I shall probably be watching, bottle of vodka in hand, getting steadily more drunk (like Tegs Wogan!). Hopefully there will be some fiiine laydees for me to 'check out', and maybe I will try and sing along with the Turkish entry (try it at home Kids!!). And of course we can all relax in the sure and certain hope that GB will fall flat on its arse. In fact, if we win, I'll snog Thora Hird.*






*note: this is not a legally binding contract.

BTW, I thought the Germans were robbed last year. Bloody criminal, just cos Charlotte Neilsen was more hot than the fat turkish keyboard player in 'Surpriz'. Disgraceful.

Who was it who decided that the Eurovision Song Contest was a big kitschfest, by the way? (Not being rhetorical or sarky - genuine question...)

I always remember it (from childhood) as this slightly dull programme that went on too long.

And it still is, isn't it?

I'll sit in Terry Wogan's little booth and nibble his ears.

Will you be wearing a sparly spandex pants suit?

Yeah..and he'll most likely be trying to remove it.

Oh and I bet you'll be complaining your ittle head off!




Pah









Tart.

Terry...I know I shouldn't shag thee, but...

...mmm...Woganlicious!

>So Líam (and anyone else who's interested), who's going to win tomorrow? Can anything stop another undeserved Irish victory?!
>

Another(?)undeserved Irish walkover??

Bitter little oik!

(Though the Irish one this year is cringingly awful, erm just like about 23 others)

I believe the Dutch are soo desperate to win it this year, that they've resorted to having the male dancers strip down to unbelievable proportions...and the female singer gets her kit off too.

So I've heard.

Male dancers stripping you say?

<gets tape ready>

Female dancers stripping you say?

<gets tape ready>

AUNT BELLA????

Wait, there's someone on the other line...

MICHAEL JACKSON???

Bitter little oik?!

And lo and behold Ireland did a lot better than they deserved to yet again!!

Meanwhile, I'm on cloud nine after Denmark's wonderful victory!

They bribed the judges.

They *must* have.

...Search them for suspicious packages of meat.




...wait, john!... i meant bacon.

<shoves fishfingers up arse>

I hope you warmed them first. Imagine if you had the equivalent to "tongue stuck to ski-lift"... but *there*.

WHY DIDN'T FINLAND WIN???!!!!!

>Bitter little oik?!
>
>And lo and behold Ireland did a lot better than they deserved to yet again!!

What happened to the UK's ong. I haven't actually heard it but was it really bad. Or is the UK not flavour of the month at the moment.

15th, though wasn't it? Is that the worst for years?

worst result ever - 16th

I bet Rikki is a very happy man! And they showed a clip of 'Only the Light' during the contest!

Is it me, or was that Ricky Grover singing Sweden's entry?

(And while we're at it, was that David Baddiel impersonating Sacha Baron-Cohen at the BAFTAs...?)

I really wanted those mad Red Indian Swedes to win, or Germany with 'Wadde Hadde Dudde da'! Pure comedy form start to finish i Eurovision, it should be on more than once a year!

I think Vialli was singing for the Spanish, and as for Celine Dion moonlighting for Finland....

And Anne Diamond singing for Bosnia.

Bosnia wasn't even in it this year!

PS - Swizerland should have won - or if we're going to look at countries which had any chance, Russia - and why was The Naked Chef singing for Latvia?

The Latvian guy was a cross between Mick Jagger and early Morrissey......




*If my star would fall....*

Bosnia was in it.

Nick Owen was backing singer.

Bosnia were not in it this year

See - told you. Liam says they weren't in it so they weren't, were they! His name's in red, he oughta know!

Croatia and (FYRO)Macedonia were in it, but not Bosnia (Incidentally, has it ever occured to anyone that Bosnia and Herzegovina [proper full name] abbreviates to B&H? Seriously, it does)

It wasn't a good year for Eurovision this year anyway

I wanted Bosnia to win this year, though.

Right, I have a red name and I've been here the longest, listen to ME!

Bosnia *were* in it, you must have gone for a weewee when they were on.

Told you.

Sssh Darling, it's alright. They know NOTHING!

I know.

It just annoys me when people act like they know the facts when they clearly don't.

Want me to send the boys round Dearest?

Are these the boys in lycra?

backing singers / thigs?

thigs = thugs

sorry

No. They are the boys with machetes and tazers, and they don't take kindly to being called thugs.

LET THAT BE A WARNING TO YOU!






















<despatches 'Boys' to airport>



















Haha.

#Too young to die, but too old to survive.#

<weeps>

Aww, don't cry love! Here, have a Breezer!

*runs away*

Thanks for the Breezer!

It's Breezer-tastic!

Fancy some stripy ice-cream?

I think it'll have melted by now.

No it won't, cos I encased it in a block of ice 8 metres thick!

*puts chisel down*

...it's in the middle of a very attractive ice swan now...

>Bitter little oik?!
>
>And lo and behold Ireland did a lot better than they deserved to yet again!!
>
>Meanwhile, I'm on cloud nine after Denmark's wonderful victory!
>
> I thought Ireland was quite good , they did better than expected. It was good to see
Denmark win!!.. even though Sweden was good as well!!

Ok, I'm game to try and get a topic back on topic after Suiii and John! have gone off with it...

Denmark, Russia, Latvia and Estonia are all set for release in the UK in the nest month or two. Unlike Nicki French, several of these have the backing of record companies so they could well be hits.

Admittedly the last thing we need is more Britneys, but the Russian song is better than many others in the top ten at the moment!

And I suppose the Irsih song isn't too bad - they were just horribly twee lyrics.

"Ah go on - hug a child!"

#Cha cha cha, cha cha cha!#

<dances>

Hug a wee bairn for me, now.

Husband, let us tango!!

<does the Tango>

Wow, you're superb!!

Do I look like an authentic Scotsman?

Yeah man! You look so Greek it's unbelievable!

<plays with fish and chips>

<throws him a boomerang>

#My boomerang won't come back#

Do you want this yoghurt instead then?

As long as there are no bits in it.

I can take the bits out if you want, but they're Pringly bits!

Leave them in.