weapon'. He is affectionately known as 'the guy who looks like Nick Nolte, but isn't'. You can recognise him by his ginormous teeth (a characteristic shared by his actor son Jake, star of Sky's 'Shasta McNasty'). You may have seen him in a film called 'The Motorcycle Gang'.
FACT: In 1977, after his Golden Globe-winning performance in 'The Buddy Holly Story', a visitor at Gary Busey's door introduced himself as Satan and handed him a huge rock of cocaine with the initials 'GB' carved onto it.
Do not watch 'The Buddy Holly Story'. I have seen it and it is utter yite.
Subject: Re: Getting scripts produced
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Posted By Mr Turner on Tue May 23 10:36:47 BST 2000:
Oh aye, I forgot about 'Watcher in the Attic'. It's this TV movie where Gary Busey hides in some cunt's loft and spies on folk. And that's it. During the film Gary squints into the sun a lot.
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